Ok, gird your loins for snark. Fall Fashion Week is coming, and while looking around online for info I ran into this–excerpted below–which, okay, okay, is for last year–but I just couldn’t resist posting their portrait of the “fashion forward Angeleno.” Get this: “…the beautiful Angeleno cannot live without her sage green YSL bag and eco-friendly denim while jumping into her hybrid.”
Does this mean I’m marked for death without my sage green YSL bag? Boy howdy, am I bummed I’m not one of the beautiful people right now. Where’s MY hybrid?! Will they march me to the city limits if I don’t have a hybrid–perhaps even “in shades of lime, mint and Kelly green, reflecting the palette of an environmentally friendly spring season”—by fall? I, too, wish to “run errands in grey and purple wool oversized sweaters”! I want to “look no further than this season’s feminine looks to seal the perfect evening outfit to celebrate spring at celebrity and fashionista favorite hotspot, Hyde.” I know I want to “celebrate spring” at a celebutante bar, definitely. Can’t *I* “drive to the trendy shops of Robertson Boulevard, ready to pick up spring season essentials”? Essentials? I thought essentials were toilet paper, soap and DSL. OMG, color me SOOOO last season!!! [claps hands to cheeks, aghast] How could I be so…so…UNFASHIONABLE?! The horror!!!
This breezy bulls**t marketing blurbage is so awesome in all the wrong ways, I keep trying to dig up this fall’s version of the same thing, but alas, the current Fall Fashion Week website offers no gems as brilliant as this. Click thru for the full version in all its vapid glory.