All posts by la_sanjay

Surf Report – March 6

Photo: Swellmagnet

A few days ago, the water was cold enough to make Barry White sound like a eunuch. But it feels much warmer now — probably between 57 and 59 degrees. Even though it was supposed to be flat in Venice today, there were about ten people out. Good day for beginners. Most of the handful of waves were pretty small. But if you could ignore your bootie-less feet turning blue long enough, every so often a larger set would roll in with enough energy for a shortboard. I saw some garbage in the water. But at least it looked like clean garbage.

Top LA Legends #25: Mummy found in Long Beach amusement park


A failed train robber took a .32 to the thorax and died. His body was embalmed for entertainment-purposes, used as collateral for loans, re-emerged in Long Beach, and was killed a second time by hanging. A cyborg, known as El Hombre Nuclear in Mexico and Peru, was getting powdered in a funhouse when one of his assistants yanked the arm off of a mannequin, only to discover a human bone. The cyborg’s assistants sent the mannequin of human bones to Oklahoma for a funeral, which some of them attended.

Truth, Truthy, or Lie? The answer after the jump.
Continue reading Top LA Legends #25: Mummy found in Long Beach amusement park

Surf Report – March 2

Photo: Swellmagnet

The rain’s kept some of us out of the ocean these past few days (specifically, those who haven’t developed a resistance to ingesting fecal waste), but strict observers of the 3-day rule got back in today. The wind was finally blowing the right way, but the waves sucked. Breaking really close to shore and closing out. And it was cold. It felt like Norcal water. Everytime you went under, your brain was like, “Why are you being such an asshole to your extremities?” I saw only three guys, one dolphin, and one sea lion in the water when I was out. The guy in the snap above looked like he was handling the cold better than the rest of us — but probably because at this moment he was closer to the sun.

Dogtown landmark to be replaced by something boring?


A little piece of surfing/skating history may be shut down and replaced by a Chipotle. Kind of. I just assume “neighborhood redevelopment” means Chipotle is on its way. In this case, we’re talking about the site of the original Zephyr and Jeff Ho Productions building at 2001-2011 Main Street, which in its current form is the Horizons West Surf Shop. If you surf, you know this place. If you don’t, you saw it in “Dogtown and Z-Boys” and “Lords of Dogtown.” People are pretty pissed off that the building’s owner may redevelop this spot out of existence, and supporters seek “historic landmark” status in an attempt to save the place. Read about it here and here.

I’ve never been to a Chipotle. I’m sure it’s a nice place. And the landlord owns the building, so they can do whatever they want with it. But I think what they want to do is lame, for two reasons:
Continue reading Dogtown landmark to be replaced by something boring?

11 Gangs Targeted, 12th Gang Slighted

The Mayor and Police Chief just announced they’re assigning 200 LAPD officers to help contain 11 violent street gangs. See the list and article here. Way to go guys. Now we know that somewhere in LA, gang number 12 is thinking: What are we doing wrong? What about us? We’d better assign 200 gang members to the case.

Hope not.

Light Bulbs, Shooting Someone In The Face: Both Illegal


If you watched The Colbert Report the other night, you heard that one of our local Assemblymen, Lloyd Levine (D-Van Nuys), is introducing a bill to ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs in California by the year 2012 because they are much less efficient than fluorescent light bulbs. He’s titled it the “How Many Legislators Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb Act.” Don’t believe me? Perhaps a better title would be the “Let’s Light Everyone’s Face So They Look Green and Pukey Act” or, perhaps more accurately, the “I Need Press And I Don’t Care What Kind Even If It’s Just Late Night TV Bits At My Expense Act.” I’m actually neutral on this bill. I don’t really care about light bulbs. Plus, when DWP picked up my broken refrigerator the other day they gave me six free fluorescent bulbs (a $40 value), so I’m prepared for the transition. I’m just concerned that this will mean Light Bulbs Unlimited, a store I’ve never entered but enjoy driving by at 40mph, will either go out of business or be forced to resort to selling illicit bulbs. Does Light Bulbs Unlimited deserve that? They do not.

Crane collapses on 405/101 Interchange

Was in Encino this afternoon and saw four news copters hovering over 405. Got back to my desk and read the longest Sigalert traffic collision report ever. There was a huge accident involving a gigantic, collapsed construction crane. Read about it here. A few people were injured but so far no deaths reported. Traffic’s been backed up for 10 miles on 405 North for the last three hours. They’ve shut down the highway and do not plan to re-open it until 5pm. Mooninites declared chief suspects.

N.W.A. visits Venice Beach, 1989

Sometimes I like looking at old video footage of LA. Sometimes that footage has Eazy-E in it. If Wikipedia is accurate, we know the following about Eazy-E: He was 5’5″ tall. He lived in the same house in Compton his entire life. He used to drive a red Suzuki Samurai. The Mayor of Compton announced an Eazy-E day to be held every year in the City of Compton. He is known for his visit to the White House and having dinner with George H.W. Bush.

Comedy minus 47-drink minimums


So Bill Gates wants to “revolutionize” television, and YouTube wants to share revenue with you to create the next Speak The Hungarian Rapper video. Downside? There will be more crap to wade through to the good stuff. Upside? At least when it comes to comedy, some of the good stuff is still in its pre-video-clip form on stages throughout LA every night of the week. The LA Times recently reviewed many of these “offbeat” venues for sketch, stand-up, and improv (though some are pretty well known). The best part? None of these places have an absurd drink minimum. And some of the improv shows are free, which makes sense. Improv is often more fun to do than to watch, so zero dollars is probably the right price.

David Lynch and Jerry Rice sign your books


7 p.m. David Lynch will discuss and sign copies of his book, “Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity” tonight at Borders on 1360 Westwood Blvd.

7 p.m. Jerry Rice, former NFL wide receiver and contestant on “Dancing With the Stars,” will sign copies of his book, “Go Long! My Journey Beyond the Game and The Fame” tonight at EsoWon Books, 4331 Degnan Blvd. in Leimert Park.

7:05 p.m. David Lynch and Jerry Rice realize nobody reads books.

7:10 p.m. Jerry Rice signs David Lynch.

One year later p.m. Critics applaud David Lynch’s new film “Jerry Rice signs David Lynch.” Bill Pullman plays Jerry Rice.