The Creepy Beneath Your Feet: LA’s Lizard People

The first thing you need to know about the Lizard People is that they live under Los Angeles. Or, they did, at one time. Or maybe they live in space. I don’t really know. Actually, the second thing you need to know about the Lizard People is that, like most other paranormal New Age ephemera, every single scrap of information about them seems to contradict every other scrap of information about them. And whenever you try to read about them, your head starts to swim, like when you’re listening to the crazy guy on the bus, or the IT guy in your office who still wears his GOOGLE RON PAUL shirt.

Let’s back up a bit.

You may have heard about it, you may not have: There’s an old urban legend about humanoid reptiles living in caverns beneath Los Angeles. They do all the things that humans do — walk upright, use written language, change the station during NPR fund drives — but they’re lizards. Depending on which version you’re hearing, they either lived here long ago or they still live here now.

But the difference between this urban legend and most other urban legend is that there are still a whole bunch of people who think the Lizard People are real. Seriously; the web is lousy with them. While there’s nobody who fervently believes there’s a prison escapee out there whose prosthetic hook still dangles sadly from the car door handle belonging to some hapless, cockblocked varsity cornerback, the Lizard People have legions of devotees. Seriously. The internet is lousy with them. Look it up.

Of course, very little of the information on the Lizard People makes any sense. Some people believe they lived on Earth long before humans, in a lizard-shaped city in a cave under Los Angeles. Others believe they live in space and are waiting for the right moment to take over our planet and turn us all into livestock. Some believe they’re basically good guys; others believe they’re evil. Many people believe all of these things, simultaneously.

So I’m going to try to clear it up for everyone. In celebration of Halloween, I’ll be posting a little bit of Lizard Lore every day from now until the end of the month. There’s no shortage of information out there; the hardest part will be for me to choose what to write about. But by the end of October, I promise you, we’ll all be a little wiser.

Or, more likely, a little stupider.

4 thoughts on “The Creepy Beneath Your Feet: LA’s Lizard People”

  1. I don’t know if my father had ever read or heard about the lizards people now write and talk about as I wasn’t around much when he was (and vice versa).
    But when he was in a care home in Reno NV (he was in his 80s) he started telling my sister (who lived in Reno at the time) that he was very upset with the care he was receiving from the people in the place. My sister (who had known him better and visited often to make certain things went well) said when she visited him, he told her that all he had were the daily workers who often stole things (true, unfortunately) but the man in the next room had slave lizards, and he wanted to find out how to get his own slave lizards to take care of him.
    This story was recounted when we gathered after his death and everyone laughed, myself included. My father had had a very varied life, read extensively, fantastic memory and while he questioned everything he also questioned those who asked the questions. He was a very secretative man (we didn’t know how many mistresses he had until after his death) and when I was young I know he was a member of several clubs or associations of which my mother knew nothing (this was the 50s).
    My sister said she told him she didn’t know about slave lizards or how to get them, so he told her ‘nevermind’ and didn’t mention it again. The rest of the conversation was normal.
    From the little I’ve heard about the lizard people I somehow doubt that they would work in care/convalescent homes but like many things in my life, I’ve learned not to put it in a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ category but rather, append a question mark. Makes life more interesting. Of course it could b our entire family is crazy in a non-violent way. Who knows? Maybe one of your posts will cast new light on my father and slave lizards.

Comments are closed.