One thing you may not know about Canter’s is that there are phone jacks in the dividers between the booths. I have it on authority that if you bring in a phone and plug it in, you actually can connect directly to god.
I suspect the god in question is Jehovah not the Prince of Peace. Though Daniel tells me that at 3am, no one much cares. They’ll take a god, any god will do.
I’m thinking maybe we’ll have to have a talk with the big guy about the future of Metblogs. He may not be the right god for a Hail Mary, but he can probably pull some strings.