I Will, I Will Mock You

Public Eyebrow Groomer as seen on a Metro Bus
Public Eyebrow Groomer as seen on a Metro Bus

Since I began my adventures in public transportation earlier this year, I have seen a lot of rude, inappropriate and often strange behavior from my fellow carbon-based life forms. I have seen people carelessly put their shoes on bus seats.  I have seen someone leave a half-eaten sandwich on the floor of the train. I have seen a perfectly nice looking middle-aged woman forcibly push her way to the front of a line of people boarding a bus, just to be the first one on. I have shared personal space with people emitting body odors that would make a mortician gag. Yes my friends, I have been to hell and back and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

While annoying, I have grown to accept many of these acts of humanness as part of the deal when taking public transportation. Still, when I see something like today’s featured Metro rider, I can’t help but make a public mockery of it.

Today, while making my connection to the Metro Red Line, I sat across from this girl who was plucking her eyebrows. Maybe some of you think this is OK, but let me tell you, YOU ARE WRONG. Some personal grooming is acceptable on public transportation I would say. Like powdering your nose or putting on lipstick. However, anything involving body hair is an absolute disgusting DON’T. You wouldn’t shave your armpits on the bus, would you? Would she? I don’t know. Fortunately, I made my connection before I had to find out.

14 Replies to “I Will, I Will Mock You”

  1. This isn’t nearly as wrong, IMO, as public nail-clipping. Especially when the person doing the clipping just lets those little shards of nail carelessly fall to the ground. This behavior isn’t limited to just public transportation; I see it in my office all the freaking time.

    And yeah, someone like that probably *would* shave their pits on the bus.

  2. NYC Subway: Clipping fingernails! That’s Gross!!! I used to see/hear it all the time. They’d be flying around… I’d pray they wouldn’t fly on me. I would literally almost gag when I saw/heard it.

    Bad. Very Very Bad.

  3. I will say this; when you cant find time in the day to even make a sandwich, you try your hardest to make every minute count. I’ve written entire articles via my cellphone on the bus before. while that isnt gross or anything, some times you just have to find a way… Maybe I’m just desensitized since I’ve been bussing for 4 years now

  4. I think it’s just a bit more putrid when I see women filing their nasty filthy fingernails on a crowded bus or train, so that the air is filled with tiny filthy fingernail particles which everyone else must inhale. I’ve seen it numerous times, and it’s gag-inducing every time.

    I haven’t yet seen a bus-riding toenail-filer, but it’s only a matter of time.

  5. Some ugly things can’t be helped. One poor lady had her nose bone sticking out of her nose. Gross but she couldn’t help it or nothing could cover it…

    Yes there are some homeless that ride the bus. Blame the places that lock bathrooms these days, fewer and fewer places are available for the homeless to wash up once in a while.

    There are some women (and men)who have no bladder control. They also can’t help smelling like urine….

  6. red line a few years back. saw a dude with his shirt pulled up under his chin furiously picking away at scabs on his stomach. i wanted to throw up right there.

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