Parking ‘Tard or Not? You Make the Call

IMG_1669When is a parking ‘tard not a parking ‘tard?  This Chevy Avalanche was taking up two nice spaces in a West Side supermarket parking lot.  On foot, I snapped this picture before I noticed that the driver was inside.  As a result of seeing me, I think, the driver then started the engine and took off.

So, does that make him a parking ‘tard?  A standing ‘tard?  No ‘tard at all?  If my rudimentary photo software would have allowed me to black out the license plate, I would have done so unless and until a “guilty” verdict was reached.  What do you think?

14 Replies to “Parking ‘Tard or Not? You Make the Call”

  1. Dumbass parking tard who was busted. He’s guilty. You don’t honestly think, if a car passed by looking for a spot he’d move do you? He’d sit there and finish his text, or whatever.

  2. Why don’t you guys just drop the apostrophe and call them retards? Oh wait, that wouldn’t be nice or PC, but the apostrophe makes it all nicey-nice.

  3. I was all set to grant some minor level of leniency, claiming a true parking tard must not be touching any part of his or her vehicle, but Dave Share’s absolutely right.

  4. After this “avalanche” of comments, the verdict is in: a unanimous “guilty.” You can add my vote to the tally.

    As for using the term “parking douchebag” (or “douche” for short), that’s something we discussed in the comments to an earlier post, and it sounds good to me. As I mentioned, that term reflects the deliberate nature of the behavior. However, “parking ‘tard” is now so embedded in our collective consciousness, a veritable brand name, that it might be difficult to change at this point.

    But to commenter Retard, you don’t really think that, if the goal was to be PC, we’d be using the term “‘tard,” do you? Seriously? And then wouldn’t users of douche products (indeed, douche bags) consider the newly proposed term politically incorrect as well?

  5. Tard? Most definitely. But parking, there’s the rub. Wouldn’t want to let the douchebag off on a technicality. If the car is running but he’s sitting there taking up two spaces…Idling Tard? Linger Tard? Hm, just doesn’t have the ring. Oh F it. Total parking tard.

  6. Since the engine wasn’t running, the vehicle was in a parking lot as opposed to the street or in front of an entrance, and the driver didn’t appear to be picking up or dropping off passengers, then I think it would be considered parking. He should get a parking violation and a maggot on his sleeve. He’s a loser baby.

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