Last November, I wrote about the war between millionaire residents and yuppie fitness maniacs over Santa Monica’s Fourth Street stairs and nearby median, located at the picturesque intersection of Fourth Street and Adelaide Drive. This war of attrition seemed to have gone in the residents’ (who happen to include Councilman Bobby Shriver) favor, as they convinced the police to enforce restrictions on noise and athletic activities in front of their homes. Indeed, as The Argonaut reports in a recent article, “[t]he Santa Monica City Council voted unanimously Tuesday, April 7th, to request staff to review several recommendations intended to address resident complaints regarding usage of the median at Fourth Street and Adelaide Drive and nearby street stairs.”
However, the Santa Monica Yuppie Fitness Maniacs (“SMYFMs”) have struck back with some ideas of their own. Incredibly, one idea discussed at the Council meeting involved “the proposed construction of alternative recreational stairs leading from Palisades Park down to the beach.” One resident at the meeting, no doubt a SMYFM, “encouraged the council to consider the opportunity to create ‘world class exercise stairs’ from Palisades Park down toward the beach.”
“Alternative recreational stairs”? “World class exercise stairs”? Newsflash to the SMYFMs: stairs are designed to get people from a lower place to a higher place, or vice-versa. They’re not designed to keep you in shape. The people of Santa Monica should not be building new sets of stairs solely to subsidize your workout routines. If you want to climb steps to get in shape, join a gym, where the Stairmaster has a never-ending set of steps for you to climb. Or go to the Westside Pavillion and climb up the down escalator. Or go to Machu Picchu.
(Photo of Santa Monica Palisades by Matt Mason)