Save Taxpayers $328,301, Prevent Nationwide WTF!? Yes We Can!

OK, this may not be strictly Los Angeles-related, but it’s been chapping my hide since learning about 329,000 tax dollars that went into that panic-inducing bonehead-authorized photo-op of Air Force One’s low-flyover of Manhattan a couple days ago. And since there are taxpayers here in LA, go with me on this entirely frivolous attempt to save us all some money next time by introducing the White House Military Office and any other government agency about a little program called Photoshop (foe-toe-shahp) that can not only save about 99.967 percent of any future such taxpayer expense, but can also totally avoid idiots making really stupid decisions that end up scaring the fucking bejeebus out of civilians and shit.

Against my better judgment I’m going to assume that all the bureaucracts around the beltway have at least a passing awareness of The Google (gew-gull) and its pretty decent image library. So, crossing my fingers and hoping that’s indeed true, the first step is to get on an electronic device that accesses the internet (eeen-tar-net), such as a computer (cum-pew-tuhr) and search out the pictures that you’ll need — in this case lookeehere: one of the Statue of Liberty from the air and another of Air Force One from the air.

sol2 af1mr

It’s an amazingly simple process when approached from within an expanded noncomplex frame of reference (that’s interdepartmocratspeak for “easy-peazy”), but should difficulties be encountered, don’t panic: Al Gore (Al Gohr) is a self-ordained ready resource for online information and invention who could be and should be contacted in case of emergency.

After the jump, you know what’s next right? Yep, even with my rudimentary skills: clickably biggifiable, magic that cost NOTHING and freaks out exactly ZERO justifiably angst-ridden post 9/11 New Yorkers:


8 thoughts on “Save Taxpayers $328,301, Prevent Nationwide WTF!? Yes We Can!”

  1. Magic. Although, my guess is that even after dumbing it down this may be a bit much for the politicians (pawl-uh-tee-shuns) to handle.

  2. I agree the NY situation was ridiculous, but I disagree with that photoshopping a pic is any sort of ideal alternative:

    1. The money for these flights would have spent anyway. Not making it a photo op wouldn’t have necessarily saved taxpayers anything.

    2. If it had been photoshopped, people would complain about the government staging a fake. I really don’t want the government faking photos for any purpose whatsoever, even to sell postcards.

  3. Will, I agree, it’s friggen DUMB to fly a plane around to get a good picture in front of historic monuments when there are plenty of really good Photoshoppers out there. But I also think that it’s friggen dumb to see a low flying plane followed by a air force jet and immediately ASSUME it’s a terrorist plot.

    Terrorists 1,035,450
    Sanity 0

  4. Photoshop however is an interesting idea,but to explore it with a committee would cost us more than the stunt itself. Now you shoulda ‘shopped the plane into an LA skyscape and proven your point.

  5. Are you kidding? This is the government we’re talking about. By the time they’re done requesting special hack-proof high-security modifications to the software, that $700 program will cost at least $1,847,953.37. Give or take. Then they’ll have to requisition a special cross-platform, multi-departmental computer system to run it one, which will add another $20 million or so to the tab. Then you’ve got to figure on at least a couple years to find someone who can pass security clearance and doesn’t have any tax liability issues, not to mention training time on that highly-specialized government software.

    Trust me, once you get the government involved, that $328,000 is going to seem like a real bargain.

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