Washington, D.C. Can’t Even Build a Memorial Without Help from Los Angeles

img_14431The East Coast is so lame. The shitty Washington Post newspaper from the capital of the East Coast reports that D.C. couldn’t even design its own monument to another bald white guy, and had to pick Santa Monica’s own Ephraim Goldberg, a/k/a Frank Gehry, to do it.  Some don’t like Gehry’s work, but he belongs to us.  He moved to the Los Angeles area more than sixty years ago.  Suck on this monument, D.C.

Dwight Eisenhower.  Could you even make up a more bald white East Coast-sounding name?  And what did Dwight/Ike/White ever do, anyway?  Build a bunch of highways?  Great, we can thank him for the shitty traffic in L.A.  What else did he do?  Sign a civil rights law?  Two civil rights laws?  Big deal.  It’s not like Eisenhower freed the slaves or anything.  Now that would earn you a monument.

Washington, D.C.  They couldn’t even design their own city, they had to have a French guy do it.  And, they say Washington is Hollywood with ugly people.  It’s so true.  Just look at White Eisenhower if you don’t believe me.

6 thoughts on “Washington, D.C. Can’t Even Build a Memorial Without Help from Los Angeles”

  1. Matt, I love you. This is so good. It’s like chocolate with chili pepper. Ouchy and awesome.

  2. Lulu, Eisenhower is getting a memorial not for being born in TX, or even for being a general and leader of the Allied forces in WWII in Europe. As his own Memorial Commission website linked in the post indicates, he’s getting a memorial for being our Prez. For 8 years. In the White House. In Washington, DC.

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