7 Replies to “LADIES & GENTLEMEN, READY YOUR SPATULAE”

  1. Attended last year. This year, I want to compete! But, I want to compete as a team. If you’re interested, reply here. Thanks!
    -Jeff

  2. I went last year… there was way too many people there for the number of sandwich-making teams. It took, literally, over an hour for me and my two friends to get a quarter of a sandwich each.

  3. Jeff, I am so stoked you want to compete! As a former competitor & someone who has seen the blood, sweat & tears over the years (much of it my own–literally, there was blood three out of the three years I competed), I have some bits of advice for you:

    1. Pull a team together beforehand that will BE THERE that day & will actually help you & won’t bail on you.
    2. For the love of God, don’t care about it too much.
    3. Following up on #2, don’t spend a lot of money! Not for high-quality Tuscan prosciutto, not for decadent chestnut paste, not for rare cave-aged gruyuere handmade by monks & set to age in a cask under the sea for fifty years…YOU WILL LOSE! AND YOUR MONEY WILL BE ALL GONE! AND YOU WILL HATE EVERYONE FOREVER! So don’t spend money.
    4. Don’t rush, or you’ll end up like me staring in hypnotized horror as a giant chunk of your own flesh drops gaily into a pile of sliced apples beneath your mandoline slicer.
    5. Between the drunk, stoned crowd, the spazzy runners, you, your cooker’s variable heat and how close to vomiting the judges are, your chances at winning are really almost a crapshoot. Understand this. Embrace it.
    6. That said, some things are surefire crowd-pleasers: butter. Caramelized onions. Cheese that actually melts (a tip: grate it first). Mascarpone and chocolate. Boobs.
    7. Good luck, and go with God.

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