Adam Carolla dips toe into the Internets. Says, “I took a shit today.”

hammer_300When Howard Stern took his show to Sirius XM over three years ago, he left behind some mighty big shoes to fill.

And so far, nobody has been able to cram their feet into those delicate glass slippers.

Big shoes. Delicate glass slippers. Just pretend that works, okay?

Case in point? Last week’s demise of not only Stern replacement Adam Carolla’s radio program, but KLSX’s entire 97.1 FM Talk format. Without the “King of All Media” at its helm, the CBS station just couldn’t stay afloat.

Well, that, and the economy tanked.

In my opinion, the North Hollywood born-and-bred Carolla was always slumming it on that station anyway. As much as my half-Mexican skin crawls when he starts ranting about Los Angeles’ ethnic makeup, I find the guy incredibly sharp, immensely entertaining and far too talented to be waving the same flag as Tom “Dump that Bitch” Leykis.

So it’s with great interest that I downloaded Carolla’s first ever podcast this morning.

He spent the first half of his 37-minute solo “maiden voyage” doing a brief rundown on why he and KLSX general manager Jack Silver never saw eye-to-eye (he compared Silver to a beaver who only knows how to build dams), why he and Danny Bonaduce never worked as co-hosts (“I felt like I was an accomplice in a crime when we were talking to our listeners”), and how he hopes his experiment with podcasting not only helps fill a void for his fans (“I’d like to be that stick of nicotine gum on your long flight”) but can also lead to a place to personally connect with interesting people (“I’d rather have ten smart people than a billion retards listening to me”).

It was back to business as usual when halfway through the show he simply stated, “I took a shit today.” He then launched into a series of typical Carolla pontifications: How one out of every 155 of his bowel movements smell like somebody else’s; why TMZ shouldn’t be allowed to film C-list celebrities at airports; how all-terrain shoelaces can’t be tied into a bow; and how his dog Molly’s inexplicably nonchalant attitude towards cars and mortal fear of a hand-held vacuum cleaner (“You’d think I’d raped her with the Dustbuster”) is an apt metaphor for life.

So, based on this first show, am I ready to dump my Sirius XM subscription and go cold turkey on Baba Booey?

No, of course not.

But I’ll be downloading this show for sure. Downloading with extreme prejudice.

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