Water rationing on tap – 3 more things Los Angeles should ration

In spite of our recent rains, the L.A. Department of Water and Power is aiming to impose water rationing this May that would impose steep penalties on homes and businesses for excessive water use.

But why stop with water when rationing can be used to improve our quality of life in so many other ways? Here’s three of them:

1. Honking. Angelenos should be permitted use of their horns only once per 40 hours of actual road time. According to California Vehicle Code #27001: “The driver of a motor vehicle when reasonably necessary to insure safe operation shall give audible warning with his horn.” Meaning that every time someone honks out of impatience, or to hurry up a friend they’re picking, the law is being broken… but where are the penalties? I propose that LADOT require all vehicles ope to meter out horn usage and charge $20 for each honk that can’t be justified legally.

2. Elections. One every other year should be sufficient. Not three in a year… or, heck, two in a month. Besides last November’s Presidential election, on March 3rd the City of Los Angeles will be voting for Mayor and other local offices… and then on March 24th residents with the state’s 26th Senate District will have a primary election for the seat previously held by Mark Ridley Thomas… and May 19th will be the actual election for the senate seat. And we wonder why voter turnout for local elections is so low? Let’s save some taxpayer dollars, and interest, and only on the first Tuesday of Novembers of even numbered years (with exceptions for a primaries, run offs, and emergency replacements).

3. Valet parking. Maybe “regulating” is a better term, but some tighter controls need to be put on this shady service industry. For one, restrict valet stops from highly trafficked streets including Hollywood Blvd., La Cienega, and Franklin, and move them to side streets. During peak periods, even a short line of cars can quickly create massive gridlock. And one can only imagine the amount of additional city revenue could be generated if valets were required to be bonded or licensed. Zach Behrens, editor of LAist, tells me, “If you wanted, you can go be a valet  in 5 minutes. Just set up in front of a restaurant, it’s a public sidewalk afterall.”

Heck, we’re nearly in a depression, so we need all the rationing government can dish out. Any other ideas?

7 Replies to “Water rationing on tap – 3 more things Los Angeles should ration”

  1. How about talking loudly on cell phones indoors in places such as restaurants, waiting rooms, movie theaters (especially once the film has started!), etc? I’d get behind that one.

  2. Oh, that post was a softball.

    (1) Chrome. As in bling. On dubs.
    (2) Collagen. As in butt fat. In lips.
    (3) Silicone. As in pumpage. In breastages.
    (4) Gothic crosses. As in Affliction. On t-shirts.
    (5) Speeding followed by manic braking. As in rapidly approaching red lights. On city streets.

    I could go on, but I don’t want to be accused of hating.

  3. Film festivals and awards ceremonies.

    Awards. They do nothing but give out awards. I can’t believe it. Greatest fascist dictator, Adolf Hitler.

  4. Don’t stop there. Any the owner of any valet service shall serve one day in jail for each free parking space their valet fills on the streets of Los Angeles.

    If you are going to run a business don’t inconvience the rest of the public.

    And open up all the streets in Beverly Hills and elsewhere that are no parking all the time and have no cars parked there. We pay the taxes. Screw those people.

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