#8: With gay marriages will come gay divorces. Does our country need more divorces? Didn’t think so.
#7: Brad Pitt said he wouldn’t get married until marriage is available to everyone, meaning gays. Do gay men or straight woman want Pitt off the market? Didn’t think so.
#6: If being gay becomes more mainstream, there will be less need of closets. Do you really want closet manufacturers to be laid off? Didn’t think so.
#5: Gay marriage would apply pressure on more men to “commit.” Really, fellow men, do you want to encorage this sort of behavior? Didn’t think so.
#4: Married same sex couples will stop referring to themselves as cryptic “partners” and instead as “spouses.” Do you hate mysteries? Didn’t think so.
#3: The further mainstreaming of gay marriage will result in more movies like, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.” Do you hate America? Didn’t think so.
#2: Under Governor Mitt Romney, Massachusetts made gay marriage legal. Do you liberals want to be like Mitt Romney? Didn’t think so.
#1: More weddings, gay or otherwise = more wedding showers and wedding gifts. Do you really want to spend more time browsing wedding registeries at Pottery Barn for anything affordable besides something called a soup tureen? Didn’t think so.