Top 8 reasons to vote yea on Prop 8: Stop gay marriage!

#8: With gay marriages will come gay divorces. Does our country need more divorces? Didn’t think so.

#7: Brad Pitt said he wouldn’t get married until marriage is available to everyone, meaning gays. Do gay men or straight woman want Pitt off the market? Didn’t think so.

#6: If being gay becomes more mainstream, there will be less need of closets. Do you really want closet manufacturers to be laid off? Didn’t think so.

#5: Gay marriage would apply pressure on more men to “commit.” Really, fellow men, do you want to encorage this sort of behavior? Didn’t think so.

#4: Married same sex couples will stop referring to themselves as cryptic “partners” and instead as “spouses.” Do you hate mysteries? Didn’t think so.

#3: The further mainstreaming of gay marriage will result in more movies like, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.” Do you hate America? Didn’t think so.

#2: Under Governor Mitt Romney, Massachusetts made gay marriage legal. Do you liberals want to be like Mitt Romney? Didn’t think so.

#1: More weddings, gay or otherwise = more wedding showers and wedding gifts. Do you really want to spend more time browsing wedding registeries at Pottery Barn for anything affordable besides something called a soup tureen? Didn’t think so.

8 thoughts on “Top 8 reasons to vote yea on Prop 8: Stop gay marriage!”

  1. Gay couples wouldn’t be caught dead registering at Pottery Barn. Think Design Within Reach and Hermès.

  2. David don’t forget that it means more horrific bridesmaid dresses or tux rentals, too. Weddings don’t just mean gifts, they mean painful clothing. Band together to stop the horror!! ;)

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