There Be Bicycles Here

map.jpg

Yesterday, the Los Angeles Times published an article about the surge in bicycle commuters in the city. It’s a fine article and for those who haven’t read it, it’s about bicycle commuters. And how there’s a surge. But what’s cool about the article, aside from the spellbinding photo of bike repair in action, is they included the LA Metro map for cyclists in the article. I did not know this map existed. Check it out here.

Confusing? I should say so. Look at all those squiggly lines! But don’t fret. I’ll take a moment to help disambigu-fy things for you. Soon, you’ll be zipping around the city as if it were the back of your hand. Check out the legend after the jump.

gray.jpg White Lines: There are no bike lanes here. Cars rule. You will have to carry your bicycle or strap it to the roof of a passing car. Please ask for permission before doing so. No one likes a stowaway.
pink.jpg Pink Lines: LycraZones. Cyclists must wear kaleidoscopic, form-fitting outfits if any cycling through these corridors is to be attempted. These also denote a high density of coffee houses for stopping on Saturday mornings in lieu of actually biking anywhere.
Blue Lines Blue Lines: Drag racing corridors. Watch for illegal events. You’re likely to get plowed under. Also, triangles denote possible sniper turrets.
green.jpg Green Lines: No Stop Zones. Traffic lights have been installed along these routes, but they’re just for show. No one actually stops. Keep this in mind when cycling in these areas and try not to stop at red lights yourself–it makes you less predictable.
freeway.jpg Freeways: Bicycles allowed, though all riders must be actively filming their ride. There are CHP checkpoints at every onramp for enforcing this rule.
bus.jpg Bus: There are a few of these around. Don’t approach unless absolutely necessary. If the bus is on blocks, you may park your bike on the front convenience rack. Just ask the friendly man living inside for assistance.
info.jpg Information: Oh, man, you are SO lost.
dragons.jpg There Be Dragons Here.

10 Replies to “There Be Bicycles Here”

  1. You know all those green squiggly green lines representing Class IIIs, most likely indicated on-street by those BIKE ROUTE signs that might have seemed a good idea at the time back during the cold war when the only people who rode bikes were paperboys and circus clowns? Yeah, I effing HATE those things. It’s the equivalent of posting signs suggesting certain sections of air are available to breath.

    The whole city and every damn surface street is my bike route, baby!

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