Fireworks a Snoozer? Try a Bloodbath Instead.

Sure, we all know the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

But if you were actually fighting the Redcoats 232 years ago, guess what else that bright mortar fire would have revealed?

Blood, guts, brains, and body parts galore.

That’s right, kids. This country didn’t gain it’s independence by outperforming the British in Dance Dance Revolution.

Our freedom was won with bayonets, muskets, cannons, and good-old-fashioned fisticuffs.

Which means red-blooded Americans shouldn’t shy away from violent entertainment, but rather embrace it as a reminder of how our forefathers told King George to shove it.

Luckily for Angelenos, the Silent Movie Theater has the intestinal fortitude to give us exactly what we need.

Starting tonight at 10:00 p.m. and continuing every Saturday throughout July, the Cinefamily presents Holyfuckingshit: Gore Comedies, a series of four films so bloody they’d make the Overlook Hotel blush.

According to the Silent Movie Theater, these films are “so gory that they become hysterically absurd—and funny as all hell. You’ll be screaming with childlike glee watching these pillars of putrid entertainment.”

The series features Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) on July 5, Street Trash (1987) on July 12, Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive aka Brain Dead (1992) on July 19, and Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991) on July 26.

Consider watching these films your patriotic duty.

Image: Bruce Campbell and screaming woman in Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn.

And to complement this series, may I recommend catching The Happening while it’s still in the theaters?

No, it doesn’t feature Bruce Campbell running around with a chainsaw in place of his amputated hand (Evil Dead 2). Nor does it have an undead mother’s bloody ear falling into a bowl of custard (Dead Alive). Nevertheless, I say M. Knight Shyamalan’s latest film has to be an intentional gory comedy. And a damn good one at that.