After Four Days I Got A Woody!

I’m weird enough already in that I’m a middle-aged guy who bikes pretty much wherever and whenever I can. While most men my age are fixating on Harleys, I’m obsessing over hub options for a new wheelset I wanna build for my trusty singlespeeder that I’ve finally named: Le Noir . Yeah: oddball. To the nth. But when you factor in that I become progressively attached to things I find while pedaling around town that takes my strangeness to a whole new dimension.

woody1.jpg

I saw him first this past Monday on my way to work. He was face down on the asphalt where Alcott t-bones into Crescent Heights a block south of Pico. Even though he was pretty beat-up I recognized the plaid shirt sleeves, the vest, the blue pants, the cowboy boots, the empty holster. The only thing missing was his hat which little did I know apparently covers up his exposed brain.

I kept on riding. I saw him again the following morning and didn’t even break cadence, but now he was in my head and while pedaling homeward that evening I found myself seeking him out as I approached Pico. Sure enough, still there. Same thing Wednesday morning and evening. Finally this morning when I crossed Pico southbound and saw the mere speck in the road that was him I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to intervene. I had to come to the rescue. There was something just not right about him being lost another second.

woody2.jpgSo I stopped and snapped the above pic and then picked him up and jeez he’s in bad shape. His spurs had been crushed to nubs and his aquiline nose had a permanent upturn counterbalancing a right foot that was bent downward no doubt from being run over more than a few times. Nevertheless, the smile was still there and something of a twinkle in his one unblackened eye and so I started to put him unfortunately hatless in my pocket, and wouldn’t you know the first place I looked a few yards down the street, there it was. Having reunited him with his crucial accessory, I stashed him in my pack and got on with my commute feeling as silly as I was satisfied.

6 Replies to “After Four Days I Got A Woody!”

  1. Thanks for the great headline. I needed that laugh.
    If you really were that desperate for a woody we have a toy box full of those minatures that have not been used in years.

  2. Just don’t show it to my kid! He is crazy about that movie. We once saw a Buzz Lightyear toy at Target and it is a miracle we made it out of that aisle empty handed.

  3. Hey Will,

    I’m thinking about taking the biking plunge due to the gas prices and am gonna get a bike (though I live in S. Pas and work at Sunset Gower 8.6miles!!). I see bikers, especially around Scoops, with the single speed like your le noir. What’s the upside to that over the usual 10 speed?

  4. jscottamy,

    Good or you in considering biking to work.

    For me the main upside might be an esoteric one: the purity and simplicity of it all. From a dollar-sign perspective there’s definitely a benefit in that with a singlespeed bike there’s just less stuff to go wrong — no derailleurs, cables, shifters to break or need adjusting — but as my friend Manny says “gears are good!”

    And he’s right, especially if you are considering “taking the plunge” as you said (and certainly with a South Pas/Hollywood route that has a variety of elevation gain/loss).

    I loves me the singlespeeder stuff (not to be confused with fixed gear bikes, which are the very velo essence of purity and simplicity), but I would recommend you get a multi-speed bike that allows you to manage the route you’ll travel and grades you’ll encounter along the way with the most efficiency and least amount of discouragement.

  5. I laughed when I first saw your post because on Saturday I found this little guy in a Venice parking lot. As I kept reading, however, a horrible thought came to me: I left him behind!!

    I jumped on my bike (and by “bike” I mean “car”) to see if he was still there but I wasn’t as lucky as you were. Maybe I’ll put up some ‘lost’ signs and see what happens :)

    Godspeed my blue little headless, armless freak…Godspeed.

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