64 Worst Quarterfinals: Cost of Buying a House vs. Parking Tards


Back when times were simpler, Will Rogers recommended, “Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.”

These days we’re inching closer to making a frickin’ black hole, but we haven’t made a single dent in the creation of more land.

With the median price of a house in Los Angeles County currently at $440,000.00 and the average married couple bringing home $58,000.00 a year, is it any wonder that most Angelenos can’t afford to make the American Dream of home ownership a reality? In fact, many of L.A.’s poorest residents end up living with several families all under one roof, packed like sardines in a crushed tin box.

Yes, you heard it here first. The cost of housing in Los Angeles sucks.

But so do parking tards.

You know parking tards, right? They’re those palookas that for reasons unknown—perhaps a deep-seated anger towards the housing market?—feel it’s their God-given right to plant their vehicle on the street any way they damn well please.

Spotting parking tards is a favorite pastime here at L.A. Metblogs. Eagle-eyed authors have discovered that P-tards sometimes travel in three; sometimes they’re idiot savants; and sometimes their unscrupulous behavior can make even the most refined among us utter the single most offensive word ever devised by man.

Which is worse:

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
…poll closes Saturday evening…

Photo of Silver Lake’s Occidental Apartments, courtesy of you-are-here.com.

*** Bonus: Archival photography of history’s most famous parking tard.

8 thoughts on “64 Worst Quarterfinals: Cost of Buying a House vs. Parking Tards”

  1. Aw shucks, I’m torn. I’ll have to wait until the comment debate starts and then make a decision.

    For me, it might come down to a matter of timing and expectations: parking tards inconvenience you for a few minutes, possibly more. The swell of shock and anger one feels for an act of parking tard-ness is a lot more acute than over owning property. But not being able to own a house ever is more long-term and overall more damaging.

    But then again, that all rests on assuming it is our God-given (or at least capitalism-given) right to own property. I can see reasons why that is not the case, but it is depressing as hell to keep forking over 50% of one’s salary to pay someone who reaps all the tax benefits and still won’t let you hang pictures on the wall.

  2. Give it another year and they’ll be giving houses away. 2009 – 2010 median price back down into the mid 200,000’s. Anyone who says different is in the housing industry and trying to rip you off.

  3. Can we please retire the platitude that “owning a home is a part of the American Dream?” Or how about never invoking “the American Dream” at all. We aren’t living in the 1950s anymore. It’s a meaningless phrase today, more cultural intimidation, if not agitprop, than anything else.

    I guess I’ve never been one for pack mentality.

  4. Bromike in my ‘hood prices have stabilized. My wife works at HSBC and they think our bottom will hit later this year. My friend is a loan broker and he things the end of the year. The IE is an exception, as is the modesto/stockton area that are impacted by huge inventory of foreclosures but even that will peak later this year.

    If your prediction is correct then suddenly we have affordable housing stock all over the place and then parking tards should win.

  5. Frazgo, if you or any bank, broker, lender or seller think that by years end a regular family will be able to afford a average house using traditional financing (20% down and 6-7% interest for 30 years) I’d like some of what they are smoking.

    Todays $440,000.00 median housing price = you need $88,000 + closing costs. On average how many people do you know with $88,000.00 in cash that they can put as a down payment? It’s either that or use some more of that creative financing that got us into that mess.

    This all reminds me of a certain stock market bubble. And how long did it take to get to the very bottom of that ride? How many people predicted the bottom only to watch it drop another 5-10-20-30-50%.

    Stabilized for now because people still have hope that theres a bigger sucker than themselves. Hell,not even the bottom feeder real estate speculators are buying yet. When they start snatching up property you know we’ve hit bottom.

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