64 Worst: Curb sneakers vs. LADWP’s Festival of Lights


Curb sneakers, noun
1. drivers who speed into the right turn lane at a red lights, then cut back into traffic when the light turns green ahead of the rest of us suckers.
2. bastards, assholes, scumbag alpha males

LADWP’s Festival of Lights, noun
1. the tackiest holiday display in the city
2. annual car only event billing itself as “eager-to-green” while marked by miles long lines of idling, emissions spitting vehicles, moving through at a snails pace while forbidding pedestrian foot traffic and providing only one bike only night per year.

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11 thoughts on “64 Worst: Curb sneakers vs. LADWP’s Festival of Lights”

  1. Curb sneakers are douchebags. I like to pull up next to them at the next red light and wave. Wow, bro. You beat me to the light. You must rule on some whole other level.

  2. Saw a median-sneaker yesterday: Two lanes of traffic moving down LaBrea from Franklin toward Hollywood, and this lunatic in a slammed civic comes screaming out on our left, down the empty lanes of oncoming traffic, then back into the correct lanes to blow through the intersection we were all approaching. Phenomenal. I guess it’s his racecourse and we’re just bumbling around on it.

  3. This one was a tough one for me, as I used to live off of Los Feliz Blvd, and the Festival of Lights traffic made getting to my neighborhood a living hell. (That is, when the masses of Toys R Us and Costco shoppers didn’t)

  4. I take them off the line and make sure they have no way of getting in front of me. It’s either get your ass behind me or hit the parked car. Then I get slapped and yelled at by my girlfriend for being a “slightly less ass then them.”

    It’s so worth it!

  5. I hate those curb sneaking douchebags.

    FYI (and not meaning to be a douchebag myself,) traffic lanes are numbered left-to-right, so the #1 lane would be next to the left turn lane.

  6. Another odd thing I noticed about the festival of lights last year:

    Nearly all the displays contain a blatant animated phallic symbol.

    For example: Santa riding a canon. Elves erecting a flag pole. Santa launching fireworks from an erect tube.

    etc. etc.

    Once you start noticing this, you can’t ignore it. They just keep coming! So to speak…

  7. Once on Robertson south of Pico, this curb sneaker in a Range Rover sped around me. I’m normally somewhat of a passive-agressive driver, so I try to make sure they can’t get back in, but I didn’t do anything to box the guy in or impede him, but he still got stuck because there were parked cars in front of him and I didn’t let him in. He laid on his horn, I turned to give him a “what the fuck’s your problem?” look, and he rolled his window down and started yelling. Because of traffic, we were both stuck, then he opened his door, got out, and started pounding on my hood. I was really nervous, but thankfully the light changed, and I took off. I really hoped that I would run over his foot, but sadly he remained unharmed.

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