64 Things I Hate About You

Help nominate the worst this city has to offer.

Damn you, Los Angeles Magazine. Your concept for a tournament style competition to decide the one greatest thing about Los Angeles is freakin’ brilliant. Or, at the very least, brilliant in a bloggy sort of way. (see L.A. Observed for a summary of the project.)

In short, I’m jealous I didn’t think of it first. So, I’m stealing the idea. Well, for the most part. And making it a little bit bloggier: instead of the best, we’re going to nail down The 64 Worst Things About Los Angeles.

64worst.jpgI’m thinking “the paparazzi,” or “Pinkberry,” or “LADOT,” or “drivers who try and turn left out of corner gas stations or strip malls, in spite of frustrated cross traffic trying to make it through the light signal.”

Once we’ve assembled a list of proper length (I like to call it the “shit list”), we’ll reveal it to the public through a series of polls that will determine the lesser of evils, and narrow down the worst of the worst, until only one thing can be claimed to be “the worst thing about L.A.”

Yeah, just like Los Angeles Magazine does for the greatest, but without the expense account. And the winner/loser will be determined much, much sooner (LA Mag won’t reveal their greatest until the August issue hits newsstands).

So, readers, let us know what you think: what are the worst things about Los Angeles? The worst restaurants, the worst streets, the worst celebrities or pseudo celebrities, or even the worst kind of people in the city (we’re brainstorming here – think outside of the octagonal box).

75 thoughts on “64 Things I Hate About You”

  1. “Worst restaurants”…well maybe 15 or so years ago we weren’t know for great restaurants, but we are now getting the reputation for being one of the great foody destinations now. I can’t wait to see what the readers nominate as the worst.

  2. 1. Overzealous parking enforcement that mercilessly doles out $50 tickets making it virtually impossible in some areas to live or shop.
    2. Unfair and unnecessary traffic tickets where the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. Running a red = $420.
    3. The abrasive, humorless and overall angry LAPD. Not a pleasant one in the bunch.
    4. People who dump their furniture and household belongings on the curb and watch as it disintegrates over many months.
    5. The closure of Griffith Park for over 10 months while the city claims it is fortifying it against mud slides (is it?).
    6. The disgusting and relentless pursuit of Britney Spears by the paparazzi.

  3. 1. little armenia aka little assholenia
    2. the indefinite griffith park closure — why does ONLY lablonge get to hike there EVERY MORNING!!!
    3. very few left hand turn signals
    4. extremely short left hand turn signals when there actually is one
    5. the entire film industry
    6. so called “screenwriters” at coffee shops
    7. name droppers
    8. traffic of course
    9. over crowded crappy gyms w/ crappier, outdated equipment
    10. LAPD
    11. celebrity wanna-be newscasters
    12. sam ruben
    13. juno
    14. wealthy and extemely wealthy people fighting over contracts
    15. the oscars
    16. all celebrity awards shows
    17. britney spears
    18. dr. phil the media whore
    19. rob fukuzaki
    20. the lakers
    21. kobe bryant
    22. cycling zealots
    23. blogging.la aka the me, me, me blog
    24. cycling zealots demanding equality but refuse to obey traffic laws
    25. jons check out lines(@ vermont & hollywood)
    26. retards w/ more than ten items in the quick check out line
    27. retard drivers that honk or flip you off after they cut you off or almost drive into you, causing an accident
    28. uninsured drivers
    29. morons who don’t realize the sidewalk is just like the road and walk right towards you, forcing you to knock them over or jump out of the way. WHAT ON THE RIGHT RETARD!
    30. fred 62s
    31. USC
    32. LA sports fans and their gay little flags on their cars
    33. the armenian genocide march
    34. people that park their cars and take up two street spaces
    35. assholes that block street parking spaces with their trash barrels but not their own driveways. you know it is illegal to put your barrels out before 6pm
    36. film fanatics
    37. loud and annoying cell phone talkers in any setting
    38. CHECK WRITERS in grocery lines
    39. BRADLEY from the glassell park city council
    40. red light cameras. they increase traffic accidents!
    41. parking enforcement
    42. no subway system
    43. tom lablonge’s maximum density plan. this is not new york! there isn’t a subway system!!!
    44. the entire green movement which is just another revenue driven marketing scheme
    45. the santa monica and western intersection
    46. weekly movie premieres, which increase as well as cause traffic
    47. politicians, al la antonio, pushing for people to take the bus even though it doubles your commute time
    48. extremely high gas prices
    49. douchebags in tricked out dodge neons
    50. cops and people not knowing photographers’ rights
    51. a 1 hour or more drive to santa monica from hollywood when it’s only 16 miles away
    52. pinks hotdogs — it’s overrated
    53. asshole bus drivers who blow red lights and cut you off from the right lane. however, if they honk their horn it’s okay.
    54. scooby’s
    55. shady politicos
    56. asshole prius drivers who think they own the road
    57. the LA drainage pool, oh I mean river
    58. people who can’t drive in the rain
    59. retarded drivers who end up in the LA river, with their cars, when it’s raining
    60. glendale galleria…technically not LA
    61. people and their aggressive dogs at dog parks. why do that?
    62. feral cats as well all domestic cat owners
    63. slumlords
    64. valley parking everywhere, including the shittiest mall or restaurant you’ve ever seen

  4. Discarted, Glendale and the other burgs count as “LA” as this is METROblogging. My two shiny bits on your great list.

    Not that its an LA thing, but my favorite pet peeve is the deletion of the “cent” key…something my typewriters had and need several times a week.

  5. (Hey Fraz, on my keyboard/computer you can find it with the alt (or option) button and the 4 key.)

    Discarted, you crack me up. I think you are the human equivalent of the Angriest Dog In The World. More power to you.

  6. — the hyper seclusivity of long-time residents especially those who add -adjacent to describe their neighborhood.

    — the beach should be closer to to downtown.

    — Time/Warner cable internet service

    — general lack of things to complain about (the traffic isn’t THAT bad; below 70 degrees doesn’t mean cold and above 80 doesn’t mean hot people).

  7. 1. People who rely on mirrors when changing lanes. LOOK OVER YOUR F’ING SHOULDER IDIOTS!
    2-64. People who don’t pull out into the intersection when making a left hand turn.

  8. I think Discarted forgot “65. Everybody and everything in the whole damn world, including myself.”

    Anyway, my votes go to:

    1. Idiots who mob outside of trendy breakfast places (Toast, The Griddle, you name it) for hours on weekends.

    2. The current trash pickup system, where trucks can only access the plastic garbage containers if they’re placed ON THE STREET, thereby drastically reducing available parking in many neighborhoods on trash day.

    3. Weekly street sweeping, a thinly veiled ruse to fatten the city’s coffers with parking ticket fees.

    4. The Whole Foods parking lot on Fairfax and Santa Monica.

    A parking-centric list, to be sure.

  9. –Uggs
    –American Apparel
    –American Apparel ads
    –That the Gold Line doesn’t have a Dodger Stadium stop
    –Downtown’s inferiority complex and New York envy
    –Pinkberry–it’s not real yogurt, so what the hell are you lining up to paying $6 for?
    –The Grove
    –The LA Times

  10. More I thought of after I hit Post:

    –Ruth Seymour insisting on being on the radio during KCRW pledge drives
    –Eric Garcetti worship
    –People that brag about never going east of the 405
    –People that brag about never going west of the 405
    –The death of independent music stores not named Amoeba
    –The death of independent bookstores
    –Harassing bacon-wrapped hot dog vendors

  11. Discarted – absolutely fanTASTIC list. FWIW, you can now get into parts of Griffith Park – try the fire road at the top of Commonwealth Canyon.

  12. What no mention of the ‘homeless’ in Brentwood – the ones who spend $150 at the Cheesecake Factory once a week at the bar.

  13. I’m shocked no one has mentioned the stop lights on highway on-ramps until me. It’s the single most retarded thing I’ve ever seen on a highway in my life, and I’ve driven through about 30 states.

    I’ve spent countless hours of my life driving around this sprawling, trash-laden Mexico City Jr. and I have NEVER observed a positive consequence from these stop lights. However, I have seen many examples of how it actually congests traffic even more. When you have an on-ramp or a turn lane that’s no wider nor longer than the average residential driveway to begin with, cram 50 cars onto it, and make them come to a complete stop what do you expect? Ah, of course, city planners, you’re right…smoother traffic flow. Genius. You all deserve engineering medals. And it also adds the additional benefit of having to floor the gas to get up to speed, because you know, YOU’RE MERGING ONTO A HIGHWAY, and swerve to avoid the jackass blowing by straddling two-lanes going 80 while texting on his phone.

    I hate people.

  14. 1.) Slow freeway drivers in the left lane. LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY.
    2.) Smog
    3.) Idiot motorcyclists who rev up their bikes at 3am in a residential area
    4.) LA racial tension
    5.) Guns (i heard 94% of angelenos own guns)
    6.) Drivers who block intersections. NEVER BLOCK AN INTERSECTION, DUMBASS.
    7.) Pink’s Hotdogs
    8.) Plastic sugery

  15. I thought of something else…that faux-italian construction aesthetic they use to denote that new apartment and condo developments are classy and expensive.

    Also, people who go to Le Doux.

    And anyone who can’t stand in line somewhere for more than 49 seconds without playing on his/her phone. It drives me crazy.

    As a corollary to that one – I work in the entertainment industry, and I’ve noticed that when people become executives or higher-level producers something happens where they feel compelled to always be playing on their phone. I went to a lunch once with some co-workers and there was one executive with us. We sat down, were making small talk – about 2 minutes into it the executive took out her phone to send a text or an email and then a few seconds later the phone rang and she got up to go take the call. I’m pretty sure she messaged someone to tell them to call her so that she could get up and leave the table to talk on the phone.

    What the hell is going on?

  16. 1. Pinkberry – like sour, weak ice cream.
    2. American Apparel
    3. No transit access to Dodger Stadium
    4. Traffic
    5. People who assume L.A. = the entertainment industry.
    6. Housing prices
    7. People whose entire world runs from Silverlake to Santa Monica and who consider anything outside of that the boonies. When writing restaurant reviews of something outside that zone, they talk about whether you should feel like taking the drive out there. Well, what about those of us who *do* live out there and want to know if it’s worth the drive to go to some crappy place on Santa Monica Blvd.?
    8. The smog is really much better than it was 20-30 years ago.
    9. I won’t vote for the paparazzi because I don’t eat at the Ivy and I’m not Britney Spears so they don’t have any impact on my life.
    10. It takes decades to get a Metro rail line built.
    11. Graffiti
    12. Lack of parks and other green space.
    13. Segregation
    14. Gang violence
    15. Poverty
    16. Serial killers
    17. Santa Ana winds
    18. Too damn sunny all the time. I want more rain.

  17. The lack of bars where the main idea is to go sit with your buddies, have a few beers, watch sports, and maybe play some darts.

  18. 1. The 110 freeway, especially northbound at night
    2. The paparazzi chasing anyone, especially when the paparazzi are in cars
    3. The Whole Foods parking lot at Third and Fairfax
    4. Santa Ana winds
    5. Segregation
    6. the South Bay’s superiority complex, especially Manhattan Beach and Palos Verdes
    7. New residential construction that pretends to be from some foreign country. Faux mediterranean, faux villas are the worst
    8. Any new construction with turrets
    9. Pinkberry
    10. Too many chains. I really don’t need another Gap or Starbucks, thank you very much.
    11. Tom Cruise
    12. Telemundo’s delayed response to ethical issues
    13. People who tailgate in bumper to bumper traffic. Do you really think you’re going to be able to go faster?
    14. Trophy wives
    15. The closure of Dutton’s in Brentwood
    16. Hollywood and Highland (aka the Temple of Doom)
    17. Dr. Phil (he is such a hypocrite)
    18. Any and all local newscasters
    19. Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin
    20. Kobe Bryant

  19. Some of the lists above are great. Some…well, that brings me to my list:

    1) Los Angeles has more than it’s share of angry, impatient, intolerant people who are convinced that they are more important, more intelligent, and in a bigger hurry than anyone else — and these people will loudly and righteously inform anyone they perceive as “in their way” of same. Curiously, few of these people are actually *from* here.

    2) I hate that my dogs have to go to Long Beach or Orange County to get some leash-free beach time. And the dog parks? Filled with people who have no control or concern with their dog’s behavior.

    3) There’s no train to LAX. Fly-Away is better than driving, but even the Fly-Away bus gets stuck in traffic. C’mon, LA…New York, Chicago, Atlanta, and even San Francisco has a train to the airport.

    4) the 110 between downtown and Pasadena. It’s pretty, but the blind curves are dangerous, and at the on-ramps, you are essentially making a right turn into freeway-speed traffic from a dead stop. I read somewhere (it might have been blogging.la, actually) that the 110 is the second-oldest freeway in America. And it shows.

    You, know, my short list aside… I love living here. Every place can use improvement, but I’ve been to 47 of the 50 states, and there aren’t many places better than here.

  20. People who can’t mow their own lawns, wash their own cars, paint, or do basic maintenance and repairs to their own property.

  21. 1) Smog
    2) Producers
    3) Dating actors/actresses
    4) Being so close to Orange County
    5) The 405
    6) Every friggin party discussion being about real estate. Remember when all anyone talked about was Quentin Tarantino? They both suck, people!
    7) Fires
    8) Plastic surgery victims
    9) Watching Kevin Spacey utterly cringe as his boyfriend demands a table at Fred 62, even though there’s a 45 minute wait, by screaming “Do you know who this is?” Just had to tell someone that story. Sorts of speaks to alot of sucky LA in general. Call it “celebrity gladhanding.” p.s. He didn’t get early seating.
    10) Paris Hilton. (If she don’t win, I don’t believe in polls anymore)

  22. More:
    19. Scientology
    20. The piss-poor state of local TV news
    21. LAX
    22. South Pasadena holding up the completion of the 710 for the last 45 years
    23. The fact that we have so many grand old movie theatres that are lying fallow and decrepit.
    24. No decent seaside amusement parks. Pacific Park at the Santa Monica Pier sucks. I wish we still had Pacific Ocean park in Venice and the Pike in Long Beach.
    25. The County Board of Supervisors

  23. 1. People who water their sidewalks, driveways, and streets.
    2. On ramp traffic lights
    3. Assholes who tell me to “Get a car, bitch” when I’m riding my bike.
    4. No train to LAX
    5. McMansions.

  24. 1. People who have moved here then complain constantly
    about L.A. (Get Out then! We need your parking space!)
    2. People who complain about traffic/parking tickets yet
    seem to forget they would not have this problem if they weren’t
    so STUPID.
    3. People who complain about L.A. by listing problems that are
    not solely inherent to L.A.
    4. Guilty liberals who give the homeless money
    5. Stupid dog owners
    6. Coffee store addicts
    7. Tunnel vision drivers blind to the concept of alternate routs,
    or get off the fwy and take some streets.
    8. Black people feeling threatend anytime anyone is speaking
    in Asian or Spanish.
    9. Graffitti/tagging is done mainly by hispanics (to the detriment of Hispanic image/reputation)) I wish to see more Thai, Korean
    or Lithuanian graffitti so that Hispanics don’t look like the biggest a-holes.
    10. All buses, trucks and BMWs.
    11. People who blame the police for their problems.
    their people)

  25. –Home prices
    –Rent prices
    –WestsideRentals.com
    –Scientology/ists
    –Bandwagon Galaxy fans that can’t name a single player other than David Beckham
    –Live 7000 Mega HD Doppler Supercalifragilisticexplialidocious

  26. Bert–I love the old part of the 110, the Arroyo Parkway. I like that it shows its age, and that it was built for cars that were travelling much more slowly. It has character.

  27. 1. People who aren’t from LA, who think they define LA. Leave your small town idealism back in whatever boring place you came from. Some people don’t come here to “make it.” People actually try to live normal lives here so stop annoying us.
    2. Anyone “aspiring.” You’re have a loser service job so deal with it. You should have gone to law school like grandma said. Now if you’re pulling down six figures and don’t have to work 9-5, you have my respect. If you’re not, you need to get a real job you loser, or kill yourself.
    3. Not enough cops but more and more ridiculous laws getting passed all the time. There are no cops in LA. The good news is you can do whatever you want. The bad news is other people can do whatever they want. If you get hassled by the LAPD, you must really deserve it.
    4. Inconsiderate, inattentive drivers who get angry at you for honking at them. It’s not my fault you’re an idiot. Get off the phone and pay attention. Driving is dangerous.
    5. People who drive, in order of offensiveness: hybrids, minivans, Volvos, buses, and smoke-spewing jalopies. The gas pedal is the one on the right. Use it.
    6. People who park in other people’s reserved spots. Hello! You’re having a problem finding parking in my neighborhood? What part about “No Parking” don’t you understand? What about the person that lives or works here whose spot you are parking in? And then you get mad at me for telling you to move?
    6. Neighborhood Councils, the City Council, and the Mayor. Power tripping scumbags, every single one of them. The only thing sleazier than national politics, is local politics.
    7. Environmental zealots (including biker zealots, alternative fuel freaks, and animal activists) – I respect what you are doing and will not try to force my values on you. Please give me the same respect. And bikers – when you run that read and get killed by a 2 ton car, it’s your own damn fault.

    I could go on forever. I’ve lived here almost 40 years and things are not getting better, that’s for sure. Now, if I could only find somewhere with great weather where there is a demand for my profession. Darn, there is nowhere else.

  28. The worst thing about Los Angeles is, without a doubt, people who move here from other places. If you were not born in Los Angeles County, you are what makes living in the city, at times, unbearable. You are the ones who can’t drive in the rain. You are also the ones going to Pinkberry, shopping at Whole Foods and the Grove, turning once-cool places to poopy havens for agent-assistants, and make turning left akin to…Dammit, I can’t think of a good analogy, but it would be real, real bad. Then, to top it all off, you have the nerve to complain about it.

    The smog has gotten better, though.

  29. I definitely agree with Rudy that the smog has gotten better since I was a kid. Markedly. I don’t get the stabbing in the lungs feeling on August afternoons like I used to in the 70s and 80s.

    I think you can describe the biggest annoyance in LA, as “self-importance.”

    So many people here are not content with just being themselves. They have to try to be a grandiose version of themselves, and that version is usually a jerk. If you want to be famous, there is probably something wrong with you.

    Why can’t we all get along and respect our differences?

    Or how about, just leave me the hell alone? Don’t mess with me and I won’t mess with you. Don’t cut me off, park in my spot, graffiti on my wall, break into my car, force me to get my dog neutered, legislate me how much rent I can charge, tell me to ride a bike or take public transport.

    I think the Golden Rule has been banned in Los Angeles. We need to bring it back.

  30. New Yorkers who move here. Take your attitudes and move back to the ‘greatest city in the world’TM.

    The Manhattanization of LA. Don’t need residential towers, greater density or subways. Also the ever increasing obsession with wealth and status.

  31. “legislate me how much rent I can charge”

    Yes, because rent is downright criminally low…(rolls eyes)

  32. The fact that it is nearly impossible to make a left turn in this city, even when there are left turn signals as they only last about 3 seconds.

    Bus drivers who block the intersection…look, I expect that the asshole in the Hummer with the Starbucks and the cell phone isn’t going to pay attention and is going to pull into the intersection when he won’t fit in the traffic on the other side, but YOU Mr or Ms Bus Driver are supposed to be a PROFESSIONAL driver who DOES pay attention to little things like that.

    KFWB. Although I continue to listen for the comedy value. When the UN reports that worldwide cereal stockpiles are dwindling, they are NOT TALKING ABOUT CHEERIOS you moron announcer lady.

Comments are closed.