DOOM Doom Doom Doomie Doom Doom!

OMG! It’s, like, 7:50am and still no sign of our watery doom from above!

I’d like to personally congratulate the big-media outlets here in town for handily panicking every single person I spoke to between the hours of 4 and 11pm yesterday: a total of approx. 12 individuals, from the dude at the gas station to my boss to my dear old dad and my friends, all of whom regaled me with tales of impending states of emergency and certain citywide chaos. Although you may all have to apologize to the advertising clients who bought into your “Stormwatch!”, since said “storms” are not causing the widespread panic on which you banked.

It’s true there are three fronts out there, according to my geeky weather radio, but jeebus people, calm the hell down. It’s called weather! Sometimes I think it’s not just the media, but also our increasingly detached state of modern life–safely contained in our sealed environments–that cause us to panic when we experience the sensation of living in a natural environment. And remember, when water DOES fall from the sky, don’t drive too fast or too geriatrically, but rather try to maintain reasonable speeds in your vehicle: in rain and snow it’s changes in speed–quick braking, too-fast lane changes, taking turns too fast–that cause people to lose control.

But don’t panic or anything [wink].

5 Replies to “DOOM Doom Doom Doomie Doom Doom!”

  1. Wait! There’s a storm coming? Three of them?!
    Why wasn’t I informed? Why doesn’t the weather ever make it to the top of digg?! Quick, I need some bottled water!

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