Hi from Vienna. Please go away.

Um... ?

Oh Hai Evree1! If you are wondering about why I haven’t been writing to you every day detailing my countless trips to assorted coffee shops and late night cycling adventures it’s because I’m actually living in Vienna for 2 months (here’s pics!) and instead have been wandering the streets of Austria looking for Kangaroos, Crocodiles and Paul Hogan, sadly to no avail. I’ve also been blogging there about who they reserve train seats for and their cool local holidays. However I guess there is some kind of tussle going on back in LA and I’ve spent the last 3 minutes and 24 seconds trying to see what the hubub is about. I was hoping to provide a detailed analysis of the situation but instead I got bored and went out for a vegan strudel.

While I was out, I was thinking about ways we could reduce the traffic here at blogging.la because frankly it’s really the last thing I ever want to think about and if we could work together and get our daily pageviews down to zero that would be a good way for us to never have to think about it again, and that would be awesome. I really believe in the team here and know if we put our minds to it there’s nothing we can’t do. So, that said, I’ve made a list of a few things we can do to help bring those numbers down to a more manageable level. It’s just the first 15 that came to my mind while trying to figure out how to pronounce a street name that was a string of 28 consonants with a few umlauts thrown in there for good measure.

1 If we wrote fewer posts about biking in LA
2 If we wrote fewer posts about yummy food in LA
3 If we wrote fewer posts about LA history
4 If we wrote fewer posts about art in LA
5 If we wrote fewer posts about something we saw in LA
6 If we wrote fewer posts about people in LA who park like idiots
7 If we wrote fewer posts about what what flavors Scoops is serving today
8 If we wrote fewer posts about the Arclight
9 If we wrote fewer posts about cool things going on in LA
10 If we wrote fewer posts about bands playing in LA
11 If we wrote fewer posts about the LAUSD
12 If we wrote fewer posts about street closings in LA
13 If we wrote fewer posts about crafts in LA
14 If we wrote fewer posts about the Eastside of LA
15 If we wrote more posts about lemonade consumption.

Basically any single thing we’ve ever written that someone came here for, if we wrote less of it, they’d come here less, and that would lower our traffic which would rock. What do you all think? Can we pull this off? Any suggestions on more ways we can get people to stop coming to our site would be greatly appreciated.

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12 Replies to “Hi from Vienna. Please go away.”

  1. While all those posts are good, there’s also a large number of posts about how the author was eating, biking, or whatever and someone else (not as cool, not as smart, not as hip) came along and ruined it by talking, smoking, driving an SUV, wearing the wrong shoes, etc.

    And sometimes your informational posts , like LA history or “new” places”, are either painfully obvious or so well-known as to render the posts useless.

  2. And yet, strangely, you’ve continued to read us (and troll) for years! I admire the amount of dedication it takes to be so committed to something you find so unpleasant.

    As for your second point, that mind set is a bit self absorbed. One person’s “obvious” and “well known” is another person’s “never heard of it.” If I refrained from posting about something that I was afraid other people might already know about, or know more about, I’d never post at all.

  3. OMG, I can’t believe you left me and my painfully boring mommy blogging out!!! I can only assume from my glaring omission on this list that you want me to write MORE about being a parent in LA. Maybe we can change the URL to babyblogging.la and embed a midi file of an infant squawling? That would be awesome. And squawling is probably not even a word! Can we lower traffic by making up fewer words? Awesome! I mean RadAss!

  4. More concert reviews of bands I’ve never heard of!

    My favorite type of blog is one that chronicles things that have already happened in a city near me, thereby rendering the information useless. (i.e. “I went to a Shitbags concert at the Echo last night and they totaaally rocked! You should have been there!!! If you weren’t, you’re a loser. Check out my flickr page for pics.”)

    Zzzzzzzz

  5. At the risk of feeding a troll I’ll toss in my pennies.

    I read this blog long before I was asked to contribute. Why? Because a friend referred me here and its actually interesting. It’s not the world news but its real people sharing what they find and feel is great about LA.

    Just because you think everyone knows or painfully obvious due to the circle you run in doesn’t mean another couple million people didn’t.
    To single out a few….

    El Chavo, I salute you in this very public forum for bringing so much of the East LA no one knows much about. I’m a bit peeved you didn’t stop in when you were in my little ‘hood in Far Far East LA, but I forgive you.

    Lucinda thanks for all the house posts in the Valley, really they were nice reminders of the people who live here, more specifically in the Valley. Travis you had your bits too.

    Ruth666 old pal you document so well the indulgent stuff this city thrives on though they like to pretend they don’t while rallying for affordable housing. Who’s fooling who here? At least you toss it up as it is.

    Will your biking articles are entertaining not so much for the way you write about the biking as transportation, but the entire riding for fun and the cool stuff you see. Thanks.

    A lot goes on besides contest give-aways and band reviews. It’s more than Sean’s 15 that makes B.la what it is, its people sharing what the city is about with their own view that makes it special.

  6. Obviously, I need to start more gothblogging. And more wedding blogging. Those didn’t make Sean’s list either.

  7. I’m a big believer in the print media, but if I want to know what’s going on in LA in regards to entertainment and I don’t have a LA Weekly/LA City Beat/ LA Times calendar immediately available, this is a good option.

    I like this blog. While I have discourse at times with people, isn’t that what comments are for.

    I don’t want this blog to be like other blogs. I’m not 12. I don’t want to go to a place to get free beer. That is not appealing to me. I also don’t want to get called a slur, because I don’t agree with someone which also happens on other blogs, which is fine, because I have another option. Blogging LA.

    Why should all of the blogs be the same? If people don’t like this blog or how it’s done there is this thing it’s called Typepad.

    You can start your own freakin blog.

    If this was a national paper, yeah I’d totally get people going, “You should cover more of this or that,” but the beauty of the internet is that anyone who thinks they can do it better gets to go out there and try. Not only that they can go out there and try to do it better for free.

    WordPress great blogging software and free. Blogger, don’t really like it, but also free.

    For a few extra dollars you can make your blog look “professional,” if this isn’t your thing and you want to attract the brainless set, you can start a myspace page.

    You don’t like something. Don’t read it. I don’t read TMZ. I don’t read the Enquirer. I don’t read alot of personal blogs, simply because I don’t like them. I don’t have to go, “Your blog needs improvement.” Because no ones blog need improvement, people are just doing what they want to do and that’s fine.

    I don’t get coming to other people’s homes and talking crap. I’m not talking about the back and forth you have during a debate, but “you could do this better if…”

    Like you couldn’t drop the owner the blog an email. You have to insult someone publicly in that way?

    On your blog do what you want, but to come over here and critique someone else’s vehicle to me is just annoying grandma like.

    Personally I think the people who are complaining actually just want to write for Blogging LA, but are too shy to ask. I think if that’s the case and that’s what you want to do you should just ask and if they tell you no, then ask someone else. Don’t be a passive aggressive weirdo.

    Half of the people who hate the LA Weekly hate them because their work got rejected or they got fired.

    Browne

  8. “Hey, readers, quit writing about the stuff we write for you! What do you think this is, some kind of dialogue or something?”

    No, but seriously, where do you get vegan strudel in Vienna? The only vegan place I could find there was an Indian restaurant.

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