…and welcome to your local supermarket, where we offer only the freshest produce and finest products for your gustatory pleasure.
Or you can just strip naked and roll around like a rutting animal in these zingers and twinkies and ho-ho’s.
Seriously, the automatic double doors whooshed opened and there they were–this altar to hydrogenated oils and fractionated palm kernel oil and high-fructose corn syrup–sweet ambrosia of the gods!–glowing blue and white in the half-light of the dawn. Mmmmm, ding dongs. Beakfast of kings. Thank you Ralphs market, for reminding me where my priorities should lie.