justice: 0 stupid spoiled rich whore: 1

Oh help me sweet little baby jesus in your golden fleecy pajamas, for I am on HILTONWATCH!!11

It’s similar to GATORWATCH!!!1, but with one less !, an extra 1, and a hero who isn’t nearly as sympathetic or attractive.

According to TMZ, Poor baby Paris just felt really, really sad about being in big tough mean old jail, and simply couldn’t handle it.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown, and that’s why she was released early this morning.

Assuming this is true . . .

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

Guess what, you stupid spoiled rich whore — it’s fucking jail and you’re not supposed to enjoy it. See, jail is where you go when you drive drunk and put everyone’s lives on the road with you at risk.

I seriously hope that every single inmate in the LA County system immediately demands consultations with psychiatrists, especially everyone who is serving time for non-violent offenses like possession or parking tickets, so they can receive equal consideration.

After all, jail is the kind of place that can make someone feel really, really sad, and that’s just not right . . . if you’re rich and white.

11 Replies to “justice: 0 stupid spoiled rich whore: 1”

  1. Ok, no one has said it yet, but it is time for Sheriff Lee Baca’s resignation.

    There is no good reason why this should have happened and makes Los Angeles look even stupider than it looked already.

    One might even describe it as being “criminal.”

    D

  2. So you’re telling me that in LA, rich celebrities are treated differently than everyone else? Wow, thanks for the update!

  3. I’ll bet she’s feeling much better now that she’s back in her hood, she must be allergic to poor people. First Mel Gibson, now this. Lousy system.

  4. Heh. I am, COOP.

    For my next insightful series here, I’ll reveal the horrible truth about freeways during rush hour: they’re not nearly as fast as you’d think.

  5. Baca is not going to resign. Our only option is to vote him out of office. He has been getting re-elected since 1998 because nobody knows the other candidates, so they just vote for the incumbent.

    About a year ago, David Markland posted a rant on Metroblogging LA about candidates not taking advantage of LA blogs to get their message out:

    http://blogging.la/archives/2006/05/on_6606_election_primaries_can.phtml

    Has anything changed? I consult local LA blogs around election time and I hardly ever can find any information.

  6. Why should we care if she has a nervous breakdown. That’s her decision. People in jail have psychological freakouts all the time. If she has to have a freakout, let her have it strapped to a dirty gurney in the jail medical ward, while they force into submission with thorazine and haldol. That’s what they’d do to any other inmate.

    Frankly, it’s her anti-social psychological instability that probably got her in jail in the first place.

  7. Why is everybody mad at Paris Hilton? We knew that she would do whatever she could to get out of serving time.

    You should be mad at the people who let her walk. Lee Baca is a good place to start…

  8. You are all Haters, she got more time then anyone else would have. 21 days in a county jail is a lot of time for a probation violation. IMO

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