Parking Jackasses (Bicycle Edition)

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Dear Bicycle rider,

What are you doing? Did you really just lock up your bike across those stairs?
You’re a dick.

xo.
-benjamin

PS: I posted one more picture of your dick parking move after the jump.

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14 Replies to “Parking Jackasses (Bicycle Edition)”

  1. Agreed: bad, dumb, and unneccessary, but it also makes me think about how the more that I ride my bike around town, the more I’m struck by the lack of places to safely and securely park a bike.

  2. Oh heinous deed. An installation most foul and made doubly so by appearance that the bike could either be rotated 90 degrees clockwise or counter while locked so at least it stood parallel with the center rail.

    CVC 21202 definitely does not apply here.

  3. Careful! I got in trouble for calling a parking jerk a cunt; dick is pretty much the same thing. (Isn’t it funny how one’s OK but the other isn’t?) (I might regret this comment if I start something with it.)

  4. oh, i wholeheartedly support your use of the word cunt. i’ve got your back.

    in my own words, i find that a dick is more someone who is careless towards others or maybe has a blatant disregard for how their actions may effect others, for example, someone who might chain their bike across some stairs.

    on the other hand, a cunt is someone who is maybe more spiteful and open about their meanness. you could refer to them as bitchy too maybe. kind of like if you asked someone about a bad parking job and they were a total fucking cunt about not letting you use one of the two parking spots they were taking up. it’s a slightly different, and often more vocal, attitude, whereas the dick attitude is more passive in it’s assholery.

    so, in my world at least, whoever parked this bike is a dick, not a cunt.

    this is the best comment i’ve ever left.

  5. Hmmm. The way I see it, dicks and cunts are meant for each other. Too bad they have to multiply…

  6. Sadly multiplication in the purest biblical sense is exactly what happens when those two get put together.
    Inconsiderate parking abounds. Personally I like the UK way of handling bad parking, put a boot on it and tow it way if you are in a designated “C” or “congestion” zone.

  7. Are you absolutely sure that the bicyclist locked up his bike the way you see it? From the way the U-lock goes around the top tube, it looks entirely possible that s/he locked it parallel to the middle railing, with either the front or the back half protruding into the lobby (not the smartest move either, to be sure), whereupon somebody trying to get by pushed it out of the way.

    Mr. Rollers is absolutely right, BTW, about the lack of bicycle parking in this city. We’re not even an afterthought; “afterthought” implies thought.

    Oh, and just so that I don’t start a flame war between or among the usual people with way too much time on their hands, I should make it clear that if the person really did lock up his bike the way we see it pictured, s/he is at least a dumbfuck if not necessarily a dick or a cunt.

  8. Daniel, I made a similar observation in my first comment about the potential rotation of the bike as it appears locked, and I second your interpretation of the potential perpetrator more as a dumbfuck than dick and a cu- cu- cu- (I can’t even spell the dang thing and as such I’m strongly fighting the urge to take issue with Annika who thinks the latter two are interchangeable in usage).

  9. i can’t be sure, but i’m fairly certain that this bike was locked up here this way on purpose. i arrived right after it had been locked up and it was like this. unless it was shoved by someone IMMEDIATELY upon being locked up, this is how it was locked up.

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