OMFG! Snakes On The Plains

The L.A. Daily News is reporting today that hikers, bikers, barhoppers and K-Mart shoppers need to be on the extra primo special good lookout for rattlers in them there hills and dales and store aisles and such thanks to the unseasonably warm and dry winter that is bringing them up out of their burrows early and hungry and randy on the lookout for food and the sexy time.

Among the informational tidbits included in the piece such as the apparently overlooked fact that snakes are cold-blooded evil killing machines and can’t generate their own warmth because they’re too busy trying to kill everything writer Judy O’Rourke points out that “Experts caution against handling rattlesnakes,” and personally I can’t thank her enough for saving my life because without that golden nugget of wisdom I’d be out there on a venomous reptile-handling binge.

In a semi-related and somewhat regional wildlife note that I’d title “OMFG! Coyotes, A New Beginning!” if I felt like making it a stand-alone post the Ventura County Star has reported that the enlightened city of Oxnard has purchased 1,000 112-decibel handheld airhorns to disperse among coyote-phobic residents who would rather disturb the peace and momentarily deter any of the encroaching canines with the superloud blasts rather than take the proper steps to make their homes and hood less appealing to the wiley and resourceful and opportunitistic creatures.

CategoriesUncategorized