Adultcon 11 Reaction…

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Adultcon 11 (NSFW, previously mentioned here) took place this past weekend at the LA Convention Center, and reaction was mixed.

Erik, 19, was thrilled, summing it up with “Best day ever. =]”

Meanwhile, Randy, 36, was disappointed, to say the least:

It all started hypothetically, if not merely as a joke during conversation with a certain, open-minded female friend of mine. “We should go to Adultcon this year.” I’m a guy, so when a cute female says, “We should go to Adultcon,” you GO to Adultcon. Hello, right? …

We arrive about 4 pm and parking is twelve bucks (expected though) and we practically run on into the convention center with thoughts of short skirts, hot bodies and flirty porn-stars who’ll “toss themselves” at anyone near the red carpet with a camera and a smile. We wanted to see Jenna or Janine or Jill or Peter or…you get the idea. Instead we’re met with an enormous line for security. It was hot and from the moment we stepped in line, it took us twenty-five minutes, a pat down and $70 dollars before actually arriving through the doors of our first Adultcon. There was no red carpet. There were no imported beds from Aruba and there was nothing fluffy about Adultcon.

More after the jump.

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But I should have known what we were getting into while waiting in line. We noticed an obese woman (who could easily have been my grand-mother) wearing a painted on purple skirt (uber-short mind you) and silver high-heels drinking a can of Budweiser. After having polished it off with a hearty burp, she discarded the crumpled aluminum on the cement floor, leaving it for an array of people to inadvertently kick around while trying not to look as if THEY had just tossed the can.

In any case, I was not discouraged by grandma’s saggy boobs and her horrifically tanned skin and trotted in with a cute woman ready for some hot porn action – even if it meant pasties, a lack of imported alcohol and a strictly above the waist contact rule. …

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Without divulging any names – I must say that the very first “porn-star” we saw had us shaking our heads. She was super skinny and looked as if she was about sixteen years old. Fine, my date and I realize that not everyone “does it for” everyone else so we pressed on, holding on to the fun conversation and delusions of porn we had built up on the way over.

We did the circuit clockwise and then sliced up the only two lanes of the Adultcon space, continuously disappointed by what (and whom) we saw. Clearly there’s much to be said about production time, soft lighting and make-up. The porn-stars that we saw looked either like little boys (with no shape), washed up despite their generally youthful looks or downright disinterested and as if they were simply fulfilling some sort of contractual obligation. We were really astounded when we saw a few porn-stars that should have retired a long, long time ago. Saggy boobs, droopy plastic surgery and heavy mascara couldn’t help even the most zealous enthusiasm for being on display. Free t-shirts or not. Scary thing was – how the men flocked around these women with cameras and generally mystified looks about them – as if they’ve never looked at a naked (or scantily clad) woman before. And judging by Adultcon 11 – white people do not watch porn ;) …

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There she was – arguably the largest (and not her size) porn-star of the event. She was surrounded by security. Men were practically tripping over themselves for position in line to meet her or have them sign their t-shirts or photos or who knows what else. What astounded me was that no one – aside from my date – seemed to notice the glaring, and rather disheartening demeanor said porn-star carried. She was clearly a product of surgery (nothing necessarily wrong with that though) but with all her attractiveness, she seemed flat out bored and dispassionate towards the event. Even standoffish and quite possibly as though she had recently eaten some bad fish (no pun intended). My date and I were so intrigued by her overwhelming sense of (contempt may not be a harsh term here) boredom that we sat down at a nearby table to observe. She could hardly make the effort to stand, much less, smile for photos. She waved men through her assembly line of money-grubbing men (who looked like uber-vegetarian surfers) and seemed quite annoyed when men had to repeat their requests for autographs over the wretched music still blaring from the cigar booth at the opposite end of the floor. She made it overtly clear that she wasn’t about to move a muscle until cash fell from wallets and at one point (when an overly eager fan leaned a bit to close) I thought she was going to have security escort her from the premises. And no, the fan was not a female – I mean the look that she gave the security guard was no less than, “Help me, please, for the love of anything decent, get me the hell out of here.” …

In the end, my friend and I had a good time, despite realizing that Adultcon was just that. A con. A virtual fraud that stood for (and profited from) the two things that so many of us are hell bent on having – sex and money – two things that none of us can take with us when we die, no matter how much fun they may be here and now. Don’t get me wrong; I like watching porn and having money like the next guy. But I’d suggest that the fantasy that is (or can be) porn – should simply stay the fantasy that is porn…and leave the conventions to tech companies and real estate ventures.

(Photos not intended to represent the descriptions of the pornstars they accompany, and are courtesy of Karl Poverino.)

UPDATE: Disappointment seems to be the continuing theme, as ALoveSupreme, 24, writes:

…I found the atmosphere of Adultcon worse than Erotica LA. As a whole, the fans of Erotica LA were a lot more respectful than some of the abrasive fans I observed over the weekend. In addition, some of the adult actresses at Adultcon were trying way too hard to attract attention. At Erotica LA, there was a blend of established stars and up-and-coming talent. As a result, I felt claustrophobic at times and the convention left me feeling drained.

And Ronin Rider, 35, writes:

I checked out adultcon over the weekend. I was a bit disappointed. There weren’t any big name porn stars; no Jenna Jameson, or Tera Patrick. I got a free t-shirt, DVD, and calender though. The line to get in wasn’t that bad. I waited approximately 45 minutes to get in then looked around for about 45 minutes. Plenty of vendors but wished there were more beautiful girls there. Most of the girls were friendly and didn’t mind posing for pictures. I remember only one that completely refused. I’m not really sure if I would go again. I guess it would depend on which stars would be there next year. Hopefully they will get bigger name talent.

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