Hey Jill – I Want My Name Back

Yeah, you heard me, Jill. You, and your bland, inoffensive focus group generated identity can give back the best part of yourself: your name. Which, might I add, is mine.

I’m referring to JillFM, Jack’s spinoff station. According to the LA Times article (“Jack May Be Annoying, But Jill’s An Airhead”), Jill is not widely available in all of the SoCal area yet – but she’s on her way. She is not so much a radio station, but a composite identity of a woman who owns a radio station, and therefore, plays what she wants. She likes cosmopolitans, but will drink a beer after surfing, she might have a bad girl streak, she has a mountain bike and maybe a Mercedes coupe. She is a self-made woman whose daddy bought her a radio station.

Even if I wasn’t named Jill myself, I would be offended, as a woman, at this station. It isn’t just the music, but the entire concept of the personalized, inoffensive station personality. The website is a makeup mirror. The logo is a lipstick print. The station is “fun with a sassy attitude!” (what, it isn’t sassitude?). And the music itself is equally stereotypical and boring, with songs that range from bland to blander. “AC, Hot AC, CHR, Oldies, Rock, even Country!” (By the way, I don’t even know what AC and CHR are – but I assume the former is Adult Contemporary, a genre I find nauseating at best)

So Jill, please give my name back. Stop degrading me, and fellow Jills everywhere. And by the way, Jillian’s in Citywalk? I’m coming for you next.

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