Open Letter to the Unnamed Bike Gang

IAAL•MAF 6/29 Downtown Ride

Dear Unnamed Bike Gang,

Consider yourselves stepped to.

For serious. What’s up with you totally stealing our glory? This town’s not big enough for the both of us, and we don’t care if you guys have been around for a year, we’ve been around for weeks, WEEKS! And we’ve got a name, logo, and our own flickr tag. I read your article, you think that catwalk across the 110 is yours? We’ve been there. You have Treos? We have Treos, and Sony Ericssons, and Helios. Hell we might even have a damn sidekick in the group. You hang out in silverlake? We OWN Silverlake. You drink coffee? You don’t even know what coffee is! We drink enough coffee before 1pm to kill a small village in South East Asia. And by 8pm? Watch out Europe. You aren’t “trying to pretend to be O.G. track-bike-messenger-ultimate people.”? We don’t even know what that means!

So there!

And on top of all that, we blog. Where’s your blog tough guy? Didn’t think so.

The only resolution we can see, well, that doesn’t end in mass bloodshed, NWA played an uncomfortably loud volume, and neighborhood council meetings, would be for us to form some sort of bike gang alliance and take this town by storm.

You guys mull it over and let us know.

Your Idol,
Sean Bonner

7 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Unnamed Bike Gang”

  1. YEAH, what he said! You think MAGES ARE OVERPOWERED? You don’t know overpowered until you’ve dealt with the IAAL * MAF (after we catch our breath, have some water and rest).

    Don’t make me name that “un-named” noodle shop. I KNOW WHERE YOU EAT.

    Man, this some sort of “Bizarro” bike universe thing going on here.

  2. Oh, and “Scott”, if that is your real name, check your street cred: the LeMond (misspelled by the Weekly) hybrid is waaaaay too much bike for the real streets of L.A.. We roll on a mix of thrashed Cannondales, blackout Konas, a coach-built fixie and at least one sub-brand hybrid, mock-labeled “Ducati.”

    You’re tryin’ to keep it real in duct-taped beater-bike turf on the two-wheeled equivalent of a cherried-out mother-of-pearl Acura NSX, yo. Quit frontin’.

  3. i read that today and almost fell off my bike. *shakes fists at sky*

  4. Sounds like they stole at least part of their route from last month’s RIDE-arc. Give credit where credit is due, eh? But I guess this town is big enough for a whole lot of bikes . . .

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