There’s two images I’ll always remember from Gregg Araki’s 1995 film “The Doom Generation”. One, of course, are the cash registers that always total $6.66 when they appear on screen. The second thing is the sight of a bare chested Rose McGowan – the first time I was ever introduced to her. Thank you Gregg Arakki! But since we’re talking about the coming arrival of 6/6/06… and the arrival of Satan here in Los Angeles, I’ll have to put Rose to the back of my mind for a little bit.
We can all identify with the infrequent occurance of the number of the beast appearing on cash registers. Some people will make it a point to toss in a 3 cent fireball or other random purchase just to ensure they don’t walk away with “the mark”. Unfortunately for them, it may not make a difference. There’s a theory out there that the number 666 is encoded in every UPC seal on every product and item that carries one, thus marking everything and virtually everyone a product or byproduct of Satan (if its on Google, it must be true.) And if any consumers out there have ever had a problem with PayPal, they can attest that if it isn’t the work of the devil, it is at the very least a waiting room to hell.
That said, if you want to avoid the middleman and get your cash to the devil sooner than later, or at the very least want to look like you’re in league with Baphomet himself, you’re in the right town. Keep reading for some local businesses that take cash, credit, or sometimes your soul…
Over in Los Feliz is Rosemary’s Billygoat near the intersection of Hollywood and Sunset. With a name like that it was creepy enough to begin with. Recently they joined forces with The Black Room, a occult supply store focusing on the Black Arts that moved in from North Hollywood. Rumor has it that the owners of the Black Room are members of Ordo Templi Orientis… which is certainly more evil and deserving of Orcus’ love than the poseurs with the Church of Satan (I feel a hex coming over me now). The store displays the sort of stuff that even the folks at Hot Topic would brand NSFW. On top of magic potions and spell components, a used casket, and rings with old tooths in them, they also feature mutilated deer heads mounted for your pleasure.
The Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab specializes in mixing potions and providing spell components for those practicing the Black Arts. Included on the menu are Voodoo Blends, Dark Elements, Funereal Oils, and Imps Ears. Based in Los Angeles, Black Phoenix doesn’t have a physical storefront, but will sell online at their site, eBay, as well as at other occult stores. Contact them for more info.
If you’re too lazy to sacrifice an animal on your own, or you happen to need a last minute gift for a Rosemary’s Baby shower, Necromance is for you. Freeze dried bats, rattlesnake rattles, and stuffed animals (the taxidermied kind) that would impress even a hobbyist like Norman Bates.
Dark Delicacies is that place on Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood with the statue of Frankenstein’s Monster outside. Inside is the city’s greatest collection of books featuring horror fiction and the occult, along with some creepy collectibles. They frequently host autograph signings with authors, composers, artists, and filmmakers. If you only want to read about Satan – or get a collection of Mephistoples action figures, this is a great place to be.
Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Panpipes Magickal Marketplace. Officially, the good folks at
Hollywood’s the United States oldest Wiccan Occult speciallty store would want nothing to do with Satan or anything with a dark vibe practices magic “with ethics so we do warn but have the supplies and the knowledge to do hexing and cursing spells,” according to owner Jymie Darling. (edits in italics, 6/9/06) However, they have a friendly staff who won’t only readily talk to you and warn you about dabbling in Satanism, they’ll also readily provide with a spell or other protection in case evil forces are coming after you.
As usual, if I missed any locations, or you’d like to add some trivia about the above stores, leave a note here in the comments.
(Top image from Tristan C’s Flickr)
CORRECTIONS MADE PER JYMIE’S COMMENTS BELOW, 6/9/06