A Tale Of Two Lizards

ali.jpg A sure sign that spring has sprung is when the cats start catching and bringing stuff inside because they love you so much and want to provide for you (yeah, I reeeaaaaaallly buy that). With four felines under our roof I’ve already had to liberate a variety of birds, reptiles and bugs (OK, so I pretty much let them keep the bugs) and this season looks to be time for another bumper crop of alligator lizard rescues, surpassing last year’s easily.

What’s really extraspecial cool is when the gatos bring the little gators inside and then they ges away to hide under the fridge or the washing machine. Eventually hunger or boredom or whatever’s on HGTV brings them back out in the open days later, such as yesterday and again today where the cats commence beating the things up but not killingthem until whatever ruckus being made reaches my ears and brings me a-runnin’ to intervene.

Once I got Pepper to release yesterday’s victim from his jaws, the exhausted and tail-less but otherwise uninjured reptile was in no mood to front and didn’t resist at all as I picked it up and brought it deep into the backyard to let it go. Today’s was a different story. This time there was no rowdiness that drew me to the scene. I just happened to walk through the living room at the right time to find Pepper, Jig and Pumpkin surrounding a healthy specimen almost a foot long with tail intact and attitude in full effect.

Shooing the trio to neutral corners I moved in to grab the critter who wasn’t about to go without a chase and skittered under the couch, which I moved and then cornered the thing against the wall. Blocking its escape with one hand I made to scoop it up with the other and dang if the beast didn’t catch air launching itself at my blocking hand to chomp right down on the webby part between my thumb and index finger… where it hung on fully intent on killing me slowly.

Now alligator lizards aren’t known for their impressive set of teeth or their amazing strength-to-size ratio, but what really rocked was that as it dangled from my paw this particular member of that species readjusted its grip as I lifted my arm up in surprise so that it actually had a more manageable piece of my hand in its mouth. Even better this sucker was really pissed off because it proceeded to do this little side-to-side chewing/grinding thing. Oh yeah, and dang if it didn’t pinch like a muzzafuzza, the bastard!

Standing up abruptly I grabbed the lizard’s body with my unbitten hand, thought about tossing the ungrateful thing over to Pepper as late-afternoon snack, but instead proceeded out into the backyard where it wasn’t until I got it down near some rocks in the sun that it finally decided not to continue eating me and instead let go and bolted to freedom.

Man, it’s a good thing they’re not veno m qpadkadtrfjahkx dcx

5 Replies to “A Tale Of Two Lizards”

  1. Just remember to wash your hands after handling any reptiles. They’re crawling with things like Salmonella. It’d suck to get food poisoning from choking your lizard.

  2. Last time i tried to catch a lizard in my house, it ended with me thinking I caught a lizard but only having a tail….followed by a few days of chasing it around (tailless) and then it “escaped” out the front door one morning.

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