Ode to Cupcake Crack

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Since I’m on an insanely strict diet to manage a pesky chronic illness, outside of the highly occasional small-time cheat–say, a bite of heathervescent‘s cinnamon roll whilst plowing through my (legal) omelet at Back Door Bakery–I don’t do sugar or grains. (This can be confirmed by Spencer Cross, a.k.a. 5000!, who watched me eat one of my sad little bun-free, fries-free burgers at this week’s kernspiracy gathering.)

But after hearing my friend squawk about Sprinkles cupcakes for nigh on a year now, last night I had to see what the fuss was about. It was, after all, her birthday; I didn’t want to be rude.

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

Can I just say that not only do the white-on-white (that’s “vanilla” in cupcake-crack parlance) kick the cupcake ass of any ordinary, muffin-sized baked treat, but that the whole Sprinkles “experience” is amazing. You can order in advance online! You can waltz past the line snaking out the door and sail out with your perfectly packaged, heavy-as-gold, expensive as hell dozen ($36!!! not including tax!!! and not a baker’s dozen!!!) like the Queen of Beverly Hills!

It’s a little freaky, actually. Back when I bought pastry regularly, it was from large, grandma-armed ladies with hairnets and baker’s uniforms. The Sprinkles employees–at least, the ones out front–look like the girls I see at casting calls for McDonald’s counter kids: impossibly pretty, fresh-scrubbed and cheerful. (And tiny–doesn’t look like they’re eating much product.)

According to the website, Sprinkles is going to be expanding with a vengeance soon. It’ll be interesting to see how the chi-chi, high-end cupcake model works (or doesn’t) in other cities. For now, you can enjoy your only-in-L.A. cupcake experience for just $3 a hit.http://blogging.la/archives/2006/05/from_abla_kernspiracy_memorial.phtml

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