Not Too Legit To Blog

Relayed from Blogebrity who found it at Valleywag, comes the news that Stanley Kirk Burrell otherwise known as MC Hammer has commenced blogging.

From yesterday’s entry, Stanley relates a “horrible dream” he had in which he’s down on his luck somewhere in the south in 1968 and decides to become an officer of the law:

I walked into the sheriff’s office and immediately all eyes were on me. The room went silent and you could hear a rat pissin’ on cotton. My dark chocolate skin and my bold jaw line complimented [sic] my broad nose and my full lips. I opened my mouth and simply said, “I’m here to apply for a job as an officer.”

Rat pissin’ on cotton? Chocolate skin? Bold jaw line complementing his broad nose? I could go on cutting and pasting the ensuing strangeness that unfolds, but suffice it to say he’s accepted as a cadet and then gets beaten to death, all of which dovetails nicely into a plug for his new single, “History, I Won’t Give Up,” off his upcoming album “LookLookLook.”

And if that weren’t bad enough a moblog entry down the page shows that Hammer drives a Hummer, which sooooo overqualifies him for Shane’s asshole fine.