To the young man waiting behind me in the express lane at the Von’s at Sunset and Hillhurst: Thank you. I know I held you up, ruining the concept of “express” checkout. I filled out that Clubcard application as fast as I could. It saved me eight bucks and I really appreciate how patient you were. It’s nice to know there are some kind people out there.
To the drivers between my house and said Von’s: I can’t remember the b.la policy on profanity, so just trust me when I say I’ve got lots for you. Bitches. I just wanted to buy some damn juice without fearing for my life and my car the whole drive there.
To Von’s: What kind of racket are you running? Eight bucks was almost 25% of my grocery total.