As 2005 draws to a close, I look back on the year, and ask myself a lot of questions: Is it worth living here, with the traffic, and the overcrowding, and the high cost of living? Why didn’t I hike up to Mount Wilson this year? Will the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles make another exciting run at third place in 2006?
But the biggest question, the one that’s kept me up at night, is: What the hell happened to GATORWATCH!!!!!111!?!!?? I mean, for days, we had reporters camped out on the shores of Machado Lake! There was scandal, and intrigue, and drama, and the Crocodile Hunter was coming to town to save us all from Reggie the Killer Alligator. Then, as quickly as the GATORWATCH!!!!!111! started, it stopped.
Until yesterday, baby, when GATORWATCH!!!!!111! was back in full effect, when two jerkass dirtbags were arrested and charged with dumping Reggie the Killer Alligator:
Anthony Brewer and Todd Nato were charged with several criminal counts, NBC4 reports.
Those charges include causing a public nuisance and possession of several restricted animals.
Both men could face jail time and fines.
In August, authorities arrested former Los Angeles police Officer Natow, 42, and Brewer, 36, after a tip led investigators to Brewer’s home.
Investigators allegedly found evidence of an alligator habitat, photographs of alligators, drugs and two live snapping turtles, police said. Both men were arrested but later posted bail.
Natow was an LAPD officer from 1984 to 2001, when he resigned after a second DUI arrest, LAPD officials said.
Police said investigators seized three alligators, four piranha fish, one rattlesnake, three desert tortoises, six tortoise eggs, one scorpion and about 10 pounds of marijuana at Natow’s home.
See, these guys are my kind of jerkass dirtbags. This guy is so hardcore, it wasn’t enough for him to resign from the LAPD for two DUIs, or to have drugs and alligators running all over his house like pot-bellied kids at the Redneck Riviera. Oh no, he kicked it up to a whole new level and brought snapping turtles into the equation. Awesome.
According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2006 is the Year of the Dog. I say it’s the year of the GATOR!!!111