I am shocked — shocked — that the local news still hasn’t contacted me about my magic earthquake-predicting dog . . . but they have time for breathless coverage like this, which I overheard on KCAL this afternoon:
KCAL NEWSDRONE (to guy who was on a boat): You were on a boat during the earthquake, (Producer in Newsdrone’s ear: “Tie It In To The Tsunami Warning!”) so you didn’t feel the earth shaking, but you felt the shaking caused by the waves, right?
BOAT GUY: Uh, no. I didn’t feel anything at all. I was on a boat.
NEWSDRONE: So you just saw the swaying of the buildings, is that right?
BOAT GUY: No, I didn’t see anything. In fact, I didn’t even know it happened until I saw it on the TV.
NEWSDRONE: Right here on KCAL 9?
BOAT GUY: Uh . . . yeah.
Clearly, there is some conspiracy afoot. I’ll be watching KTLA tonight at ten, where I’m positive Hal Fishman will have a brief commentary about this shocking development.