from the desert to the sea, to all of southern california . . .

I am shocked — shocked — that the local news still hasn’t contacted me about my magic earthquake-predicting dog . . . but they have time for breathless coverage like this, which I overheard on KCAL this afternoon:

KCAL NEWSDRONE (to guy who was on a boat): You were on a boat during the earthquake, (Producer in Newsdrone’s ear: “Tie It In To The Tsunami Warning!”) so you didn’t feel the earth shaking, but you felt the shaking caused by the waves, right?

BOAT GUY: Uh, no. I didn’t feel anything at all. I was on a boat.

NEWSDRONE: So you just saw the swaying of the buildings, is that right?

BOAT GUY: No, I didn’t see anything. In fact, I didn’t even know it happened until I saw it on the TV.

NEWSDRONE: Right here on KCAL 9?

BOAT GUY: Uh . . . yeah.

Clearly, there is some conspiracy afoot. I’ll be watching KTLA tonight at ten, where I’m positive Hal Fishman will have a brief commentary about this shocking development.

8 thoughts on “from the desert to the sea, to all of southern california . . .”

  1. Let’s hope somebody TiVo’d that sucker! That is hugely funny. Thanks for the larf. Oh, and by the way, my dog, The Stupidest Dog In All Of Christendom, barked his fool head off for a minute or so right before the earthquake, then, during the earthquake, laid down and took a nap. I guess he figured that it was my worry, not his.

  2. YES!! For about an hour, Channel 9’s coverage was hilarious. The reporter in Newport Beach seemed like she was going down an assembly line of people who didn’t feel the earthquake.
    “You feel it?”

  3. On the topic of pets, I got up to inspect the home after the quake and found my cat and both dogs napping. I felt it necessary to shake their beds lightly to fill them in on what was happening with the rest of So. Cal. I think they appreciated the heads-up. :)

  4. Did you see the tsunami warning newscasts a few nights ago? They were hilarious!

    They broke in every 5 minutes to give updates on the tsunami and interviewed a guy from the National Weather Service.

    KCAL: So tell me about this tsunami watch system you have in Eureka?

    National Weather Guy: Well, it’s not really a watch system. We have an individual perched at a high location observing the ocean for any anomalies…

    KCAL: Could you describe how this individual is doing this?

    NWG: Well, he is perched at the top of a cliff with a pair of binoculars, looking at the ocean for a big wave.

    KCAL: There you have it, the National Weather Service is confirming that they have someone watching for a tsunami at the top of a cliff with a pair of binoculars, observing the ocean for a big wave. We’ll keep you updated as we receive more information.

  5. My favorite is when people call in to the TV stations and they ask “What did it feel like?”
    The person replies “It was a strong jolt”.
    And then they ask like 8 people in a row that same question. And all 8 people say “A strong jolt”. At this point, I usually yell at the TV “Ok, we know it was a strong jolt – now move on to something else!”

    As for my cat, she pretty much freaked out just because she saw me freaking out.

  6. Dogs have the ability to sense ultra-low frequency waves that proceed earthquakes. I’d suggest you prepare the next time your dog goes nuts.

  7. Sometimes all I can do is hold my head down and hopefully learn from the comments of others just how things look on TV. I promise I’ll try to keep my heart in the right place and pass along some of the reactions I picked up here.

    On the other hand, how ’bout that Michael Jackson coverage?

    “Just Google me”

Comments are closed.