So I’m heading home from a production meeting in Century City. Stopped off afterwards to grab a cuppa at the Coffee Bean on Beverly Glen and Santa Monica (which, true to form, had the craziest homeless guy yakking it up I’ve seen in some time–what is it about that particular Bean?).
I pull out of the Walgreen’s parking lot and–saints be praised–a parking enforcement vehicle turning left onto Beverly Glen throws me a two-lane block. Which is great, because the construction at that intersection has increased driver intolerance in direct proportion to it slowing down driver progress.
So I ease into the middle (straight thru) lane. A brand new Lexus pulls out of my land into the left (turn) lane. He’s sitting funny, but it’s a crowded intersection so I decide he’s nothing to worry about.
Wrong. Just after the light has turned green for southbound traffic (me) and southbound traffic (me) is moving forward, Lexus decides he’d rather go straight after all so he LURCHES into my lane as I am MOVING FORWARD for the GREEN LIGHT which in 99.999% of the countries on this planet MEANS GO. I don’t even know how that asshat squeezed in front of me, much less how I stopped in time, but the Escalade behind me didn’t have time and I got rear-ended.
We pulled around the corner to an abandoned parking lot to inspect the damage (not Asshat–he sped off down Beverly Glen as fast as his Lexus-so-new-it-had-no-plates could take him). But Escalade couldn’t have been nicer. In between my cursing out Asshat, he managed to say he was incredibly sorry, that he could see what was coming as soon as Asshat pulled his asshat move, but while my little Corolla could stop in time, his gigantic car could not.
Oddly enough, there was no immediately discernible damage–and he hit me kinda hard. But there wasn’t a scratch on his bumper and upon close inspection, just a teeny coupla dings on mine. Which I waved away–my bumper has already been scraped up from another rear-ender two days (!!!) after I bought the car.
Escalade kept asking me if it was really alright and I kept saying it was; finally, he asked how much it would cost to get the bumper painted–$200, maybe? I shrugged and said I guessed so, but really, not to worry about–
And the next thing I knew, he handed me two crisp $100 bills and after apologizing again and asking me to take it, got back in his car and took off.
But not before I got his name: Ari.
So Ari, thanks for making my week. A nice guy like you makes up for several dozen Asshat Lexus guys.
And as for you, Asshat: may the larvae of a thousand cockroaches find their birthing place in the crevices of your brand-new leather seats.
Happy Holidays, everyone!