We don’t need no stinkin’ Nutcracker

weird_thumb.jpgThe holidays are upon us, alright. I can tell because the entryway of every 99-seat theater in town is lousy with flyers for holiday shows…and I do mean lousy.

The Nutcracker has its place, yo, and I’ll be the first to say how much I dug it when I saw it back in Chicago. When I was ten. But there are far cooler, far sexier ways to ring in the holidays here in L.A.

First off: make your reservations NOW (I mean it…go! Now!) for the ninth incarnation of Bob’s Holiday Office Party. Running three weeks only at the teeny-tiny (but lovely, in its way) 3rd Stage Theater in Burbank. Justin Tanner directs a crack team of comic actors in what is definitely the filthiest holiday show and possibly one of the funniest show-shows I’ve ever seen, period. I bow down before the magnificent Ann Randolph, and you should, too. You should also pee first. Yes, it’s that funny.

Next, my one-and-only (I promise!) shameless plug for this year’s all-new version of Ken Roht‘s super-freaky holiday operetta, Peace Squad Goes 99: The Greatest 99¢ Only Story Ever Told…Ever! Everything in the whole rip-snortin’ hootenanny (except for load-bearing items like my stilts) is from the 99¢ Only Stores (the show’s co-sponsors) which sounds chintzy but in the hands of some of L.A. theater’s finest designers, most certainly is not. At Evidence Room through December 19th. Cool for the under-12 set, too.

Finally, I have not yet seen Bill Robens’s celebrated holiday musical, A Mulholland Christmas Carol, but it’s won so many danged awards and so many danged people keep telling me to go go go that I am considering the unthinkable and giving up my last free Thursday to do so this year. At Theatre of NOTE through December 18.