The missus and I went and got our vote on early this morning, here’s a few fun facts:
– The line outside was real long, real quick. The guy behind Caryn said he’s been voting at that place for 12 years and he’s never seen a turnout like this.
– Some idiot in front of me though it would be a good idea to bring his kid and make jokes the entire time. “Hey Suzie, Are you basing your vote on foreign policy? HA HA HA” and “Hey Suzie, you can wear my ‘I Voted’ Sticker because that would be funny. HA HA HA” and “Hey Suzie, do you know how much I suck? Someone needs to kick me in the nuts right now. HA HA HA.”
– The same idiot’s special lady friend snatches (I said snatch) his “cheat sheet”, a little piece of paper with his voting choices on it to compare it to hers, which is some fancy printed thing that was mailed to her and told her who to vote for. Because god forbid she make a decision on her own. But it gets better. She finds a conflict. Funny guy and her voter guide have a different choice for something. Is this possible? So she starts complaining and demanding an explanation right then and there how he could possibly vote for this thing when the thing she got in the mail said to vote against it. Did I mention this was in the line, in the polling place?
– The poll-worker at the door pulled me out of line very early on and said I needed to go straight to the “green table” so I go inside and see this. Notice the table is black? Yeah, all of them were black. The Green Table, the Orange Table, everything. Black. Slightly confusing. So I go back and ask the lady who pulled me out of line and she says “THE GREEN TABLE. If you can’t find it ask Lauren.” Like I have any idea who Lauren is. So I start going around and looking at name tags. About 5 minutes later I find Lauren and ask her where the Green Table is. She says this is it, she’s sitting at it. So I tell her my name and she says I’m not supposed to be there, and to go stand by that wall over there. OK, this is getting stupid. I go stand by the wall and start getting yelled at by voters who think I’m cutting in line. As if. I tell them to chill the hell out and wait by the wall like Lauren said. 10 minutes later some dude asks “Do you have a ballot yet?” No I don’t. “Oh, come with me.” He takes me right back to where he was sitting, WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT TO LAUREN and gives me a ballot and then tells be to go wait in the line that is filled with the people who were yelling at me.
– There were people walking around inside with video cameras talking to people. That was weird.
– A lady gave one of the poll workers $20 to go get the rest of the poll workers some coffee.
– A lady complained to a poll worker that there were people going up to the booths talking to people who were voting and that people were wearing political pins inside and at the booths. He told her it didn’t matter. She got huffy and stormed out.
– The line was twice as long when we were leaving as when we went in.
– Also, no one ever asked for any kind of ID or anything prooving who I was.