The Patchouli Room

I don’t know who is responsible, but the Break Room is now the Patchouli Room. My Diet Coke will not have an accompanying Lime taste as I prefer but rather the woody stench of Patchouli.

There is a reason you do not see Diet Coke with Patchouli in the coolers of your local AM/PM: because it is a nasty combination.

Of course, with how all-pervading the hippy-stank cloud is at the moment, there will be Stouffers Frozen Dinners with Patchouli, Lean Pockets with Patchouli (Meatballs & Patchouli, mostly), and Egg Salad Sandwich with Lettuce, Pickle, and Patchouli for lunch. All of which make my Diet Coke with Patchouli pale in comparison.

My only hope is the fact that the human olfactory system tends to cancel out aromas that are too overpowering, enabling you to “get used” to even the most foul reeks. How else would people in Berkeley and Colorado survive?

This being L.A., is there any way we can mandate a Patchouli ban using the anti-smoking ordinances as a model? Either that or designate “Patchouli” and something more quintessentially Southern Californian — say, “Orange Blossom” — sections in restaurants and bars?

Meanwhile, I’m off to check out the OSHA guidelines…

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