A friend of mine was recently taking the subway from Koreatown to Hollywood to go to work. Unfortunately, the ticket dispenser at his station was broken but there were, luckily, two Metro officers standing around nearby. He asks them about the machine and they tell him that he can get his ticket at the next station, no problem. Not only that, they reassure him that a broadcast already went out over the radio that the machine is broken and all of the officers are supposed to know. Confident he’s covered, he boards the train, heads off to the next station and gets off to go get his ticket. Of course, at this particular station there’s a line of officers at the stairs checking tickets. Instead of getting back on the train and just going to work like he could have, he does the right thing and heads up the stairs, thinking that everything is kosher. You can see where this is going, yes? One officer starts barking at him about where his ticket is, he tries to explain, the guy doesn’t care, all manner of awfulness ensues. The cop (who, as an extra bonus, is sporting mirrored shades and Magnum P.I. ‘stache) accuses him of being on meth, dumps the contents of his bag everywhere, turns his pockets out, threatens to take him downtown, on and on and on for half an hour. The guy is so beligerent that his partner is actually embarrased by his antics and makes several unfruitful attempts to calm him. Eventually, the cop gets his head out of his ass and gets it all figured out and lets my friend go, acting as if he was doing him a favor the whole time.
I really try to like cops. I don’t mean that as a joke. I think that a lot of hipsters bitch about cops just because it’s what everyone born after 1960 does. I know that the job is hard and dangerous and I wouldn’t want to do it. Unfortunately, about 90% of my interactions with them end very poorly and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to improve that average. I guess the lesson is, as usual, cover your ass. ‘Cause in the end they have the gun and the say-so no matter what the truth is.