Just what LA needs…

Fogarty and I ran into these walking crap factories in Hollywood yesterday. We stopped them and talked to them for a minute and they said they don’t have a regular beat. They just go where Herr Kommandant orders them to go and wave the flag. Oh yeah, and drop a few tons of horse shit all over the town they’re visiting. Way to make the locals really dig ya.

Click the thumbnail for a fullsize image.

Dear Drivers on the 110,

Please put down the crack pipe.

Seriously. Almost 10 of you bitches* damn near ran into me this morning between the 101 and the Adams exit. If it wasn’t for my extra sweet evasive driving maneuvers Caryn and I would be toast. What the hell? Knock it off already, ok?

Thank you.


* Note: the word “bitches” is used to describe a small group of crack smoking reckless drivers, not women with bad attitudes or female dogs.

Footlights Not Klieg Lights


I cannot tell a lie: I have pooh-poohed theatre in Los Angeles. That’s probably because I assume (and I think, not entirely wrongly) that actors in Los Angeles do not want to be theatre actors. Actors in Los Angeles want to be in film and television, otherwise they’d be on stage in New York or London. But then we have South Coast Repertory and A Noise Within, the latter of which has just sent out its 2004/2005 season schedule.

To paraphrase Cole Porter, I love brushing up my Shakespeare, so I think I’ll be making the short drive to Glendale for at least “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and “Julius Caesar,” and maybe even Moliere’s “The School for Wives” and Pinter’s “The Homecoming.” Why the heck not?

But submitting to the lure of the glossy brochure is easy. My question for those of you in the know is this: Where else can one find consistently good theatre in L.A.? (Will, I can hear you typing already…)

Oh, and why don’t L.A. companies roll out the histories more often? Where all my Henrys and Richards at?

In-N-Out: The White Castle of the West Coast?

So earlier this week, I wondered what people would miss if they weren’t in L.A. & a surprising number of people responded that they’d miss In-N-Out.

On Wednesday night, I went to see an advanced screening of Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and the tagline of “It’s What You Crave” made me think of the way people talk about Double-Doubles. You may have heard some buzz about the movie “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle” starring John Cho (the guy from American Pie 1&2) and Kal Penn (Kalpen Modi, the guy from Van Wilder). It’s set in New Jersey, and it’s about two guys who get the munchies and their adventures as set off for White Castle.

If you’re looking for something to watch this weekend, I would actually recommend the movie. I didn’t think that I’d find a slapstick/gross-out/stoner comedy funny, but I actually found it to be pretty clever and well-written.

And of course, if you’re in L.A., you can check out the temporary White Castle on Sunset Boulevard which is giving out 1 free burger per person, per day until August 11 to promote the movie.

You can win your own private screening by entering the Harold & Kumar Look-alike Contest, check the Harold & Kumar xanga sites for more details!

Don’t forget to be afraid!

Is it just me or is STORMWATCH! being replaced by TERRORWATCH! Here’s the latest FBI Warning for LA by way of the LA Times:

Without offering specifics, the FBI advisory was sent to more than a dozen Joint Terrorism Task Force teams days ago in the hope that law enforcement officials would redouble their efforts to monitor suspicious activities and follow investigative leads on extremists, officials said.

At the same time, FBI officials and others in several cities emphasized that the latest warning contained no specific or corroborated information about a threat to Los Angeles or any other jurisdiction.

“We don’t have a time or a date or anything specific related to the threat,” said Bill Elwell, the FBI spokesman in Albuquerque. “We are just letting people know that we have this information and asking them to remain vigilant.”

“The credibility of the information we are getting in this case cannot be established,” the official said. “But in these times, when we have anything that has specifics, whether credible or not, we have to get that out to the local authorities.

OK, so once again there’s no specific information about when, where, who, why, how, or if, and the credibility of the source of this very uninformative information can’t be established. But never the less, you should be scared.

Ew. How scarey.


Howdy! BLAM!!!

The Cowboys training camp is opening in Oxnard this week. Normally, this news would only be of interest to Cowboys fans. This year, though, there’s a new wrinkle: the city of Oxnard recently banned the famous star logo:


Well sort of. From the AP story: “Authorities obtained an injunction last month preventing the city’s largest and most violent street gang, the Colonia Chiques, from wearing the team’s clothing within a 6.6-square-mile ‘safety zone’ in the heart of Ventura County’s largest city.” Apparently the Chiques “adopted” the logo a couple of decades ago as their symbol. City officials, however, have reassured anxious Cowboys fans that only gang members are disallowed from wearing the symbol.

Thank God there’s a “safety zone” where right-standing citizens are protected from seeing frightening ruffians in sports attire.

Update on the “Randy Ad”

Also seen on the GLAAD website, an update on the previous post about the controversial homophobic ad in the L.A. Times:

The July 28 edition of the Los Angeles Times contains a column by Times writer Steve Lopez on his paper’s refusal to disclose its acceptable advertising standards and the absurdity of the claims made by Exodus International in its July 23 ad. “Randy Is Just Dandy — or Is He?” also humorously explores what Lopez calls “what looked like the largest singles ad in publishing history.”

Please continue to write the Los Angeles Times, thanking Steve Lopez for his outstanding column. And continue calling on its Department of Advertising Standards to disclose the standards by which it found Exodus’ defamatory myths acceptable for publication.

Water Water Everywhere…

Yesterday, Doc on the ‘ROQ reported the news that the average home price in the state of California is now $475,000 (up 25% in the last month). In Los Angeles, he continued, it’s now $400,000. Hmm..that’s not so bad. But here’s my question: WHERE?! We’ve been looking for a house for a little while, and the only place we’ve seen with houses in that range is Highland Park. I already know if you want to move to Diamond Bar or Covina you can probably find something liveable for under $400K. But what I want to know is, for those of us that need to stay central, what are the hidden gems? West Adams? Beverlywood? Where can buyers still find an (relatively) affordable house that’s not in the ghetto?

P.S.: I searched like mad for the source of the numbers that Doc reported, but couldn’t find anything. If you know, hit me up.

Top 100?

Technorati publishes a Top 100 of blogs with the most inbound links. As of a few minutes ago the tail end looks a little something like this:

95. Brunching Shuttlecocks 1386 blogs 1581 links
96. Dave Barry’s Blog 1385 blogs 1443 links
97. tin-men 1364 blogs 1401 links
98. ABRUPTO 1359 blogs 1832 links
99. Random Bytes 1353 blogs 1408 links
100. Television Without Pity 1349 blogs 1569 links

However, if you search for blogging.la, the results say we have 1364 blogs 2451 links, which should put us at #96. Technorati has been a bit shakey recently so I’m guessing the Top 100 list isn’t totally up to date, but that is pretty kick ass news either way.


Six Degrees Art Festival

6degrees.gifYou may not know it, but L.A. has a pretty vibrant DIY “underground” art scene. “Underground” usually only meaning “not in gallery and only for one night.” If you’ve ever been to Welcome to the Plastic Factory, Cannibal Flower, or Create:Fixate, you know the sort of thing I’m talking about. Well, fans of these kinds of events should be psyched to check out Six Degrees, a “2-day music and arts festival featuring LA’s hottest underground art events together under one roof,” and all going down this Saturday and Sunday downtown.

Besides the aforementioned Cannibal Flower and Create:Fixate, you can expect art from The Lab 101 and Transport Gallery, plus live music, food and some vendors. Basically the same stuff that you find at any of these events. But more importantly, they’re promising to donate at least $1,000 to the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation. So kick out some dough, cheapskate.

More “love” for the L.A. Times

Seen at the GLAAD website:


On July 23, the “Los Angeles Times” published a full-page ad by an anti-gay industry group called Exodus International that peddles a series of homophobic myths about gay people. The ad, featuring a man named Randy Thomas (whose role as Exodus’ communications director is not disclosed in the ad), fraudulently suggests that homosexuality is caused by absentee fathers and sexual abuse, that being gay or lesbian is synonymous with emotional problems, and that being gay is something that can and should be cured. The ad campaign — which, like Exodus itself, has ties to the largest anti-gay group in the country, Focus on the Family — was deemed acceptable by the Department of Advertising Standards at the “Los Angeles Times,” and, according to a representative from that department, by the advertising department’s upper management. However, the advertising department has declined to release its advertising standards so that the “Times'” readers can consider the company policy that led to the decision to run the ad.

To e-mail the “Los Angeles Times'” letters to the editor page, “Times” Readers’ Representative Jamie Gold, and Jerry Bluestein in the “Times'” Department of Advertising Standards, visit http://glaad.org/action/calls_detail.php?id=3693 and click on “TAKE ACTION!”

GLAAD is asking that they explain the “Times'” decision to print Exodus’ homophobic ad and ask that they disclose their standards for acceptable advertising. Such transparency will allow the Los Angeles community to make an informed decision about their support of a paper that opens its pages to ads and groups promoting an agenda of fear and intolerance toward our community.

The ad can be viewed at http://www.exodus.to/pdf/Randy_Ad.pdf (Adobe Reader required).

GLAAD Media Reference Guide
In Depth: “Ex-Gays” & “Conversion Therapy”

Love Angeles

This summer is all about the peace and love. Your Los Angeles Dodgers are experiencing winning ways during July, despite evidence to the contrary witnessed by your correspondent last (appropriately named) Sunday:

Dodger Stadium July 25 2004 Hans Camera Phone.jpg

The above cam photo is not over-exposed — it was bloody bright that afternoon. Fly balls, before bursting into flame in midair, would burn white-hot scars in your retina. A new tarpit appeared when the scorched earth cracked in right field, sucking down several fans and a ball boy before security stepped in. It was a group of Padre fans, though, so no great loss.

During the game, the melting Dodger Vision screen announced through the heat vapor that Lance Armstrong had indeed achieved victory, which drew warm applause from the smoldering crowd.

That same morning, The Artist Formerly Known As Diesel took out a full-page ad in the Times spreading the love and thanking fans for their support. A collective “awwwww” was heard across the basin.

And speaking of Love, Courtney is going to be in town for rehab. Watch her break and watch her burn.

And speaking of burning, park rangers are shutting down parts of one local national forest and are considering more closures to forestall the burning of what’s left of the bark-beetle-fodder on our mountains.

So the peace and love is suffusing the air like, well, a dark mass of smoky haze. Just another summer in the City of Angels. Go Blue!

What would you miss about L.A.?

After a 9 day business/pleasure trip to Montreal, I’m finally back and settling back into life in L.A.

I think I’d almost forgotten how to drive because I didn’t need to know how to get myself around town in Montreal. Be it the Metro, a cab, or my good ‘ol feet, road rage was the farthest thing from my mind while I was there. I certainly didn’t miss sitting in traffic while I was gone.

I did miss a few things about L.A. on my trip. I missed the hot & dry weather (it was hot and humid there… ick) and I also missed the food in L.A. I don’t know how many people told me that the food in Montreal was “so great,” and while it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great, either. Here in L.A., you get really spoiled to the great variety of cuisine available.

I also missed the $1 bill in the U.S. (not specifically an L.A. thing, I guess). In Canada, they have C$1 and C$2 coinage (no bills), so at the end of the day we’d be emptying out piles and piles of change onto the table.

As it’s vacation season and people are going to/from L.A., I’m wondering what other people miss & don’t miss about L.A. while on vacation.