Universal Studios Hollywood

Caryn and I went to Universal yesterday for her birthday. The main goal was to see JAWS pop out of the water. That ruled. The rest… not so much.

We had a good time making fun of people all day, but for the most part that place is G H E T T O. The “Van Helsing” ride (“ride” is bullshit – you have to walk yourself through) is *barely* a step above a haunted house at a traveling carnival – the entire thing boils down to 4 people jumping out saying “boo” or whatever. And I swear to god it’s the land of the 10 thousand ADD kids who, in addition to being possessed by satan, have parents who let them run completely wild and have zero concern for anyone else around them. And holy crap are people fat. And it’s official, it’s nineteen eighty-sucks fasion all over again. And WTF is up with the Jurrassic Park ride? Why didn’t they just put a dino hat on me and throw me in a pool? At least that would have been honest. And if 100 people fit in a room for a show, maybe just put 100 people in there rather than squeezing 250 in. IT’S DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE. I didn’t just fork out all that cash to be uncomfortable. I just posted some pics I snapped on my phonecam though out the day.

Maybe I’ll write more later. Maybe I’ll just try to forget it.

10 Replies to “Universal Studios Hollywood”

  1. You went to a theme park in the summer. Are you CRAZY?!!! Not even your ninja skills can help you there.

  2. I kinda miss the days when Universal Studio tour was just a tram snaking through the sound studios. They even stopped the tram and you walked through shooting sets. I remember walking through a Don Knotts movie set in the 60’s. It all got lame when they started adding cheesey fake floods and earthquakes and the fake rides. i unfortunately went there last summer after avoiding it for a couple of decades and was appalled at the over priced tackiness of it all.

  3. It is very lame. I went with a group of young teenagers, some of which even seemed as bored as I was! The best thing is indeed the studio tour. I would never go there if I had to pay for it myself. Dland is better.

  4. Oh MAN do I hate Universal Hollywood. Me and my ex went there while we were on vacation in Santa Monica. So we get to the ticket booth and decide to go all out and pay the80 or 90 bucks for “unlimited rides”. I was so excited because I really wanted to go on a bunch of big coasters.

    Much to my surprise, there Weren’t any darn coasters! I wanted to find the management and kill them. I was furious for being duped into paying all that money for really cheesy things, the Back to the future “ride” , terminator. God I hated it.

    What a gip. I will never set foot in a universal park again.

  5. >What a gip. I will never set foot in a universal park again.

    Well, the one in Florida is supposed to be awesome. They have the Hulk coaster and the Spider-Man ride. They also have a functional Marvel Mania restaurant. Hell yeah.

  6. hey i totally feel you. just be happy you didn’t have the guide stop the tram on an incline because the DVD was not timed “just right” and had some studio people jog pass you while the tram chug chugged along (it took 30 mins to get the tram going normally). this was after our tram broke down at the beginning of the trip and we had to wait 20 mins for another one. and no they didn’t let you go back and say screw it to the tram. and boy oh boy was i pissed when after all of this they changed the one cool thing left (snow tunnel) into the mummy returns tunnel, ruinging the effect :*(

  7. I had an ok time last time I went. The Shrek 4D thing was pretty cool and Back to the Future is always fun. But for the price of admission it’s a let down. I’d rather go to Disney. And yes, the children are evil everywhere. You gotta zen the fuck out to deal with it and not want to kill all the parents. If you let it get to you you’re doomed to a day of misery.

  8. Never been, probably never will unlesss some dorky out of towner comes to visit who really likes movie crap. But it cant be worse than the time we went to Magic Mountain & it was Southern California Cheerleading Association Day. We sincerely wished that a ride would malfunction, putting us out of our misery. Oh, the horror.

  9. i can see Universal from my office and there’s a building that explodes in flame every once in a while–i assume it’s a ride. anyway, i keep hoping it’ll get just a little out of control and take the whole park with it…

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