Tag Archives: Parking Tards

YO…sweetheart you ain’t handicapped

And you park funny too!

Sweet parking job...no handicap plate or hang tag...click to embiggen for plate number

Here I am sitting in the rather fast moving drive through line with a few cars behind me. Behind me is this Twenty-something with a kidlet. Suddenly she dives over to the side and goes into a Handicapped Parking Space…clearly signed and delineated in blue paint. She hops out, grabs a kid from the back seat who SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN A CAR SEAT and runs into the store. Seriously, having had a parent that was handicapped prior to his passing I know those spots are precious to those who need them. I wish a pox upon that little chirpy for taking the spot from one who could have used it.

Nice parking ace…did you really have to do it?

Hogging 2 compact spaces...click to embiggen

Ok…I’m in as much a hurry as anyone. Today was my neuro appt at Kaiser Sunset. Parking was always rough there until 2 years ago when they instituted complimentary valet parking. Its well signed too.

So…I left early to allow for parking dilemmas, and knew that if all else failed I could use the handy valet service.  Zipping around the corner in my nifty new compact I came across this idiot hogging 2 compact spaces.  Absolute genius.  Didn’t even make an effort to fit in one compact space, but angled in blocking another.  It was clearly marked as they pulled in “small car” and “compact car” only, a redundancy that escaped them.  The worst thing was that if they followed the signs up one more level they would have had the use of free valet service.

There’s an app being tried somewhere in Canada that will PAY people to report parking ‘tards such as this one.  Not sure when or if ever it will make it to L.A.  But when it does I will be rich.

Pic by me…love how the license plate glows in the dark.

Sigh…parking tards never quit

parking tard
Parking Tard in a Red Zone.

My phone sorta rang off the hook on this one.  I’m a neighborhood watch captain and everyone was in a tizzy over this one. Why?  Well my little neighborhood has ample street parking yet this tard opted to park in the red zone…for hours.

Will drivers ever learn to obey the parking zones or is it simply an issue of they are more important than the law?

On the Origins of Parking Tard-ism

Parking Douchebag
The most important person in the lot.

Ever see that guy parked perfectly straddling the line between two parking spots? If you’ve been reading this blog for much time at all, I suspect you have. Our own Matt Mason pondered whether a guy still in his car who drove off after being photographed constituted a parking d’bag (a more PC term). Continue reading On the Origins of Parking Tard-ism

Parking ‘Tards: City Employee Edition

Not a traffic stop; the officers were inside enjoying their lunch. Bigger with a click.
Not a traffic stop; the officers were inside enjoying their lunch. Bigger with a click.

For months I’ve been meaning to write something about Eastside Market & Deli (careful with that link, it’s got obnoxious auto-play music and no mute button.) If I recall correctly, I first heard about Eastside Market here at MetBlogs a few years ago. I’ve been a fan ever since, and thought it worth posting again to spread the word about the great sandwiches and other menu items.  This is not that post. I’ll just recommend the Number 7 (pastrami & roast beef) and lots of napkins. It’s a heart attack on a roll, but at least you’ll die happy. Very happy. I also recommend that you go for lunch, as Eastside Market closes at 3:30pm.

Same red curb, different day. Click to embiginate.
Same red curb, different day. Click to embiginate.

Though I don’t go to Eastside Market often, it seems that every time I’m there I find a LADWP truck or (usually) a LAPD patrol car parked at this red curb right on the corner of Alpine & Centennial. Sure, it’s the most convenient spot to park; it’s only a few steps away from Eastside Market’s front door. The curb is red for a reason, though. This is a bit of a blind corner to begin with, and having a vehicle (especially a big truck) parked there makes going around that corner downright dangerous.

This is a ringing endorsement for Eastside Market. In case you didn’t know, if you find a place that a lot of police frequent you know the food is going to be good. On the other hand, what makes city employees (particularly the ones charged with enforcing the law) think that parking laws do not apply to them?

Get yourself over to Eastside Market sometime soon for a great lunch. Don’t park next to the red curb, though. Apparently, that spot is reserved for Los Angeles city employees.

p’tard 1 and p’tard 2, Dr Seuss rhyme in the making?

The mischievous Cat in the Hat must have inspired tard 1 and tard 2 to misbehave at Kaiser Baldwin Park today. Just so you understand the situation where these tards parked the roadway makes a jog where two different parking structures were joined.  Both tards parked enough into the roadway to force peds to walk where the cars are driving.  Both cars obstructed regular travel as well.   Regardless, to get to there they had to drive past literally a couple of hundred empty spaces on the lots that wrap around the parking garages.

 I arrived at 10AM and spotted p’tard 1 decided to park his shiny new R/T on a cross walk, several feet down from the last legit parking space.  It was a nice day, not a bajillion degrees so who knows what lead to that asshat decision.  I did walk up close and checked, no handicap tags inside or outside, no sign of walkers, car seats or similar.


ptard 1 parked over the painted crosswalk
p'tard 1 parked over the painted crosswalk

About 10:30 I’m cruising outta Kaiser amazed how fast they got me through the flu shot clinic and I spot p’tard 2.  This p’tard did a follow the leader just like thing 2 woulda done.  He parked on the crosswalk further down from p’tard 1.  Ditto the peek in and saw no signs of kids or the aged and handicap stickers.  The rear was packed as if it were coming back from a weekend of pack ratting at garage sales, but nothing to indicate it deserved special parking privileges.  Clearly parked over the painted on sidewalk/crosswalk.


ptard 2 follows suit too and parks on the painted crosswalk
p'tard 2 follows suit too and parks on the painted crosswalk



To see the real kicker to this you have to make the jump. Continue reading p’tard 1 and p’tard 2, Dr Seuss rhyme in the making?

Little p’tard that could

FTW parking is alive in the SGV

This gem of a parking ‘tard (here after referred to as a p’tard) was spotted in Arcadia.  We see variations on the themes daily.  I’m at the point where I’m desensitized to most examples and just learn to roll with it.  This one was good.  To get to it he had to drive on the wrong side of the street.  He didn’t even bother with parallel parking, hell he just sorta drove up over the RED CURB angle parking style and walked away.  Gotta love those that don’t even attempt to make it look like an accident but go for the full in your face FTW I’ll do it however I damn well please kind of parking.

(pic by me with the trusty phone cam)