CNN: “…Ridge urged the public to be patient with stricter security measures “in the coming days and weeks” and to proceed with holiday plans despite the threat.”

I’m sorry, but isn’t a threat a THREAT? Like, if some dude came up to me waving a gun in my face and was like “Dude, give me your money or I’ll shoot you in the face.” See, that’s a threat. I couldn’t just proceed with my plans. I couldn’t just say “I’ll be sure to elevate my security measures in the coming days.” So what are we supposed to do? What’s the point of the alert if we’re supposed to just go about our business? Our duty is to be patient with high alert security as we spend an extra hour waiting in line, then worry about our plane blowing up the whole time we’re on it. Good system. Thanks. Anyway, because of all this, I’ve decided to sell all my WMDs, so if you’re interested, leave your number or whatever.

So my friends have me over saturday for a crazy night of monopoly. Which somehow was really different than the crazy sex and drugs I imagined it to be. Afterall, they’re artist type with artist type friends and they live in silverlake to boot. But maybe thats just me watching too many movies. But there’s something about their house that freaked me out. The bathroom. They don’t have a lock on it. Not that i was doing anything i would be ashamed of but you know, no lock. And they have all these jesus candles staring down at me too, like who could masturbate to that….err, not that I was thinking of doing that but just in general, thats a lotta jesus there. About a dozen? Also, my friends – very tall. Their toilet paper roll, not to the side but in front of the porcelain stall, a good foot and a half away. So if i’m sitting down, thats a long way to go – my ass is leaving the donut. It ain’t pretty it ain’t safe thats all i’m saying. And imagine if someone…not me but someone…was doing a judge reinhold from fast times. He’s gotta turn around to grab that tp.

Yea, thats what I kept thinking about as I left a party in the hip part of town. The bathroom.

Here’s an interesting, if not totally confusing/pointless, article in the LA Weekly on the art galleries in Chinatown. It kind of hints that Chinatown may be haunted and that’s why one of the gallery owners overdosed on heroin and another went temporarily insane but my theory is that’s just what happens when you run a gallery. Enjoy kiddies.

Mike Watt writes in and says:

“…tomorrow’s my birthday but there’s two other things that are more important going on then. one of them’s a benefit which I think if you can support then it would be great if you could come. both gigs have kira and me as dos but this benefit one at nine pm at di piazza’s lets us have the honor of trying maybe a tres kind of thing w/our little band cuz flea’s gonna come down and jam w/us. the third time mike martt has asked to us to play for the wooten center and I very much think it’s a good cause so come on and help out, please. the other event involves brother matt so you know it’s gotta be righteous too.”

So if you need plans for tomorrow, or need a good excuse to get out of some other plans, there you go.

6PM: brother matt’s “burrito day” celebration
at little pedro’s blue bongo cafe, 901 e. 1st st., los angeles, ca (213) 687-3766

9PM: a benefit for the wooten center
at di piazza’s, 5205 e. pacific coast highway, long beach, ca (562) 498-2461

Do not, DO NOT go to the Target in Glendale for the next two weeks. I can’t speak first hand about any of the other locations but I can say for certain going to the one in Glendale is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.

Anybody know where I can find Tiger’s Eye trinkets in the Valley? Jewelry or carvings would be great. I’ll get bonus points for original creations!

While clicking random links on blogs I came across Eat LA which is part blog, part food critic. Each entry is a review of a new place to eat. I just skimmed it and saw a lot of places I need to check out soon, as well as a few I need to go back to. There’s pretty much no info on who does it, or actually any info outside of the reviews, which is a pretty interesting take. The oldest entry is the only one not a review and says:

“I spend too much money on meals out, and I spend too much time talking to friends about restaurants and places to go in this city. Thus, this blog — to make me feel less guilty about the former, and to cut down on the latter.”

Sounds good to me. I added it to the LA Resource roll on the left. Enjoy!

There’s nothing that gets me into the Holiday spirit like watching the trendy set in their Uggs sweating it out on 3rd street doing last minute shopping.

Spotting all the Urban Outfitter’s types in their store bought but-made-to-look-hand-knitted scarves is like seeing Santa’s elves packing up the sleigh. It gives me goosebumps, really.

These sights would all be fine if we were not in the midst of a weeks worth of 70-75 degree weather.

I’m not suggesting it’s appropriate to pull out the summer slip dresses but please, shouldn’t these folks leave all the trendy winter accessories at home when the mercury rises?

It’s that time of year and everyone is doing top-ten lists and I thought it would be neat to do a top ten list for what went down in LA in the art scene this past year. I must admit, though this year has gone by fast, it was a long year so please let me know if I missed anything or need to add something!

So, in no particular order…

1. Best museum show ñ Laura Owens at MOCA

2. Best sixspace show ñ it’s like children, how do I choose? But some that are close to my heart are Seonna Hong, Richard Colman, ìGirls, Girls, Girls”, Shepard Fairey, & Chad Robertson.

3. Best gallery show ñ the first Millicent show

4. Best show that I missed ñ Marcel Dzama at Richard Heller (though I did get a sneak peak when the show was over) and Cecily Brown at Gagosian, Beverly Hills

5. Best emerging artist in 2003 ñ Rachell Sumpter

6. Best art purchase ñ Neil Farber (for my birthday) and a pirate painting by Camille Rose Garcia.

7. Best artist book ñ Clayton Brothers ìThe Most Special Day of My Lifeî

8. Best artist items ñ anything that Liz McGrath makes

9. Best new medium ñ embroidery

10. Best artist I finally met ñ Raymond Pettibon

And the worst? The passing of great friend and art patron Craig Myers…we miss you!

Test Post. Ignore.

So on Tuesday I spent the entire day at the Arclight seeing the entire run of Lord of the Rings. Fellowship and Two Towers extended versions and then finishing up with Return of the King. RotK is now in wide release and everyone is gushing over it so I will spare the details. I have to give it one “Holy fuck that was the best movie I’ve seen in YEARS!!!! And I feel my anus healing from the fisting I got from the Matrix sequels!” but I will stop now. There were many ren faire rejects there mucking up the works and more TV crews than at OJ’s trial but we got thru it. When I walked in the door I said “I wonder how many people will get fired today?” and we heard at least a dozen people bitching about the cams because they called in sick. Lesson. If you have a job that won’t let you out for an all day Lord of the Rings fest you need to get a new fucking job!!! If my boss said I couldn’t go to this we’d be out in the alley having it out. Fortunately my boss is pretty fucking cool and was trying to get me sent up for jury duty so he could rape my wallet and go in my stead. I prevailed and am the better for it but learn from my experience. We even got free trinkets and lanyards. I was in the front row too so if I was on the Jimmy Kimmell show I was the bored one in the leather jacket. oh wait, that was everyone. Anyway good stuff and I swear by the corpse of the velvet garbed tards in the restaurant that the Arclight is the best theater ever. 12 hours of film and not one talker or cell phone. And they have BOOZE! Rock the fuck on!

And I have to finish up with THIS. I’m still laughing. Props to Pirillo for the heads up! Maybe we beat BoingBoing on a good funny but I doubt it.

Last night I was temped by a Linda’s Lollies display at Gelsons and decided with flavors like peppermint, key lime pie, and chocolate marshmellow sundae I had to grab a few. Sure a buck is a lot for a lollipop but holy crap! These things are amazing. Both flavor wise and lifespan, I’ve been sucking on one for almost an hour now and the size has barely changed at all. (I can’t wait to see that line taken out of context.) I pretty sure I’ll be adding these to my usual shopping list.

I thought all the art happenings in Los Angeles were over for 2003 but nope! four x four opens a solo show by Chris Yormick called “Holding Weight” this Friday from 5-8 pm. Yormick work is the increasingly popular mix of cartoony characters, roughly painted (complete with drip-marks) on canvas, board, and other materials.

four x four gallery (located at 6316 Yucca Street) is a part of the urban store four x four that is owned by the modern architectural and design firm Otto Design Group. So go, see the show, buy some presents for the kiddies, and all that jazz. In case you miss the opening, the show continues through January 24th.

What the hell, the holidays are around and its just a buzzkill around. Lets put things in proper perspective shall we.

Too bad, so sad. So there’s been a rumor that a friend of mine is taking anti-depressants. And I’m going “What?!”. What does he have to be depressed about, he’s got a home, he’s got freedom of food and he’s getting sex too. So why so glum chum. If anyone has to be depressed, its my kitty. She gets fed the same canned friskies food every day for 3 meals in a row and isn’t allowed to leave the house. The kitty’s name is sandwich but hell, that might not even be her name, maybe she has her own name, which explains why she never listens. My cat, stuck all day in this house with no toys (she seems to be fine playing with pens, scraps of paper and hand me down toysthankstypefiend) probably has all her friends on the outside, living a life of leisure and next thing you know, held prisoner in a yellow apt. building. They say that kittens aren’t likely to survive on the outside. Its probably some purina propaganda. Give me those pills. Someone here needs them more than you do.

BloggerLA. So people aren’t happy with the double posting. Well start paying us and we’ll start writing extra shit. I ain’t like the purple one who’s so prolific in his writing that he can pass over manic monday to the bangles – and where are they now? Playing at hollywood park maybe? And too many self-promo going on? Geeze, read like you’re driving a car. Once you realize, this ain’t the right way, make a u turn. Or are your reading skills like a big catapillar bulldozer. Once it goes one way, can’t stop til you get to the end. Oh wait, I’ve hardly been posting, that email must have directed to someone else.

Bush and sadam. Hooray for you. But don’t tell us its for human right issues or weapons of mass destruction. Thanks to the “information highway”, don’t try spinning that shit on us. Where are these wmd’s and if you wanted someone for crimes against humanity, why not kim jong-il of north korea. Or at least his hair cutter. Its nasty over there. Oh yea, kim chee doesn’t sell as well as oil.

And my favorite prostitute disconnect her cel phone. Now thats a bitch.