Oops, I Crapped My Pants

April 22, 2004 at 5:10 pm in Uncategorized

Everyone who has been to, lived in, or seen a television program or movie about Los Angeles knows that we have a traffic problem. However, there is one freeway in particular that causes seemingly rational people to either drive like narcoleptic turtles or curse like a longshoreman with Tourette’s syndrome. The freeway I am referring to is the old portion of California’s route 110, also known as the “Historic Arroyo Seco Parkway” or “Sweet Mother Of God, I Think I Just Shat Myself”.
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Gird thy loins! Free Cone Day Approacheth!

April 22, 2004 at 4:07 pm in Uncategorized

Time for those of you who aren’t lactose intolerant to start the countdown timer. This Tuesday, April 27th, is Ben & Jerry’s Annual Free Cone Day. For lots of us in the middle of the city, this is going to be a first. Formerly, the closest B&J’s stores were in Burbank and Century City and that’s just way too far to drive for some ice cream. But my how things have changed. The newly-opened West Hollywood Gateway (just blocks from Chez 5G!) sports a shiny new Ben & Jerry’s scoop shop. If you’re looking for a store in some other part of the city or want to know if your local store is participating, just eyeball this.

I wonder if they’ll have cheesecake

April 22, 2004 at 9:08 am in Uncategorized

olivia_mirror.gifI got this in the ol’ e-mail inbox a while ago and saved it ‘specially for you:

Thursday, April 22nd is Bettie Page’s Birthday!

Come celebrate the legendary pin-up star’s 81st birthday at The Erotic Museum. The evening features screenings of rare Bettie Page films, unreleased Bettie Page photographs, the contemporary feature Bettie Page: Dark Angel and a presentation by filmmaker Nico B. Plus, leave your own birthday wish for Bettie on video!

All this, plus the full Museum exhibition, a cash bar and a swinging soundtrack upstairs for the regular price of admission.

APRIL 22, 2004
8:00PM – 12:00AM
The Erotic Museum
6741 Hollywood Blvd.
1 block East of Highland

For more information, please call 323-463-7684 ext. 105.

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by la_koga


April 21, 2004 at 2:35 pm in Uncategorized


I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw the commercials advertising this upcoming miniseries on NBC called 10.5, which deals with a 10.5 magnitude earthquake on the West Coast, especially considering the fact that I’ve been a through big earthquakes myself.

The link to FEMA seems out of place though. :P

The Pink Lady of Malibu

April 21, 2004 at 2:34 pm in Uncategorized

pinklady1.jpgDid any of you know about the 60-foot-high image of a naked woman that once graced the entrance of a Malibu Canyon tunnel in Malibu Canyon? No, neither did I! Snooping around on Snopes, I ran into this keen as beans true story about a 1966 landmark that brought traffic to a halt way before Chaka was even suckling as a wee tagger-to-be. Lynne Seemayer (now Lynne Westmore), then a 31-year-old secretary from my hometown of suburban Northridge, worked for months to erase the tagging/graffiti that adorned a tunnel entrance at Malibu Canyon Road and went on to paint a nude buxom beauty with housepaint and brushes! Graf muralists recognize!

Forseeing potential traffic jams (motorists were already stopping their cars along the road to gaze) and accidents caused by distracted drivers, Los Angeles county officials quickly decided that the Pink Lady had to go. Early eradication efforts failed spectacularly: firefighters were unable to wash the Pink Lady away with their high-power hoses, and the liberal application of paint remover only deepened the blush of her pink skin. (Seemayer had used house paint for her creation, a substance which proved quite difficult to remove.)

Sadly The Pink Lady only survived for 5 days, as “onlookers booed in disapproval, county workers blanked out the scarcely five-day-old Pink Lady with 14 gallons of brown paint.” She fought the law, and the law won.

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by la_koga


April 21, 2004 at 12:09 pm in Uncategorized

So the California Highway Patrol recently launched a website designed to bust California residents who drive with out-of-state plates:

Report Vehicles with Out-of-State License Plates to the CHP

Did you know that the State of California loses millions of dollars a year in revenue from California residents who unlawfully register their vehicles in other states or countries?

Did you know that vehicle registration fees are due immediately upon accepting employment or establishing residency in the State of California?

Did you know that California law permits only 20 days to complete the process of registering your vehicle without paying a penalty?

The three most common reasons for not completing the registration process are:

  1. People are unaware of California registration laws.
  2. People are evading payments of registration fees and taxes.
  3. People are unable to comply with air pollution control laws.

I don’t know about you, but the next time an out-of-towner pisses me off with their lack of driving abilities, I’ll be sure to jot down their license plate and report their ass on that website so I can have some measure of revenge.

BTW, I was completely off on talking about Adultcon, which is taking place on May 16th, which is obviously *next month*. For some reason I had a brain fart and thought it was this past Sunday. Whoops, my bad! :(

Electric Traction Heritage

April 21, 2004 at 11:40 am in Uncategorized

Visiting the front page of the Electric Railway Historical Association of Southern California will result in a bit of confusion. Looks interesting, but hard to say what’s there exactly. Some detective work will be worthwhile as you find some precious historical perspectives. Like these awesome electric trams that used to run between Santa Monica and Venice:


And there’s much more.
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April 20, 2004 at 7:11 pm in Uncategorized

Now that you feel fabulously wealthy because you gots a fat tax refund coming (ok, just pretend that you do, you poor poor fool), you’re thinking, “Golly gee, what is the best way to not put this money to good use?” Of course I’m going to answer that question because why would I ask it if I weren’t going to answer it?

I just got a Ghost World Enid doll! So in your sad little attempt to emulate my life, you must go forth and seek out your Enid as well. She’s full of contempt, she’s bitchy, and she’s got a big ol’ fat ass in the movie! Yay, Enid! (the doll comes with that awesome sex store cat mask, too!) You go now.

enid doll.jpeg

PS Might I suggest moseying on over to Meltdown on Sunset? In addition to Enid, you can also purchase lots of Los Bros Hernandez books there and what kind of monster doesn’t want that?

In shock…

April 20, 2004 at 3:56 pm in Uncategorized

This (not a joke) was posted on my site (before MT broke) by my friend ProfessorEric:

Ok, sorry to drop a heavy one on you but i need to get this out there… i was just driving on the PCH running an errand and out of the blue a car swerves and loses control and flies over the guardrail, over the oncoming traffic, and over the side of the PCH toward the ocean. I have never seen anything like that. i have seen accidents after the fact, i have even seen people dangling upside-down in their vehicle under the 10 freeway. but i have never seen anything so horrible happen right in front of me. We all slowed down for a moment trying to figure out what we as random motorists could do, and a few people quickly pulled over and took out their cell phones, and the rest of us just kept going. I feel horrible. I wish i had stopped and checked to see if the people in that car were ok, but i was already far past them when i came back to my senses. i am so fucked in the head right now. all i have to say is tell everyone close to you how much you care about them. we never know when we will be snatched away. I am not a religious person in any way, but i prayed to something, to everything, that these people somehow survived. ok. enough venting. thank you all for reading our little web page of nonsense. glad to somehow be a little part of your lives. -professoreric

Incidentally, if anyone can help me with my broken MT problem, this post accidentally got posted twice to the site and when I was deleting one of the posts, something happened during the rebuild and we are no longer able to log in.

Eeek all around.

The Manly Homemaker

April 20, 2004 at 9:56 am in Uncategorized

Every relationship has to learn how to compromise and find the middle ground for decisions. I got the house style I always wanted. My husband got to install the kitchen of his dreams. And this kitchen remodel (well, more like first floor remodel, but that’s another story) has caused me to reflect on current design for the home.

What I found is that men are more involved in these things than I had previously realized. Browsing through the flooring stores, the home improvement warehouse and the appliance stores I saw couples. I saw men expressing deep interest in faucets and carpets and light fixtures. I realized that manufacturers realize this. They must have realized it a few years ago and I’m just catching up.

There’s a general masculinizing of houses and product design going on. Take for example this new vacuum cleaner: The Dyson DC07. How can a man not look at that and want one. It’s the manliest vacuum I’ve ever seen. It’s got Root8Cyclone(TM) technology! Go there and watch that flash animation about how the suction works and tell me you’re not excited about it! I’m not kidding, did you watch it? It boasts that it’s the only vacuum with a quick draw hose! It’s like a lawnmower for the living room rug.
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Dodgeball LA

April 20, 2004 at 9:38 am in Uncategorized

I just joined Dodgeball. It’s like Friendster and Tribe but works with your mobile phone and lets you know when your friends are near you in your city – in my case: Los Angeles. Problem is I have no other friends on there yet, and even though the system supports FOAF, I don’t have a FOAF file to upload. So, uh.. yeah. Go sign up.

Big ol’ spawns

April 20, 2004 at 8:25 am in Uncategorized

Not that we needed it, but here’s proof that the Giants are spawns of Satan. ;)

Oh, and the Dodgers are #1 in the Majors, baby, thanks to a sweep of the hated Bay Area demonic horde. I guess Milton Bradley has worked out after all.


April 19, 2004 at 11:25 pm in Uncategorized

In SF, I used Craigslist for everything. Within minuites of posting something, I’d typically get a handful of responses. Heck, even my dog made the ‘best of’ at one point. Today, however, I’ve come to the sad realization that nobody in LA uses this resource like I do. I need to get rid of my Happy Fun Complete Bedroom Set post haste, but… I must be screwing up a keyword or two. No inquiries, whatsoever. I’m left with an unused set of furniture… and a scary picture of Ponzi’s Great Aunt Sally.

America Motel

April 19, 2004 at 11:04 pm in Uncategorized


Cinco de Mayo is only two & a half weeks away…

April 19, 2004 at 5:56 pm in Uncategorized

… what are you going to do?