Gizmodo gives the deets on a Santa Monica company, Device Nine Six, that will laser engrave your iPhone for you, if you’re not faint of heart (not me, Dr. Jones).

They include a demonstration video showing one lucky iPhone getting the laser treatment. Hey, what is that logo they’re putting on there anyway? Could it be…?

Basically I blame our fearless leader Sean Bonner for fixating me on this parking signage. A couple weeks ago we were biking to one of our weekly rides and as we passed this stretch of Sunset through Silver Lake he pointed it out to me and gave one of his signature “what the fuck’s up with that shit?” and I’ve been wondering the same thing since.

What the fuck’s my problem? Well, I don’t know if I’d quantify it as a problem, but I can see why you’d think there are infinitely better topics to waste this stretch of pixels on (and if so I’m pretty sure you’ll let me know point blankly so in the comments). But if you really wanna know, my “problem” is that there’s no need for this sign. Never mind the issues some might have with such a loooooong interval of parking being allowed, the fact is that be it 18-wheeler, skunkweed-smelling party bus, ramshackle RV or Range Rover, parking is allowed for the entire 10 hours during the 10 hours that exist betwen 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. and then for however long you want thereafter. In other words: you can’t get a ticket.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but a parking enforcement officer can’t roll up on a ride parked here at any time before 8 a.m. or after 6 p.m and come back 10 hours and a minute later and give out a ticket for exceeding the posted time limit. The only time they can give a ticket is if a vehicle exceeds the posted limits, which it couldn’t do even if it wanted to. So what we have here is basically city authorized 24-hour free parking. There’s not even a restriction for street cleaning, and the fact that this unenforceable rule is not enforced on Sundays is just redundantly ludicrous.

Busy night on Franklin, part 3 of 3 (part 1… part 2)

After the unsuspicious package and the mangled car wreck, I was hoping to call it a night – needed sleep for today’s Dragon Boat Race. Back at home, I heard some yelling outside – drunkards, nothing unusual, so at first I ignored it. Five minutes later, the shouting continued, so I headed up to the roof to see what the commotion was.

There, on the corner of El Cerrito Pl. and Franklin were four club kids, two of them dead ringers for Bruno. They were trying to shout down cabs… and assorted comments at other passing vehicles… and trying to flirt with the girl from my building who’d been woken up and yelled at them to shutup.

If they were serious about getting a cab, this would never end. Its Los Angeles. You don’t hail cabs here. At least not in a residential area on Franklin.

Knowing full well that if the police didn’t respond to the accident, they sure as hell wouldn’t care about some inebriated Eurotrash causing a public disturbance. Best I could do would be head down, and ask them politely to shut their pie holes.
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So, I was in the Kuh-Mart today, because there is no S-Mart.
(“Shop smart, Shop S-Mart.” Anybody? C’mon! Army of Darkness? “This is my Boom-stick!” Anybody? Really people…)

Anyway, I was at the Kuh-Mart today, finding my way around. They have remodeled and changed things around quite a bit since they bought Sears. As I was doing so, I noticed the strangest thing: internet kiosks. W’huh? It even said “K-Mart Internet Cafe” on the wall above the neat little row of computers. And get this, it’s Free.

After the jump we’ll take a look at Today’s Blue Light Special on Public Internet Access.
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Busy night on Franklin, part 1 of 3

Can you believe anyone would boo John Williams? But it happened, last night at the Hollywood Bowl, right after he performed the Star Wars suite and introduced his next selection: Memoirs of a Geisha. Indeed, it caused a distrubance in the force, causing many of the lightsabers that swarmed the audience to dim.

But thats not what this post is really about.

Walking home from the show, down Highland, and then turning right on Franklin, I noticed a number of police cruisers keeping away traffic north of the boulevard. I approached a small crowd of people up at Orchid and Bonita and asked what was going on.

A “suspicious package” was found outside the apartment down closer to Hillcrest, and police had evacuated the apartment building. (map here)

One twenty-something woman, who refused to be identified (and then clammed up when I said I wanted to write about it), took responsibility for calling the cops three hours prior (!) after she noticed a strange box sitting beside a stop sign outside the front door. What worried her was that it said it was from “Bolivia”, and a friend of her’s who lived on the ground floor happened to be from Bolivia.

When the police showed up, she said, they opened the box to find another box, and inside THAT box another box. And another box inside that one. At some point, the cop reached inside one box and supposedly said they felt wires of some sort, got nervous, then called in the bomb squad.
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I caught a little bit of our Governor Schwarzeneggar on NPR this morning, talking about climate change and his goal of making California a world leader in rolling back carbon emissions. It got me wondering about a few things. Warning: rambling ahead.

People hate this guy. At least many of the liberal/lefties that I run with. But it’s mostly based on a dumb joke – the inarticulate Terminator is our leader. Quelle horreur! Never mind that 1) Republicans and conservatives are not going to vanish anytime soon. Liberals need to accept that and figure out a way to live with it and; 2) If you stacked up all the major Republicans by how close or far they are from liberal policies, Schwarzeneggar is practically a Democrat.

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Downtown is a forest of neighborhoods and districts. A five-minute walk around my apartment brings me through the Historic Core, the Jewelry District, the Financial District, Bunker Hill, the Arts District, the Old Bank District, Gallery Row, Scullery Row, Little Ulaanbaator and the Accountancy District. What’s a perplexed navigator to do?

We here at the Jay Bushman Institute for Personal Cartography are here to help. We’ve created a whole new neighborhood, and we call it Librarytown.

Librarytown is still a work in progress. As of now it mostly overlaps with the Financial District, but let’s be honest – calling a place the Financial District is pretty boring unless you’re an investment banker. It’s centered, surprisingly, around the axis of the Library Tower (sorry U.S. Bank), the Central Library and Library Bar. It goes as far northeast as 4th and Main, encompassing Lost Souls Cafe. The Southeastern corner is somewhere past Seven Grand. It stretches South far enough to claim the new Ralphs. It’s Western edge is murky at the moment, but may go all the way to the 110. Librarytown’s borders are someone flexible at the moment – one of the benefits of personal cartography.

Now, who do I see about getting some of those neighborhood signs put up?

(Photo from Wikipedia)

I’m a card-carrying Felt Club member (no secret) so certainly you’ll be expecting to hear my plug of FELT CLUB XL, happening this weekend.

Tired of listening to me go on about Felt Club? Check out what the LA Times has to say about it!

Sunday, JULY 15
11am-7pm
UCC (Ukranian Cultural Center)
4315 MELROSE AVE, LA CA

New to Felt Club? Then please to enjoy a hunk of their press info:
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[click for max hotness - photo from imdb by joe quinto photography]

Admit it – the bad guy is always the most desirable.

I got my chance to prove this yet again last Saturday night. We’d gotten ourselves all riled up at the Lampshades show, and were headed out to dinner with Kate after.

Included in our plans were her buddies Kristen Bell(Veronica Mars) and Zachary Quinto, SYLER from Heroes!

I have to admit not watching Veronica Mars, but I sure as hell knew who Syler was!

Surprising: For the evilest villain in the world, he was so nice!

Disappointing: The fact that he didn’t even once try to eat my brain could only mean one thing – I have no powers. Bummer.

Nevertheless, a good time was had by all – and a time that would never ever be had outside our wonderfully surreal city. Yeah, maybe NYC, but then again maybe not.

Map of Ground Zero. (Enlarge)

Here’s a friendly public-service notice from IAAL-MAF that you might want to read after you’ve had your lunch:

As veterans of our infamous Taint Ride well know, Vernon reeks.

In fact, some downtowners are so sick of the roiling stench that oozes downwind from the slaughterhouses and carcass-rendering plants in Vernon that a few of them just launched StoptheSmell.org a petition drive they hope will somehow put an end to it …
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The Smoking Gun shares the rider for Mandy Moore’s backstage demands. No sign of sandwich catastrophes here – just some low key comforts. Dig the requirement for “Good Coffee.” What do you think she considers to be good coffee? Does Mandy know the blissful joy that is King’s Road Coffee? If not, I’m sure Sean will volunteer to introduce her to it. But once exposed, she might become more demanding backstage.

Here’s a confession: Before I moved to LA I didn’t drive. I bought a car and learned to drive because everyone said–and I have always believed–you cannot live happily in this city as a non-driver. So how surprised was I to learn that LA is above the national average for public transportation use. The US Census Bureau just released a data set that breaks down how people get to work city-by-city. (It’s true: I am enough of a complete geek that I subscribe the US Census’ feed. So sue me.)

While I wasn’t surprised to read that “about half of the nation’s public transportation commuters can be found in 10 of the nation’s 50 cities with the most workers age 16 or over,” I didn’t expect to see LA on that list. Shows what I know. On average 4.7% of United Statians take public transportation to work, while 10.3 of Los Angelenos do. We rate higher than average on carpooling (11.7% versus 10.7% nationally), bicycling (.6% versus .4% nationally), working from home (4.7% compared to 3.6%), and even walking to work (3.2% in our fair city, 2.5% in the country as a whole). I know living in Encino and working in Chatsworth, as I do, does not exactly grant one an accurate lens through which to view the city as a whole, but still….I’m pretty blown away by the fact that LA is above the mean in every category. I don’t know whether to be proud of LA or distressed about the country as a whole.

A few months back, Blogdowntown linked to a list of the Top Ten Bloggiest Neighborhoods, which had Downtown L.A. as #3 in the country.

Being #3 didn’t sit well with me. So last week, I moved downtown and increased the blogging density.

#2 Shaw better watch out, ’cause we’re coming for them.

(Photo from Wikipedia)

Aloha!

The Hawai’i Inter-Club Council of Southern California is holding their annual Ho’olaule’a (Festival) on July 21 and 22nd this year. The spot is Alondra Park in Lawndale (here’s a map) and the festival runs from 9am to 6pm on Saturday and 9am to 5pm on Sunday. A full schedule of the entertainment is here. There will be hula halau (hula troops) and singing groups from all over So-Cal, as well as booths filled with crafts, clothing and kau kau (food).

For a kama’aina (from Hawai’i) like me, the best part will be the kau kau: manapua and spam musubi and lau lau and poi!!!11! Broke da mouth, brah! My good friend Sarah (who I went to high school with) turned me on to the festival and has attended for the last couple of years. She reports it is a great day for the whole family — bring a couple of blankets and pic-nics and hats and umbrellas and relax. This will be the first year I will finally be able to attend (though I will have to sacrifice some Harry Potter reading time) as I’ve been out of town during the ho’olaule’a for the last couple of years.

The food will be the easy/fun part. The hardest part for me, keiki o ka ‘aina (child of the land) will be the singing of the “Hawai’i Pono’i” (Hawai’i National Anthem) at the start of the day and then singing “Hawai’i Aloha” at the end. Both songs make me cry–my eyes are stinging right now just thinking about it. You can take the girl out of Hawai’i, but you can never take Hawai’i out of the girl.

Aloha.

(photo from Wikipedia.)

As you probably already know, the 12 screen Landmark Theaters opened at the Westside Pavilion a few weeks ago. This is very exciting for us Westside movie-goers, though being almost a bigger Arclight fan than some people, it still doesn’t match the (mostly) fabulousness of the Arclight. However, it does beat that other theater hands down for me in one important respect — I can walk to the Landmark.

Even more exciting, after a year of construction, is that the Barnes & Noble store finally reopened on June 27th. And how are they celebrating?!?!?! By being open and selling books. Apparently I’m the only one who is really excited about it. Yes, I know there are arguments to be made about chain bookstores beating out independent bookstores and that is bad. Personally, I support just about any kind of store that sells books. Books are good. Mmmmmbooooooks.

If you are coming to the Westside Pavilion see a movie or buy a book (or buy a book of the movie you just saw or see the movie of the book you just read, or even just going to the shopping mall to shop) I have a hot parking tip.
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