“Second Street Tunnel!”
“Sixth Street Bridge!”
“Parkview Hotel!”
“Northwest corner of Normandie and 23rd!”
“Johnnies Coffee Shop!”
“Natural History Museum!”

Stupid shit like that. Maybe even shamelessly augmented with a “booyah!” or a “yeeeeeah boooooiiiiee!” or a fist-pump as if I’ve not already made enough of a fool of myself. What can I say; it’s a curse knowing my city. Susan will agree.

And the curse continues with the Chrysler 300 commercial that’s currently making the heavy rotation across the TV spectrum (YouTube link) featuring Dr. Dre tooling all over town  in a car-that-goes-boom and finishing up at the end of the ad with “This is LA. This is what we do.”

Trouble is apparently one of the things Dre do is drive southbound on Silver Lake Boulevard below the Sunset Boulevard bridge on the wrong of the street (and past the requisite hoodlum out for an after-hours jog with his requisite pitbull; click to biggify):

Booyah!

Yo Gabba Gabba @ Meltdown Comics

Yo Hipsters, Comic Book Nerds & Alcoholics Anonymous Members (you know who you are)… if you fall into one of these categories, then make sure to clear your Friday night to check out the opening reception of “Here is my Art” A Yo Gabba Gabba Gallery Show at Meltdown Comics on Sunset.

Curated by Julia Vickerman, the art director & co-creator of Yo Gabba Gabba! This show pulls together work from the likes of Christian Jacobs, Leslie Hall, Mark Mothersbaugh, Parker Jacobs, Brandon Bird, Jesse Ledoux, Charlyne Yi, Carlos Ramos, Deanna Rooney, Joel Fox, Kali Fontecchio, Myke Chilian, Dylan Sprouse, Joel Trussell, Erin Pearce, Kevin Sukho Lee, Julia Vickerman & David Wain. Which takes care of the hipsters who love the show & the comic book nerds who’ve followed the careers of several of these artists…

And for the alcoholics & those in recovery alike, the adorable duo of Alie & Georgia will be on hand whipping up a Yo Gabba Gabba cocktail which will be sure to surprise, tingle and amaze your taste-buds.

So mark it in your calendar.

Friday, June 3rd
7pm – 10pm

Meltdown Comics
7522 West Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(323) 851-7223
http://www.meltcomics.com/

– the reality show celebrity/mom telling her little kids about the “lady with a face like plastic”;

– the actor from “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”;

– the music producer-looking guy with the very long grey pouffy hair and dark sunglasses (yeah, that guy);

– the flight attendant asking you if you’re a particular actor, and then threatening to check the passenger manifest when you say “no”; and

– the Lady with the Face like Plastic.  It really was, and I guess I’m really back home.

Big Brother is one of those guilty pleasures I still admit to watching. I know it’s rotting my brain from the inside out but screw it, life is short. So if you’re a narcissistic loony who likes to be on camera 24/7 you should head down to Spot 5750 tomorrow from 1pm to 4 pm and try your luck at the open auditions. You can download the online application before you head down. Good luck!

This was from last week’s episode: Bart is nominated for an Oscar (Best Animated Short, natch) and the Simpsons go to Hollywood.  Wary of Homer hogging all the credit for the movie on his big night, Bart sends him on a, er, special tour of LA-area landmarks.  The Watts Towers is one of our greatest landmarks that no one visits, and naming the Cerritos Auto Square as a “must-see attraction” is very funny, very cruel joke to would-be tourists — but what struck me the most was that certain locations actually are named!  Take, for example, the El Toro Y: this would be the official name of the freeway clusterfuck where the 5 and 405 merge.  The California Incline is what I always, always miss when I’m trying to get off PCH and back into Santa Monica.  And Chatsworth is, as the local residents helpfully explain to Homer, where “the 118 meets Topanga Canyon, fool.”

Me, I would have added Worthington Ford, Tito’s Tacos, and the WTF that is where Virgil turns into Hillhurst as it meets Hollywood Blvd., Sunset Blvd., and Sunset Dr. Oh, and donuts: despite Homer’s penchant for donuts, none of LA’s donut icons made it onto the list.  Too bad, as a donut crawl definitely would have kept everyone infinitely more entertained than the “Dead. In. The. Water.” ceremony that was Sunday. Actually, doing anything on that list, including the sad atrocity that is The Beverly Connection, would have been far, far more satisfying than watching that ceremony.  Next year around this time, you’ll know where to find me.

Honest to goodness celebrities: Kevin O'Connor and Norm Abram

When you hear Reality Show you might first think of Survivor or American Idol, Top Chef or Project Runway. If you are a fan of PBS you probably think of the first and finest reality show of them all: This Old House. And after nearly 30 years on the air, TOH has come to Los Angeles for its first ever LA remodel. (Watch the video sneak peak here.)

You might find it hard to believe that there is actually anything “old” in LA to renovate, right? Since we are famous for our facelifts and all. This sweet Spanish Revival house in Silver Lake is getting more of a “gentle spa treatment” than an “ass-fat injection to the cheekbones” operation. The original two bedroom, one bath floorplan was fine for the married couple when they moved in 12 years ago, but now with two small kids, it was time for more space and more bathrooms.

This Old House is about education and part of every house redo series includes stories of the local craftspeople who work on various details of the house. Look for visits to the tile company that recreates 30′s style tile for the bathrooms and kitchen, the iron workers making new wrought iron and the roofers who reuse the old roof tiles and tell you the history of how these 70 year old tiles were originally made. TOH will also visit Frank Lloyd Wright houses and Richard Neutra sites so we can all see that LA actually has some awesome architectural street cred.

The homeowners Kurt and Mary were not looking for the limelight (far from it), but were very pleased to have their general contractor approach them to be part of the show. What better record of your home remodel than a full documentation on This Old House? Plus you get to meet master carpenter Norm Abram!! (Seriously that guy rocks the woodwork.)

This Old House: The Los Angeles Project begins airing on KOCE this Thursday (1/27) at 7:00pm. (Check your local listings as different cable/dish providers may have a different schedule.)

Kevin, Norm, Mary and Kurt (Homeowners), Steve Pallrand (General Contractor)

(All Photos by Image Group LA and used with permission by This Old House.)

(Full disclosure: I am friends with the homeowners, but sadly I have not met Norm.)

Removing the injured and taking off literally nanoseconds before the span collapses, I’m rapt wondering if this is a spot for Skyline, Harry Potter and the I Don’t Give a Crap, or perhaps one final political ad from Meg Whitman, until the familiarity of the location breaks the spell and I grab the remote and take myself back to the bridge. Sure enough, I pause the scene and grab the cam:

(click image to maximize)

Though I’d guess the US Air Force recruitment commercial is trying to conjure up a New Orleans bridge over the Mississippi, what you’re really looking at above is a downtownward-looking angle from our very own historic 6th Street Viaduct, albeit augmented with severe storm crap (is that part of a house?) atop a heavily CGI’d river flowing below it, literally bank-to-bank.

Ironically, there’s some truth in the apocalyptic ad showing the bridge falling apart, because indeed it slowly is. The concrete made on-site when the Merrill Butler-designed landmark was completed in 1932 is slowly failing.

From the Bridge’s Wiki page:

The quality of the concrete turned out to have a high alkali content and lead to an alkali-silica reaction which creates cracks in the concrete and saps the strength of the structure. Current estimates are that the viaduct has a 70% probability of collapse due to a major earthquake within 50 years.

photo courtesy Colin Remas Brown

While Los Angeles pines for an NFL team to come back, we should feel proud that Conan O’Brien didn’t retreat back to New York after his Tonight Show gig was abruptly cancelled.

Conan’s return to broadcast television at 11pm will be beamed from the site of his new studio on Burbank’s Warner Brothers lot, where fans waited outside in the rain as early as 7am for a chance to be part of the audience (see pic).

Does anyone have any doubts that he’ll not only beat Jay Leno in the ratings, but also Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert?

Halloween detritus -- my favorite kind

L.A., how was your Halloween?  I went to the 4th annual Halloween party held by one of my writer’s group friends.  We had amazing dj music courtesy of the big outdoor Mexican wedding next door.  And we had an always enjoyable theatrical bent to many of the costumes.  These included:

–Maleficent from “Sleeping Beauty”
–The Cure’s Robert Smith as a goth zombie, or “Gombie.”  I didn’t realize how much he looks like Edward Scissorhands.
–A pink Crayola crayon
–A Renaissance Vampirella
–Waldo
–A Killer Bee
–The Bride of Frankenstein
–A crazed Laker fan (aren’t they all?)
–Charlie Brown
–Eddie Munster

Surprisingly, we had no “Jersey Shore” cast members, and no politicians.  But we had some topical characters, including a Chilean miner and a couple from “Dancing With the Stars,” albeit with a fishnet twist.  And, perhaps appropriately, our costume contest winner was a tv character: Tina Fey/Liz Lemon from “30 Rock,” including rectangular glasses, clipboard, and bag of Sabor de Soledad Mexican cheese puffs.

So, how about you? Any standout costumes at your Halloween wardrobe (mal-)functions?

We attended a Writer’s Guild Panel a few years ago about his legacy and career and no one had a bad thing to say about him. He was clearly a man who was open to helping anyone out, offering support and creative criticism and encouragement to all who showed gumption and talent. His own work ethic was legendary, cranking out scripts after script and later, novel after novel.

Mr. Cannell’s work might not be considered “art” but he created entertaining, fun, full-of-life tv. He will be sorely and sadly missed by so many in the business, myself included.