[clicking is the path to enlightenment]

Need an authentic Hundu deity or two for your living room? How about a fully decked opium bed? Or maybe a few jeweled Indian wedding scarves?

If this sounds good to you then you should know the best place in LA to find this stuff is the Koan Collection. These guys scour the earth to bring you the best of old and new from India, Indonesia, Nepal, and Thailand.

And guess what? Today is the first day of their big weekend clearance sale.

Expect drastic markdowns on furniture, fabrics and accessories, and the people who run the place are super nice too.

Koan Collection
6109 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90038
(323).464.3735

[apologies for overuse of exclamation points]

No time to blog – The Little Knittery is having a HUGE sale!

Books, magazines, and the most glorious yarns, many at 75% OFF!

I was in there right when they opened at 11am and it was already like a Lucy episode – the tiny store jammed with people, all scurrying to hoard the best stuff.

The amazing handspuns, hand-dyeds, cashmere, and even the Misti Alpaca is on sale!!

Also, all books and mags are on sale – 15 to 75% off!! (That includes the
new Rowan Studios magazines!)

Today (Sat) Only
11-7

The Little Knittery
4712 Franklin Avenue
Los Angeles, CA. 90027
(323)660-0294

I stopped at the TJ’s on Ventura near Laurel Canyon today for emergency supplies (beer and wine and some frozen pizza to wash it down with) and when I walked in the door I was greeted by a table of Mystery Beer. The table held three TJ’s brown paper bags which each contained six randomly chosen beers. Some spoilsport killjoys had opened two of the bags and must have found the selection within unsatisfactory, because they were still on the table. I grabbed the third bag, still stapled shut, because I like a little mystery in my Mystery Beer.

This is what we found inside the bag:

I am a little disappointed in the Good People at TJ’s for the inclusion of an NA. I have nothing against Non-Alcoholic beer, but I think that should have been advertised as a possibility. That said, for $3.99 I have NO complaints, and I’d buy another.

As it turns out, although my gal at the Rodeo Drive Vuitton store was promised those shoes in my size, what they ended up getting was the next size up. They were unbelievable, but they were simply too big.

I know how that will disappoint some of you, but before you think I’ll be going barefoot tonight, check out what can happen if you go into the store instead of doing all this over the phone:

I hadn’t even seen these, and now they are mine!

I may still get the silver ones too, if they can find them, but these cost so much more that even I may blush.

[click all you like but you'd better be sitting down]

Looks like I need $575, and pronto.

Today’s mail brought this new catalog from Loius Vuitton shoes. I damn near peed my pants when I saw these. Yes, they are a chrome finished silver patent leather, with high-polished silver metal heels.

Sweet Mother of JEBUS I need these shoes or I will surely expire.

So come on, it’s Valentine’s Day – who’s with me?

UPDATE:
The Best Man In The World just informed me that these would make a lovely Valentine’s gift, should I be able to secure them.

Naturally I agreed and what can I say – the Rodeo Drive store is trying to get a pair in my size right now. I should know by noon!

And don’t worry about me at an airport – these are far from the first shoes I own that can double as weapons.

Yeah, I know, I don’t need any more stuff in my house, in fact, I could stand to get rid of a bit of it. But that doesn’t stop me from browsing the Craigslist “free” section. Yeah, there are a lot of free couches and fill dirt out there. But maybe you’re missing some gems.

I feel really bad for some of these people. Won’t you browse around and help them out? Here are some items of interest:

Large Ceramic Sculpture and Free Drink (photos!)

A friend of a friend made this 4 foot, 200 pound ceramic sculpture and I inherited it 3 years ago. I have moved and don’t have room for it, so it’s your lucky day.

4 out of 5 craigslisters agreed that this is the best free, large ceramic sculpture on craiglist this year!! It’s perfect for a garden or foyer or as a bird or rodent habitat, or to re-enact that episode of Star Trek where some poor extra gets melted or something, the possibilities are endless, and you really have to see it in person to really appreciate it and the best part of this run on sentence is that it’s FREE!! It’s also heavy so I’ll help you put in your car and give you a free beer or shot of the liquor of your choice! Please don’t email me with “is it still availble?”, I promise I will delete this ad the second the item is gone.

Read the rest of this entry →

This new store, Liquid, Cigarettes n More opened on Santa Monica Blvd. and promises it all:

Medicinia Natural
Internet Access
Insurance
Phone Cards
Cigars
Pipes
Porn!

I’m just wonder what that LIQUID they’re offering on the marquee is. (Click photo for largeness.)

The folks over at NotNeutral have released a series of porcelain dinner plates featuring 4 cities that were chosen “for their reputations as gateways, and for the way each is dealing with the effects of agglomeration as its population begins to reach critical mass.” In addition to our lovely city, Shanghai, Cairo, and Berlin were also lucky enough to be plated. About the above NotNeutral writes:

The Los Angeles plate is ringed with freeways. A deep green mass represents Dodger Stadium and Elysian Park, and key buildings in the historic core are highlighted in red. The city, thanks to its youth and love of the automobile, has developed in a singular way unlike the traditional condensed urban cores of east coast cities.

If you want one, they are taking preorders now, although the site says they will be available in early Feb. [Thanks Till]

If that’s the case (and I’m still a bit iffy on why that would be), then you’d better head on over to Belly Bella in Beverly Hills right away.

For reasons beyond my cognitive abilities, my friendly letter carrier just delivered their new catalog to me. I do not have a belly button piercing, nor am I likely to get one. In fact they skeeve me and I wish the whole trend would just go away already.

Nevertheless, the existence of Belly Bella tells me that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.

If you like white gold or platinum (and who doesn’t) you can look to spend 7 or 8 Thousand Dollars on a nice belly ring. The cheap ones are about two grand, and if you’re REALLY frugal you can maybe get out of there with a “dangle” for only $700.

Hey, at these prices why not get two?

So I dial a local adult emporium to make my reservation for my friend Polly‘s upcoming (adult) staged reading and am greeted by the cheery, professional, completely non-sexual voice of a woman listing my available options on the voicemail menu:

For accounts payable, press “6″…for store hours, press “blah blah”…

And then, without so much as a hint of a nudge or wink,

For leather, press ’15′;” “For toys, press ’18′.

Which immediately brings to mind two questions: what are items 16 & 17, and why are all other voicemail menus so lame?

Warning: please do NOT start dialing the Pleasure Chest to hear the menu–it only works if the lines are all full and as a responsible citizen and former retail worker, I don’t want some nice counter person losing her mind.

I am not a big fan of the mall concept. Malls have taken the magic both out of Main Streets and out of classic department stores. Malls require me to fight for parking in order to shop at chain stores. Malls are not my friend. I love the Old Town/3rd Street model – a mall/Main Street hybrid – but not so much a Grove or a Westside Pavilion.

However, I do frequent two malls in L.A. on a semi-regular basis: the Beverly Center and the 7th & Fig complex. The Beverly Center has an H&M, and I’ve been waiting for one of those to come to town for years (and telling my conscience, which is concerned about the manufacturing conditions of the clothes, to shut up). Plus, the BC is on my way home from work in Beverly Hills, which makes it almost convenient. And the 7th & Fig complex is where the Golds’ Gym is downtown, and since I’d been a member for years at the Muscle Beach Venice location, that’s where we went when it was time to get gym memberships.

Here’s my gripe: BOTH malls are under construction, and have exposed some design flaws as a result.
Read the rest of this entry →

[click to big-o-late]

These guys were all bunched up outside WACKO/Soap Plant today, taking pictures of people going in, but obviously waiting to get a shot of SOMEBODY coming out.

We went in, did our shopping, looked around for celebretrons, and found none. At this point I should add that I wouldn’t know many of them even if I were standing right beside them – they all just look like bums to me.

However, being of a curious nature (I like that about you Littlebrains!) I went out and asked one of them who they were waiting for. The guy told me Chris Rock.

I said I hadn’t seen him in there. He told me I wasn’t looking.

So I went back in and found the black guy who works there and came out with him to pose – and they took our picture.

(Shhhhh! He’s not actually Chris Rock!)

[rub picture gently to enlarge]

I shit you not, I was at Neiman Marcus yesterday and I found at least one display featuring these Man Panties.

Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, and others designers, and I’m sorry to add that I failed to check the price tags so I have no idea how crazy expensive these are.

So tell me: What kind of man would wear such a thing?

As if the Neiman-Marcus Last Call Sale weren’t enough (Manolos in the low $200′s for gods’ sake!), today I got this postcard from Diavolina.

They’ve taken 50% off all fall and winter merchandise, which is not limited to just shoes.

Sale starts Thursday Jan 11th and they’re open M-Sat 11-7 and Sunday 12 -5.

DIAVOLINA SHOES
156 S. Robertson Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90048
310-550-1341

[click for detail]

Somebody’s looking out for you!

The Echo Park Ave merchants are staying open tonight until midnight tonight (Wednesday) to make sure you get your shopping done in time for the big You Know What.

In addition to some good shopping, you’re also looking at a sidewalk sale, drinks and snacks, and free gift wrapping.

Block of 1551 Echo Park Avenue
Tonight ’til midnight