One of our readers, Geoffrey McStroul sent in that photo and the following story:
Ok, so here’s my parking tard story (photos taken on a Treo 650):
I’m going to Western Bagel this morning (the one in Woodland Hills)
and the area of the parking lot nearest the Western Bagel and the
Coffee Bean mostly has compact spots, and there is this Chevy
Silverado taking up not 2 spots but FOUR spots. Silly me, I didn’t
take the pictures before I went into Western Bagel, but when I came
out I managed to take 2 photos before I was caught and unable to take
the piece de resistance of parking tard photos:
Owner: Can I help you?
Me: Is this your truck?
Owner: Yes.
Me: You’re taking up 4 compact spots.
Owner: Well it is a big truck.
Me: There are other non-compact spots to park in.
Owner: Sorry to ruin your day.
My thoughts after that were that “no, you didn’t ruin my day” and
“you’re going on teh interwebs about to be famous on LA Metblogs”.
(His license plate frame says “Ain’t goin down til the sun comes up”.)
This driver not only straddled the line and took up two spaces, the space on the right is clearly marked “10 Minute Customer Parking,” so if (s)he parked for more than 10 minutes, then bing! bing!, they committed a second violation and can move onto our bonus parking ‘tard round. Actually, “‘tard” is an inaccurate and too charitable term for these folks. I suggest we change it to reflect the deliberate awareness of their actions. How about “asshole?” Or “dickhead?” Maybe “PMLALP” (Person who Makes Life in Los Angeles Less Pleasant)? Any other suggestions?
Dude, you drove right up and missed the lettering in the painted over walkway for the handicap access that said “no parking”. You even missed the “no parking” sign on the door right in front of you. I’m still amazed you did the “no speak english” stuff when I pointed the sign to you. I guess you were so busy with your phone conversation on your cell you didn’t notice that I HEARD YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH. Why oh why, when there are 35 other spots in that lot open did you have to park blocking the egress of the sole handicap space in the lot?
Pic grabbed with the trusty cell cam. It does get bigger with a click.
This is the best photo I could get of this insane parking job in the strip mall at Glendale and Fletcher, so allow me to explain exactly what you’re looking at. To begin, it’s bad enough that the black SUV in the front is parked over the striped area indicating the end of the parking row and is jutting out into the traffic lane on the left side of the photo. What’s worse, however, is that the genius in the silver compact somehow deduced that there was a corresponding spot behind the SUV that was completely in the traffic lane. The lesson here? They paint lines on the ground for a reason, and if there’s a steady stream of cars backed up behind your parked car angrily honking away, you just parked in the middle of the road.
Since I picked up a little buzz bomb I forgot how nice it is to be able to have compact spaces whilst running around doing my errands. I do use compact where ever possible to save the “big” spaces for those that need them. This douchette was a classic and too good to pass up. Never mind that there were plenty of empty full size spaces with a couple of steps from where she parked, she still HAD to park taking up 2 compact spaces. Pic taken in the Hastings Ranch Center on Foothill in Pasadena.
Pic by me with the trust phonecam no matter where I go, there I am (with a gottcha).
The parking lot behind B&B Hardware on the West side is relatively small, considering how popular the store is. The availability of spots is usually very tight. That didn’t dissuade the woman with the bling bling jeans and the yellow Porsche Cayman S with custom exterior work from taking up two spaces. Her car isn’t just straddling the yellow line, it’s absolutely making love to it.
Yeah yeah, it’s me again. The guy on the bike, and with another tall tard’s tale to tell — but hang on… This time my idiot du jour isn’t a poor pedestrian jogging on the freeway because the sideways suck. Instead it’s an honest-to-goodness hydrant-blocking, bikelane-squatting red-curb-ignoring, engine idling delivery vehicle that I had to detour into traffic to get around on Venice Boulevard.
But rather than a standard vidclip, I decided to dig down a little deeper into the shallow well of my slideshow skills and offer up an annotated sequence of images, the better to showcase the decidedly non-superior parking stylings of the driver of this Superior Anhausner Foods truck, as well as the bus driver who may have saved my life by giving me the room to get around and get on down the road:
P.S. The Quicktime clip is here in case the YouTube embed doesn’t shine through or the resolution is crap and you don’t wanna go view it from its direct page.
Picture it, a beautiful day to be up at the Griffith Park Observatory, parking is getting really tight and people have to start parking down the hill. You see old folks strugging to get up the hill with the walkers, mom types with the same struggle with strollers.
You round the corner and spot this ‘tard with his/her obese-mobile SUV parking conveniently in 2, count them TWO, compact car parking spaces. Charming.
Rather than wish a pox upon it with running out of gas in the Cahuenga Pass, I’d rather see a swarm of preschoolers with keys and rakes visit the side as far as they can reach. Total Tardship like that deserves an appropriate reward. (That’s sarcasm folks, not that I would ever advocate actually physically damaging someones property no matter how big an assholian they are).
Wyoming Ave in Pasadena by John Muir High-school. This parking ’tard just double-parked on a street so narrow it is essentially one direction at a time. Double-parked, not even his hazard flashers on. I had to park around the block and walk back to the gym to pick up my youngest from Basketball Camp. Total 20 minutes it took me to get in and out with Joey, it was still there. To quote Jar-Jar Binks “How Rude”.
If we were a cable television news network, I’d hit you with a “shocking new development” promo, because this one is truly bizarre. Just a month ago, I wrote about the RV parking scofflaws who camp out along Washington Boulevard in the Marina and Venice. In particular, I singled out and photographed the one I regarded as the worst offender. So yesterday, I passed by this vehicle in its usual resting place, and this is what I see. It’s destroyed.
At approximately 4pm on Thursday, June 26th, an SUV crashed through the front of the iO West bar.
Thankfully, nobody was hurt. Due to the extensive damage to the exterior and interior of the bar, the theatre will be closed until repairs are completed.
ALL SHOWS ARE CANCELED UNTIL JULY 7th.
CLASSES WILL CONTINUE AS SCHEDULED.
Phone service has been temporarily interrupted and should be restored by the weekend.
Updates and info will be available on the iO West website as they become available.
We’ve talked about sketchy valet situations here before but this one is definitely reaching the top of that list. These photos showed up on my friend Skampy‘s flickr feed yesterday and are from a situation downtown at The Edison on Wednesday night. Apparently upon leaving the bar the valet people said there was a “problem” with her car (the BMW pictured above) and they would need to take them too it, and when they got there they found this. It seems one of the valet drivers had lost control of the Toyota (also pictured above) and slammed it into her parked car. Yeah, nice “problem.” I guess once the manager of the Edison got involved he and several other witnesses heard the valet folks say they will take full responsibility for this, but if those giant disclaimers they have all over the place are any heads up, my guess is it’s not going to be a smooth and easy solution. Yikes!
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