I spent most of the week in Pittsburgh for the Thanksgiving holiday, visiting the boyfriend’s family. It was unbelievably wonderful to get home yesterday, to actual warm sunshine – not that deceptive brittle light that I remember from clear winter days in higher latitudes. And after three days in a fleece vest, extra socks and gloves, I woke up this morning and put on my lightest cotton sleeveless dress to celebrate being back in Los Angeles.

Also, contrary to expectations, the boyfriend and I had a shockingly easy travel experience. Every flight and connection was on time. On Thanksgiving weekend. Our strategy was to fly out on a red-eye flight on Tuesday night, arrive early Wednesday, and come home early Saturday, thus avoiding heavy travel days and getting cheaper flights. And it worked. It took us less than half an hour to get from the curbside dropoff to the waiting area at the gate we flew from, including both baggage check and security check lines. And because this was at LAX, I was amazed – I’ve spent more time than that in security lines on non-holiday weeks.

So I’ve come back from my holiday travel without any horror stories to tell. Did anyone have any problems at LAX? The LA Times says they expected 1.8 million people to go through the airport over the four day holiday weekend, but that it looked pretty standard on Thanksgiving Day – “what you’d expect it to look like”. Also, did anyone go through Burbank and Long Beach airports for holiday travel – and what were those airports like? Now that I’ve shared my secret flight times for avoiding holiday rush, I may need to use those next year.

Earlier, Heathervescent was wondering who would be driving the hearse in tonite’s parade – at right is the answer. Pic by me.

“Here Comes Santa Claus,” written by Gene Autry but turned into the greatest Christmas song of all time by Elvis Presley, was inspired by the Hollywood Christmas Parade. View from a Loft has the story, which also mentions this annual event was originally called “The Santa Claus Lane Parade.”

Andyeye is the new L.A. fashion blog from Andy of Here In Van Nuys promsiing to “find and feature the hidden and obscure creators and wearers of style in the Southland.”

Martini Republic adds City Taxes to the list of shakedowns Los Angeles perpetrates on its citizens, along with red light cameras and affordable housing taxes.

Recentering El Pueblo has a game of “Guess the Location” fit for LA City Nerd.

The National Park Service’s GPS animal tracking can emit a “mortality signal” for animals that don’t move after eight hours… unfortunately, one on a puma in Topanga Canyon went off – apparently the victim of patricide.

“The Digger” at Westwood Happenings is calling for a complete ban on hookahs in Westwood Village, citing public safety.

LA Frog has pics of a Christmas tree sculpture at the Edgemar Arts Complex made entirely of shopping carts.

Hollywood Blvd is closed to traffic from La Brea to several blocks east (I didn’t walk all the way down) for the 75th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade (on myspace too!!!) According to the site, the parade kicks off at 5pm today, but the locals told me things are happening at 2pm. Luckily I got my shopping done at Hollywood & Highland before Noon and was outta there. But enjoy the pre-show float photos.

Update: I almost forgot to mention, I saw a decorated Christmas Hearse on the way. I can’t wait to see who’s riding in that one, but alas, I will not be watching.

Where’s the roving bunch of santa’s when you need em?

Maybe there was a time when the holidays were less about consumerism and had a deeper meaning. To find out, plunk down your hard earned dollars on one or more of these nostalgic trips down Christmas Lane.

Following are the selections, more details under the mistletoe after the jump…

• A Jive Bomber’s Christmas
• A Civil War Christmas
• The Retro Holiday Slideshow
• Fake Radio’s old time radio Christmas performances
• 1940′s Christmas at Club Sweet Lorraine
• A John Waters Christmas

(additional coverage of 2006 Holiday shows here)
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There’s something ruefully contagious about the garishness of the Holiday season… contagious like a bad stomach flu. However, it also results in some twisted productions by the Los Angeles theatre community.

After the jump is a grab bag of the following egg nog infused selections:

• Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer
• Bob’s Holiday Office Party
• Holiday Fever!
• Pageant of the Seasons, a  a 99¬¢ Only Modern Something!
• A Mulholland Christmas Carol
• A Ray Bradbury Christmas

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I’m not sure when the Miss Horrorfest winner will be announced (it was postponed from Halloween, to tonite on Jimmy Kimmel Live, but now that appears to be up in the air), but I’m still banking my blood money on Black Betty, who was interviewed here last week, to be crowned…

This weekend, right across the street from where JKL is taped, The Mann’s Chinese will be one of the theatres showing “8 Films To Die For”, the AfterDark Films nationwide horror fest.

I asked Black Betty, horror fan extraordinaire, what her picks were from the lineup:

UNREST is a terrifying film, and mainly because I heard it was filmed with real Dead Bodies (but I can’t confirm for sure or not if that is true) Either way it was really creepy. It’s about a young med student who is haunted by the spirit of her Cadaver in her Anatomy Class. Gross.. no pun intended.

THE ABANDONED is also one of my favorites. It’s a VERY well-made movie about an LA movie producer who travels back to Russia to claim the home of her now deceased parents. She never knew who her family was growing up as she was orphaned as a baby… When she arrives at the home in Russia she becomes trapped there and her arrival sets off a series of horrifying events that she has no escape from. Also, The Abandoned has a REALLY big twist at the end. HUGE.

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Last chance to vote on local Jessica Chisum, aka Black Betty, for Miss Horrorfest

photos by Heathervescent

While as a child in Alaska, Jessica Chisum used to stage her own gruesome death scenes for her parents to arrive home to. “Most scenarios involved laying in a terribly uncomfortable position with a large kitchen knife, and lots of ketchup. The first time my Mother found me, she was horrified. After that, they seemed to catch on.”

More recently, Chisum is better known as her alterego, Black Betty, one of four finalists in the Miss Horrorfest scream queen contest(previously mentioned here). The winner becomes “the face of 8 Films To Die For… and receive $50,000.00 as well as making appearances on TV & Radio and have their likeness splattered on posters and billboards around the country.”

Before making the move to Los Angeles five years ago, Chisum earned her acting degree in Seattle, after being born and raised in “The Land of the Midnight Sun,” Fairbanks, Alaska. “It is a little known fact that Vampires often vacation in Alaska during the winters,” Jessica says. “In fact, they fit right in amongst the white-faced black-clothed hibernating masses.”

Perhaps as a way to avoid those same vampires, during “those long, dark, cold (-65) winters”, she “cultivated a curious obsession with horror movies.” Chisum explains that one of the reasons she deserves the Miss Horrorfest crown is due to her love of those films, as well as being “a whiz at horror trivia” and being able to stage “clever re-enactments.”

And then, “there’s that scream.” Chisum describes hers as “a piercing, too-long lasting shriek that dies out in a blood-curdling moan. As any screamer knows, the key is to be completely relaxed yet terrified at the same time.”

Black Betty didn’t even exist until half an hour before the Los Angeles audition for Miss Horrorfest. At the urging of some friends, Chisum only tried out after being assured “she was perfect for it”.

(another pic of Black Betty after the jump)
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How are you gentleman? Yet another week of talking smack in the comments. Who said what?

• Half of L.A.’s businesses breakin’ the law! – Do you know what the law regarding credit card usage is? David Markland points out that it’s illegal to have a minimum charge, and everyone has an opinion about that.
• goddamn fucking election junk mail shit fuck – You think that last post inspired opinions? HA! Wil has had it with political direct mail, and so have a lot of people. But not everyone…
• Where would you photograph LA? – Wheaton checks in with back to back lotsa comment threads. This is a solicitation for suggestions of where out of towners might take cool non touristy photos around LA. Lots of ideas in this thread.
• 10 Reasons Why I’ll Probably Never Return to Knott’s Halloween Haunt – Theme parks on holidays. Cindy Mosqueda details the horror and scares the crap out of every single reader we have.
• Printing The Legend… – The Legend of the haunted picnic table has been blown wide open by Will Campbell and Norm Bates.

My friend Sarah told me a little while back about an event that she is involved with called La Ofrenda, which is occurring tonight, and also for a few days afterwards from the look of it. It will be taking place beneath and around the Spring Street bridge in downtown Los Angeles.

Tonight promises:

Live music, performance & visual artists, video art, grandmothers talking circles, fire, drumming, dance, tamales and non-alchoholic libations free. Come create living and traditional ofrendas.

Click on the image to embiggenate and get all the info.

Pay no attention to the pumpkin patches morphing into Christmas tree lots! There’s no reason the Halloween season needs to come to an end so soon, especially here in Los Angeles (we’re the goth capital, after all!)…

Here’s a clawfull of ways to suck a few more weeks out of Halloween…

Visit the 1/2 off Halloween decoration sales at Ahhhs! and other local retailers. Install immediately.

Eat some gummy brains while you go see Night of the Living Dead 3D, opening November 10th. This remake premiered at the 3D Film Fest held at the Egyptian a few months ago.

Take extensive inventory of your trick or treating booty! Plug this all into Excel, cross referencing with addresses so you can remember which houses gave out the best candy. Freeze the snack sized Snickers, immediately eat the peanut butter cups, and hunt down and maim anyone who gave out popcorn balls.

Get tickets for a premiere screening of Gris Grimly’s short film, Cannibal Flesh Riot, on November 15th or 16th at the Silent Movie Theatre. (But first, meet Gris and have him sign a copy of his newest book (with text by Laura Leuck), Santa Claws,  at Dark Delicacies on November 11th at 2pm).

Make a weekend of watching all new horror films at with national mini-horror film festival 8 Films to Die For, hitting LA screens from November 17th through the 19th. Also known as the After Dark Horror Fest, local theatres include Burbanks Media Center, Manns Culver, and the Mann Chinese. You can also still vote on Miss HorrorFest (the Elvira-esh hostess of the fest, I guess), but first take a peek at the four finalist videos that were shot around LA (I have the hots for local babe Black Betty).

Visit Panpipes in Hollywood or Rosemary’s Billygoat in Los Feliz and have them teach you how to do a spell or two.
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I’m really enjoying Google Book’s archive of public domain texts of which every page is searchable using their excellent search engine. I’ve been looking for some good Halloween stuff from a century ago, and I found this interesting tidbit about murders and their investigation from A History of California: The American Period which quotes the Star from 1851:

During the past year no less than thirty-one murders have been committed in the city of Los Angeles and its vicinity and who can name one instance in which a murderer was punished.

The next page gets even better:

Prisoners confined in the city jail were nearly always able to escape with the aid of friends or through connivance of the guard.

Nice, well at least that isn’t usually a problem any more. The book goes on to describe an act of mob justice in which three men were hanged, only to later find out that he was innocent, oops. I will say the current rate of unsolved LA murders is around 50%, so while there has been improvement, we still have a long way to go.

Reading further, it keeps getting better and better. I seems there was a man named Joaquin Murietta, who became some what of a Southern California Robin Hood. a $5,000 bounty was put on his head, literally and he was eventually killed by a band of rangers, under the command of the ironically named Captain Love, near Tejon Pass. They ended up pickling Murietta’s head in alcohol along with one of his chief lietenants “Three Fingered Jack’s” hand. The items were sold at auction and went for $36 and then later sold to a merchant named Natches for display in his store window.

On Friday night, I returned to Knott’s Berry Farm’s Halloween Haunt for the first time since I was a high school junior 10 years ago. My experience then was great, and I was excited about checking out the new mazes, rides, and recurring shows (e.g., the Hanging). Either nothing about my last visit sucked, or I just blocked it out because the whole experience was much scarier, and not in a good way.

I’m sure there are thousands of people who attend Halloween Haunt, love it, and can’t wait to return. I’m not one of those, and here are 10 reasons why (after the jump):
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In my office today, the Internet department has the highest concentration of people in costumes. There are six people dressed up in here – and three people dressed up in the entire rest of the company. Of course, this is because we have a reputation for being crazy Internet people, but still! Where is everyone’s Hallowe’en spirit??

So this leads me to ask – how many of you out there have offices that dressed up for Hallowe’en? Did anyone get encouraged to wear costumes? Did anyone’s office issue policies for costumes – exposed skin limits, size restrictions (Transformers tend to knock stuff over), any sort of guidelines? Are there any offices that made it a policy like Wacky Tie Day, which is to say, you don’t have to express yourself, unless you want to look like you’re not part of the team?

And, most importantly, does anyone have someone in a REALLY cool costume in their office? We’ve got a Cruella de Vil here who has a fantastic costume in her own right, but it becomes exceptionally awesome because she’s also wearing dalmatian-spotted roller skates.

I’m sitting at my desk wearing a Red Riding Hood cape over a tank top and jeans, which is a perfectly acceptable level of dress up. I refrained from wearing my entire costume into the office, because it involves a very short dress. But I’ll put that on at the end of the day, just before I head out to the WeHo Parade. If anyone’s looking for me up there, I’ll be the goth Red Riding Hood (“Little Dead Riding Hood”) wandering around with the Victorian era undertaker. In the meantime, I’ll be working with my hood up for the rest of the day, so I can hide my illicit headphones and listen to the new Cruxshadows album while working.

Okay, so I am a bit Scroogish when it comes to Halloween Festivities…. but I DO like to party. So tonight, as many Halloween nights before, I will most likely join the 50,000 or so other Angelenos and walk along Santa Monica Blvd to enjoy the freaky, sometimes scary sights. I guarantee you, I will see something that blows my mind. Now… what to wear… what to wear…. cuz you don’t even want to THINK about showing up for this party without a costume!!! Check here for details.
UPDATE: I got it wrong: 500,000 reveler’s are expected to show up! Yikes!!!!

If L.A. is too scary for you, here’s some Halloween happenings elsewhere on the Metroblogging network.

Liz Henry snapped this pic of a hearse with antlers attached to the hood and a coffin on the roof for Metroblogging San Francisco.

In our nation’s capital, Michael beats down some drunkards while dressed as a zombie (and a little drunk himself).

“Does any city do Halloween better that Montreal?” Metroblogging Montreal’s Lisa Hunter doesn’t think so… alas, I have to give it to the Canadians that I agree with their holiday view: “Most other places, Halloween is just an excuse to dress up… What’s been lost amidst all the candy and fairy princess costumes is the idea that Halloween should be genuinely scary.”

Metroblogging Montreal’s Laiya reminisces about past Halloweens.
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